To wish I had a sister

[Briannaco]

My mum has four sisters. They've supported each other through every stage of life.

Now in their 60s and 70s, they all go for lunch together every two weeks. They all ring each other every week and tell each other what's been happening each week, and they support each other over the phone.

They are all close to each other. However my aunts are not like that to me. I think because they have so many nieces and nephews they are not really close to any of us.

But the five sisters themselves are close.

I have no sisters. I have one older brother. If I ring him and ask him any questions or ill try to chat to him, he will just reply with one word answers. He is very untalkative and unsupportive. He never asks me about my life. It's like having no one.

I just feel like life would be so much better having a sister and I feel sad ill never have one. My mum said that her friend was saying the same thing to her the other day. My mums friend has no sisters and she said that she'd love to have a sister.

I have a sister but we’re not that close. We see each other relatively frequently at family gatherings or meet ups with our mum but never make the effort just the two of us, or ring each other etc. No reason why particularly, there’s no ‘issue’ and we don’t dislike each other but we’re fairly different personality-wise. If we’d been at school together or work colleagues we wouldn’t have chosen to be friends as we don’t click in that way. The point I’m making is you wouldn’t necessarily be close to a sister if you did have one.

@MatildaTheCat I am so sorry that your dear friend died.
I love my best friend as much if not more than my sister's.
It is a huge loss. 💐

In my family there are 2 sisters that detest each other so much I think they'd hurt one another if they were in the same room.

Very sad but c'est la vie. The grass is always greener etc etc...

Stop yer pity party lovey. There's many worse things to be upset about.

You can have mine. One is a bully and the other a narcissist.

My DH has 2 younger brothers and a sister. He is very close to his sister. He's never rude to her and they are good friends. Gender has nothing to do with it.

Your brother is the problem. But also an example of how having a sibling doesn't always work out.

'Many worse things to be upset about -
'
Oh don't worry.

A lot of other parts of my life are really bad too!

Eg my dad wasnt in my life at all, when i was a child. I went to see him when i was an adult. He told me that he didn't want to see ever me again.

Then later on, he killed himself.

I have four brothers and always wanted a sister! I know what you mean OP, having a brother is just not the same, the one word responses and lack of interest in their niece/nephews! A sister , i imagine would be a great help with the kids, days out etc. Now im mum to 3 sons and my one daughter longs for a sister (not going to happen!) x

I have a sister (and 2 brothers).

My sister is pathologically selfish and we're not close at all.

I for instance gave her a gift for each of her children's birth, she hasn't given me any gift when my children were born.

She very reluctantly gave some hand-me-downs for my son's birth because my mother said she should do it, but she demanded all of the clothes back.

Having a sister is no guarantee at all that you will have a close relationship.

I used want this too, like a built-in bestie - but life is complicated for many even with the greatest of up-bringings.
Your sister could be grabby, selfish , spoilt and lazy - lots of threads on here reflect this - look at the inheritance threads.

I think part of your loneliness is the fact your aunts seemingly don't need a relationship with you. To me that's quite cruel. They all sound a bit self absorbed.

Some brothers are interested in.neices and nephews. Your stereotyping.

I love my sister too and I'm glad I've got her . She's just 16 months younger than me. We're off on holiday together in summer 😍

Briannaco, I think many of us do dream of having strong family connections and I can completely understand why you would feel this particularly keenly. I hope that you will find such life-enhancing bonds in the future, perhaps coming from a direction you do not expect.

I have a sister and two brothers, I grew up close to my sister but now at a point she never asks how I am or have a clue what is going on in my life. I haven’t seen one brother in years and the other occasionally.

Yeah they're very close with each other. But theyre nor close to me . They never ask about my life.

Two of my aunts never really speak to me.

my other two aunts only ever text me occasionally, and it will always be about something to do with my mum. Not with me.

Eg when my mum had a fall one of my aunts texted me and said "keep me updated on your mum"

However she will never ask me about my life.

I'm genuinely sorry that life hasn't turned out the way you felt it should for you in terms of family.

Life can be hard. Everyone has a different journey and different battles to face.

However, you accuse your brother and mother of being quite self absorbed... Your post is filled with it! Many of us posters have had suffering in our lives. You don't have to take this advice but if I were you I'd get some support and try and move this huge level of self pity you seem to be carrying around with you.

Life is too short.

I mean my mother and brother are self absorbed in that if I ring them and talk to them, I always ask them about their lives. But they don't ask me about mine.

You're saying my thread is self absorbed? Well if anyone starts a thread to talk about their life, are they being self absorbed?

If we start a thread on here, we are talking about something in our lives

I feel your pain, and it’s so hard. I have brothers and they don’t give a toss for me - either barely speak to me or are so wrapped up in their own lives. I’ve wished for a sister my whole life. Thankfully, I have lovely girlfriends and have a daughter now who is the best wee friend I could have. Sending you a hug 🥰

I think you’re being a bit harsh. Isn’t MN there to support people when they need it? Get a grip and be kind, it’s not hard.

Fair enough. I could be misinterpreting it all and like I say, I am genuinely sorry for the way you feel regarding your family, life can be cruel and sad.

I just get a sense that you are wallowing in your own self pity and finding new things to get upset about but I could be wrong, and I'm sorry if I'm off the mark.

I have a sister and we hardly speak but I do wish I had what you describe, I am close to my brother but like yours he's not very chatty, I am super close to my sister in law though

No good relationship is guaranteed.

Having a sister also means that throughout life you are directly compared and likely to be at the same school. One will be prettier. It's just life so the other one will pick up on people saying this. One will be more sporty or more intelligent.

Plenty of sisters end up with complexes, highly competitive or just sulking through life because both of them think the other one was preferred by their parents.

Sibling relationships can be complex and change - even happy as kids fall out when they are older all the time over partners who don't get on with the sibling or sibling doesn't like or the death of a parent and who inherits what. It can be all over the shop.

My aunt killed my grandmother by giving her Covid and refused to give a full and opaque account of the estate. She made sure that she isolated my grandmother and controlled all her finances leaving her constantly worried about money. Surprisingly I do not talk to her and would actively cross the road or leave the store if I saw her.

Just because you have a sister does not mean that you will have a good relationship

Your post is not self absorbed at all.
Some pps just like to knock you down.
Your feelings are valid.
I, like others realise that I/they are lucky to have good sister's.

While you are not unreasonable, at least you know the reason you dont have a close sister relationship - you cant be close if they are non existent. I know plenty of people who dont have relationships with their sisters and it is really sad.