To wish I had a sister

[Briannaco]

My mum has four sisters. They've supported each other through every stage of life.

Now in their 60s and 70s, they all go for lunch together every two weeks. They all ring each other every week and tell each other what's been happening each week, and they support each other over the phone.

They are all close to each other. However my aunts are not like that to me. I think because they have so many nieces and nephews they are not really close to any of us.

But the five sisters themselves are close.

I have no sisters. I have one older brother. If I ring him and ask him any questions or ill try to chat to him, he will just reply with one word answers. He is very untalkative and unsupportive. He never asks me about my life. It's like having no one.

I just feel like life would be so much better having a sister and I feel sad ill never have one. My mum said that her friend was saying the same thing to her the other day. My mums friend has no sisters and she said that she'd love to have a sister.

My mum has 2 sisters and they hate each other, none of them speak anymore. A sister isn’t a guarantee of a nice relationship, so I think your mum is very lucky :)

Wow. What did they fall out over?

Now I think of it, any sisters that I know of, are close.

I’ve voted YABU because it’s very optimistic to think that all sister relationships are as wonderful and supportive as your mum and her sisters.
I’ve two sisters myself (and a few brothers) and it’s certainly not a relationship like the one you describe! I’m closer to a couple of my brothers, for sure.

Just to add, I have a group of very close girl friends that I’ve been friends with for nearly 20 years. As far as I’m concerned they are my sisters - got me through IVF, divorce, everything. And I also have a useless older brother so I feel your pain! Found family can be just as amazing x

Not all sisters are like your mum & aunts. A lot are selfish, inconsiderate and a pita.

If you had an older sister she could be as distant as your brother.

Yeah.

I'd still like to have one though!

My brother never asks me a thing about my life. It's very lonely.

I have a sister and we've not spoken in 2 years. She brought nothing good into my life, just drama, stress and heartache.
The idea of a sister is lovely, and your mum is very lucky. However I bet out of every 3 people you speak to with a sister 1 will have a story like mine.

It's possible of course. But every sisters that I know- really get on well.

They're like each other's best supporters.

My Mum and my aunt have a very rocky relationship. Your relationship with your brother has nothing to do with his gender and everything to do with the fact that you are two different people. Having a sister is no guarantee of anything.

A lot of childhood trauma on my mums part from being bullied by them. One of my aunts is a certified nutter and awful person, the other one fell out with my mum over money (the usual). Honestly, bio family isn’t always where it’s at imo

You can have mine. Last time we met she tried to kill my DC.

It is a bit to do with his gender I think.

My friends say to me that they can chat easier to their sisters than to their brothers.

Having sisters isn't all that great in my experience. Haven't seen or spoken to them for years. My friends are more supportive.

Thanks for sharing.

Yeah i have an idealised version of a sister.

Its just - we want what we don't have!

I dream of what she'd be like

I always wanted a sister too but then I look at my mother and her 6 sisters. She hasn't spoken to a few of them in 30 years.

Your brother sounds like my sister.

Cliche as it sounds friends are the family you choose for yourself.

I just feel like life would be so much better having a sister and I feel sad ill never have one.

I understand how you feel. However observing life in general I can only say that things don't always work out as we imagine. I know too many people, who don't get on with their siblings at all and more often than not it is, for some odd reason, with their sisters. They often say they were at each other's throats all the time or most of the time as kids and now just don't get on that much as adults. Many keep their adult relationships to nothing more than gifts for birthdays and Christmas. Some don't talk at all. Sometimes, you are closer to your neighbours than to your siblings. Having the same parents does not guarantee personalities that would allow you to get on.

I know that this is unlikely to make you feel any less sad about not having a sister but I guess what I am trying to say is that I would encourage you to cultivate the relationships you'd like to have with other people. It is genuinely possible to be closer to your friends than you'd be to your siblings. 🌸

I know how you feel.

It's to do with the fact that two of you didn't develop a relationship. Have you ever actually expressed your need to him for support, general interest, going for meals together? I am going to guess no. So it's a communication issue not a gender issue. But if it makes you happy to spend your time wishing for a sister you will never had as opposed to investing this time into building closer relationship with your brother, that option is always available to you too.

I have one sister who hates me and hasn’t spoke to me for years… just saying. A sister is not a right of passage to friendship.

I have a sister and we aren't close at all. Barely see each other, barely talk to each other etc.

Be careful what you wish for.

My mum has 5 sisters and none of them speak to each other. No point wasting time wishing cos that could be you!

My mother has 2 sisters and one brother and they weren't all that close. One sister and her brother are now gone. Just one sister left and they still not close, so really having a sibling does not guarantee anyone any great relationships.

Yeah of course I've expressed those needs to him.

He's just generally quite self absorbed.

If he meets up with my mum, he just talks about himself, and he expects her to run round after him. He will never ask her how she is.

She has said this about him too. That he will never ask about me at all, or never ask about her life at all, , but he just expects her to do things for him

My mother also has 6 brothers 🤣 doesn't talk to any of them. They are a deeply dysfunctional family.
I've only one and again lots of dysfunction. I often wonder how parents forge close healthy bonds between their children.