To wish I had a sister

[Briannaco]

My mum has four sisters. They've supported each other through every stage of life.

Now in their 60s and 70s, they all go for lunch together every two weeks. They all ring each other every week and tell each other what's been happening each week, and they support each other over the phone.

They are all close to each other. However my aunts are not like that to me. I think because they have so many nieces and nephews they are not really close to any of us.

But the five sisters themselves are close.

I have no sisters. I have one older brother. If I ring him and ask him any questions or ill try to chat to him, he will just reply with one word answers. He is very untalkative and unsupportive. He never asks me about my life. It's like having no one.

I just feel like life would be so much better having a sister and I feel sad ill never have one. My mum said that her friend was saying the same thing to her the other day. My mums friend has no sisters and she said that she'd love to have a sister.

Yeah and I'm sure you can also see that someone who has never had a sister,

Could really want a sister..

My mums friend said this to my mum the other day. She has no sisters

She said that it's her deepest desire in life, to have a sister

You can have mine if you like 😂

@Briannaco But as teens he definitely got more sullen and rude.

Sounds like it's been going on for a while. To be honest, he may or may not grow up, so the only thing you can do really is just leave him be and look to make friends outside family. Unfortunately life is just like that sometimes...

Not true at all.
Friends are better. Good friendships.
You chose each other, your not obligated because your related.

Yes nice when people close. My friend has a sister they dont talk. I have 2 sisters. We not overly close.

I must just be lucky, me and my two sisters get on fine. We don't live anywhere near each other but we message on our sisters what's app a lot, and sometimes do a group call. We meet up about 3 times a year.

I did have 3 brothers but unfortunately 2 died, the one brother that's left is difficult to talk to.

I actually have a sister and brother who i think are close but they're not close to me. Last time i spoke to my brother he got my husbands name wrong twice, I've only been married almost 30 years...and i only have them for extended family....

It is lonely indeed

You are hankering after what you cannot have.

It's a lovely fantasy but it's not your reality.

If you are finding life lonely, is there some way you can change this - volunteer/join a sports club/change job if you're remote working.

I bet a few could say that.

So how come children who have good family upbringings, do better in life?

I am now quite close to my sister but for about 10 years we hardly spoke. That's because she emigrated to Australia almost 30 years ago and there weren't the communication options then.

Now, I speak to her regularly and WhastsApp her every day, but I haven't physically seen her for over 6 years

you can have mine if you like - absolutely hate her!

I feel sad I don’t have a sister (I did but she died when we were little). My brother will always be there if I need him but not socially and he lives in a different country.

I have friends. I'm in clubs.

I still would like a good family connection which I don't have.

But I know it's pointless wishing for it, as I'll never have it

It doesn’t always work that way, OP. Your mum is lucky.

Look harder, OP. Some sisters are close but many are indifferent, envious or hostile.

It’s nice to have siblings that you get on well with (I have), but if I wasn’t related to my sisters, I’d never be friends with them. We are so different.

In my life, friends are so much more valuable. I don’t think it’s important in life to be close to your siblings when you’re older. Nice to have, but not essential. Our parents are dead now so there’s less to tie us together.

To me, good friendships are essential and mean so much more. I feel far luckier to have a great bunch of friends than I do to have siblings.

My mother and her sister have a 60 year feud going on. My grandmother and great aunt constantly bickered into their 80"s. Honestly not all sisters are supportive and friendly!

What's the point of this post.
You can't have one, I would have loved a grandad but they both died before I was born. That's life.
Focus on what you have and your health of course which is Important.

I feel exactly the same. I have an older brother but we’re not close. Lots of the sisters I know are like best friends as well as sisters. It must be so nice to have that extra support and shoulder to lean on, I feel like the cousin bond is stronger between the children of sisters as well.

That said I do know 2 sisters (my cousins) who hate each other and haven’t spoken in years. I find that really sad.

I didn't have any grandparents either.

The point of this post is I'm lonely. And I know other people who are too.

It's the people who have very little family that are the loneliest.

Actually I have one cousin; who's mum died when he was a child. He was also an only child . No siblings.

He told me that he was so desperately lonely in life, that he decided to have four children of his own.

He had very little family, no siblings, and he told me that he was so desperatley lonely, that he decided to have his own children, so he could have some family in his life

My MIL had 2 sisters, they all hated each other that much one emigrated to Canada 😂. Individually they were all nice people, was very odd.

Your Mum is probably just really lucky rather than it being the norm.

I find it rather strange that your mum's friend who is presumably around 60 expressed her 'deepest desire is to have a sister'.

At 6, my deepest desire was to have a sister.

By 60 I will have got over it.

I don't think your sample size is large enough to draw any firm conclusions. There can be fantastic brothers and awful sisters. I would say though, in general terms, siblings can enrich your life - and more siblings give you more chances of forging supportive bonds. But it can go horribly wrong with clashing personality types and parents who, no doubt unwittingly, stoke the fires of discontent by being easier on a child who is more like them. As has been said already, parents have a crucial role to play in inculcating a sense of fairness and balance in sibling interactions. Too often parental favouritism can prevent good, stable sibling relations developing.

Loneliness is a terrible feeling but having family isn’t a cure on its own .