to say that I won't do two 60 minute round trips so she can see her friend?

[letsi]

my 12 year old wants to see her friend who lives half an hour away. (friend moved house)
She wants to stay for the day and me to pick her up late evening. Her friends parents don't drive. This would mean doing two 60 minute round trips. I've asked her to see if she can hang out with a local friend this weekend. Am I being mean? I wouldn't mind so much if she'd do a sleepover so I didn't have to do two trips but friend can't do a sleepover and dd hates them.
Would you do this driving?
End of month and can't afford the diesel either!

I’m doing that tomorrow just so my child can spend a few hours at a birthday party. I don’t see the problem.

it’s like a trip to the supermarket for me. Hardly a noteworthy distance.

You need to rearrange it for next month and factor in the fuel costs to your monthly budget for the future. What does 2 hours of driving in a diesel cost? Maybe a tenner? Find the money

It sounds like you're looking for a get out because you can't be bothered to do your DD a favour. You need to mum up.

Yes so do we. With 3 kids and 100 sports and all the parties to boot, we are on the go all weekend, my children value their activities and sport so if they want to keep going to these they wont make such driving time intensive plans to see their friends! We hardly have any time left to do washing and shopping as it is.

Arrrggghhh! My mistake! You are right! £1.50 is the price per litre! To check the diesel price, I googled, ‘how much does one gallon of diesel cost in the UK?’ It took me to a chart on the RAC website. Stupidly, I just read the price without read the small print below stating it was price per litre rather than the gallon price I’d requested!

I do this every weekend for a club my child goes to and loves and honestly didn't even think much of an hour each way being a lot of driving until I saw so many comments about it

It's not every day so really wouldn't see it as a big deal

I just make a travel mug of coffee, pump the tunes up and enjoy the drive

I used to do this sort of thing regularly (except it was longer trips) - worth it for my child's happiness.
Cost of fuel not an issue though. If your child has a meal while there does this not balance out a bit?

Yes you are being mean. It's not DD fault her friend moved and I bet when it was happening you said she could go to theirs and play. Take your daughter, it probably won't even be £15 in fuel.

If she can't afford it then she can't afford it £15 can make quite a difference at times

I live in USA so this wouldn’t even phase me at all. It’s half an hour drive to the shops or anywhere, I regularly go an hour and a half each way to pick up purchases off Facebook marketplace. It’s annoying but not a reason to stop her seeing a friend she loves

You could halve the cost if you hung around insteading of driving there and back twice. I think it's great that your daughter is such a staunch friend. I was in the position of her friend a couple of times during my childhood and it's so reassuring to have a real friend from where you were before whilst you settle down in the new place. Also, what about buses? Lastly, do you know her Mum? Maybe you could do something together?

The trip length is no issue. Wouldn’t think twice about half an hour and I can afford the petrol so not a concern either. But if you can’t afford it you can’t afford it.

I don't think it's because you live in the USA that you regularly drive half an hour. Plenty of us in the UK doing the same things.

TBH I'm not sure why OP posted the thread as so many people have said they would do it, but it's not even an option for OP anyway. If she can't afford the fuel she can't afford the fuel. All of us who are saying we would do it can obviously afford it.

You can’t afford it so end of story

i do, do this though.
mine go to a large catchment school so this is me most weekends.

Clearly if you can't afford the fuel she can't go but need to figure out solutions for ongoing.

At 12 I'd be getting them used to working out how to do some of the journeys by bus or train. So they they could do the journey in the daytime alone and then just have one journey to collect. Friendships are important, I'd be prioritising decent friendships.

I think I’d take her in the short term. Maybe for 3 or 4 trips. It will help the adjustment process. It’s dreadful feeling lonely as a child. The other parents might be happy to share diesel costs as it no doubt benefits their Dd too. I would be hopeful she’ll drift towards new more local friends before too long. Also encourage more zoom or FaceTime conversations as a longer term alternative.

Yes I would and wouldn’t think twice - lots of places take 30 mins to get to that we go to regularly.

However, the worry with the cost of diesel isn’t something I have in my life- I have a tiny petrol car that seems to run on fumes.

In that case, I’d get the girls to arrange their meet up a different weekend.

You could always find somewhere for the girls to meet up half way, even if it’s town shopping and lunch. Two half hour round trips sounds much more reasonable.

Why is 12 too young to get the train? A lot of children are travelling further than that by train, tube or bus to and from school from 11. I am assuming that it's not a really long or complicated journey by the fact you are suggesting it would be ok when she's older.