To wish I had a sister

[Briannaco]

My mum has four sisters. They've supported each other through every stage of life.

Now in their 60s and 70s, they all go for lunch together every two weeks. They all ring each other every week and tell each other what's been happening each week, and they support each other over the phone.

They are all close to each other. However my aunts are not like that to me. I think because they have so many nieces and nephews they are not really close to any of us.

But the five sisters themselves are close.

I have no sisters. I have one older brother. If I ring him and ask him any questions or ill try to chat to him, he will just reply with one word answers. He is very untalkative and unsupportive. He never asks me about my life. It's like having no one.

I just feel like life would be so much better having a sister and I feel sad ill never have one. My mum said that her friend was saying the same thing to her the other day. My mums friend has no sisters and she said that she'd love to have a sister.

My brother is fantastic. We talk loads, he's very involved and someone I know would always be there if I needed anything. It's down to personality, if he'd been a sister you likely would have the same relationship.
I'm actually glad I don't have a sister as the sister relationships I know seem slightly bitchy/competitive.

I'm really close to my brother. I don't have a sister but every woman I know who has a sister isn't close to their sister. It's nothing to do with gender. I'd say the connection between your mum and her sisters is very rare.

Haven't spoken to my sister for over 12 years and I couldn't be happier about it, she's a complete bitch and treated me like shit my entire life until I refused to put up with it anymore, you're not missing anything.

I can see why you'd feel like that in all honesty.

I have one sister and it's great...we go shopping together, hang out with our kids, go for coffee etc. It is like having a ready made friend.

I'll give you an example of what my brother is like.
He never rang me all year, except once when he wanted something. He never asks me about my life ever.

We live far away from each other at the moment.

We both went to my mums for Christmas day.it was the first time we'd seen each other in about three months We both stayed in my mums for two full days.

He sat in his bedroom the whole time. He only came out for his dinner (made by my mum) I asked him to come down and play a card game with us in the evening. I said "will you come down and talk to me for a bit I wont see you again for a long while".

He came down to the living room for about one hour total in two days, and sat looking at his phone. He ignored me the whole time. If I tried to talk to him I got one word answers.

@romdowa I often wonder how parents forge close healthy bonds between their children.

I might be wrong on this but the only cases of siblings who are really close to each other that I've ever met were the ones whose parents intentionally and with a great deal of effort cultivated that sort of relationship between them. Most parents, unfortunately, don't because they are just too busy just raising them. Different personalities and life in general get in the way later too and, to be honest, sometimes having siblings sometimes complicates things more than not having them.

For example, when someone in the family gets ill, there are often lots of arguments about who will do what. When someone dies, there are more arguments about all sorts of arrangements. And even when there are happy occasions such as weddings, anniversaries or just ordinary birthdays, people still manage to argue about this, that and the other!

In fact, I've just realised that I don't really know a single person who has great relationships with siblings!

My sister is four years older than me and has always hated me just for existing. I’d love to have had a sisterly bond with her but there was never any chance of that.
She even manipulated my mother into cutting me out of her will.

@Briannaco He never rang me all year, except once when he wanted something. He never asks me about my life ever.

May I ask how old he is and what your relationship was like when you were kids and teenagers?

He's two years older than me.

I guess when we were young kids we got on OK. But as teens he definitely got more sullen and rude.

As we became adults he's just got more and more kind of self absorbed. He never asks anyone else what they're doing in life.

He's just rude every time I see him

I understand where you’re coming from - I have a sister who is my best friend, I would hate to be without her. You do hear of many people who have a very poor relationship with their sisters though, so there are no guarantees.

I hope you have or can find friends who fulfil this desire for you ❤️

If you’re feeling the need for more supportive female friendships, that’s understandable, they are very important in my life.

But maybe stop idealising/imagining that you’d automatically have that with a sister? I have two of them, one is a total PITA and brings nothing to my life, one I feel close to but we only speak every few months/see each other every couple of years.

Youd be best off focusing your energy on building stronger friendships with others than looking for something more from your brother.

I feel the same

I just think it's cause I don't have much other family either.

I didn't have grandparents or a dad. My aunts wouldn't really be that interested in me either.
I have a mum. But I would have liked more family - like a sister, grandparents, dad etc.

Friends are good.

But sometimes I think that you really need family too

Yes!

It's lonely .

Especially when I look at some of my friends who are really really close with their sisters.

My mum (who cheerfully admits she only really wanted boys), was desperate for me to have more than one DD because... well, sisters.

My dsis and I rolled our eyes very hard at this, pointing out that she wasn't particularly close to her sister. We may have also pointed out just how much we fought.

I've got 2 sisters - one I get on with ok, the other one I've not spoken to for 15 years. I've got a couple of very close friends and I feel like they're family to me

I'm sorry to hear that your relationship with your brother is not what you want it to be.

I'm a woman. I don't have any sisters, but I'm happy to say that my brother is one of my best friends! We are close, very similar humour, and we can talk about most things. I love spending time with him.

Like previous posters have written, not all sisters are close.

I didn't have any grandparents at all either.

I feel like I was really lacking in family.

I would have loved to have a grandmother

Is he older or younger than you?

Out of interest

I agree with the majority of posters. Not all sister relationships are like your mum and her siblings.
My sister is the female version of your brother.

My sister is a cowbag who bitches about everyone and managed to turn my folks against me.

My brother is awesome though.

I haven't spoken to my sister in 5 years

Every woman I know who has a sister is close to them.

There is no guarantee but most people I know with sister or girl cousins tend to be closer than those with brothers.

I have a sister, there’s a 7 year age gap and we’re not close at all. We didn’t fall out we just have nothing in common and very little to talk about. I’m closer to my brother who is 15 months older than me.