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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Making a slight bag rustling sound in a fast food restaurant

253 replies

Augustinian · 22/01/2025 07:08

My DH and I are on holiday. We were doing some shopping and fancied a break so stopped at a fast food restaurant as it was the easiest option (this is a busy spot). This country is his favourite country by the way, he wants to live here (we live in the UK). So we sat down, it’s busy but not quite full and we find a table. On one side is a man sitting on his own using his phone. While we wait for our food, I begin to take out a phone bag I had purchased as we are constantly having to use our phones for the train and I don’t have good pockets so it’s been quite a hassle getting it in and out. I want to get it ready for the journey home. The plastic shopping bag is making a slight rustling sound as I rummage around in it. The fast food place is full of chatting people, people unwrapping their food, etc, not exactly a museum or library atmosphere. As I’m reaching into the shopping bag to put the rubbish from the bag in it after unwrapping the phone bag, the bag rustles again. He gives me and then the bag a disgusted nasty look. He’s not a confrontational person so I’ve learned to read his facial expressions quite well after being married 10 years, and this one was clearly ‘you’re being loud and annoying and embarrassing me in front of my favourite country’s people by making too much noise’. I got pretty pissed about this (not loudly, I moved away from him to an empty seat and ate on my own). I have refused to travel back with him to the hotel and told him I won’t go back with him so to just finish his meal and leave. I’m now sat here wondering if I’ve over reacted but it really pissed me off. I do realise this is not a massive deal but it just made me feel a bit shit.

OP posts:
MinnieBalloon · 22/01/2025 07:11

So he thought you were being loud, didn’t even say anything and you freaked out and made a scene by going and sitting on your own and then going back to the hotel without him?

Yeah, you overreacted. That’s insane.

festivemouse · 22/01/2025 07:12

Sounds like a huge over reaction.

He didn't actually say anything?

You ate sat away from him? Refused to travel home together?

Honestly way OTT.

Eenameenadeeka · 22/01/2025 07:12

Sounds like a massive overreaction to me.

Changingplace · 22/01/2025 07:13

Why didn’t you ask him why he was pulling a face instead of assuming all of this? It all sounds like a bit of a non incident blown out of proportion.

TCCOS · 22/01/2025 07:13

I initially thought he’d said “you are loud etc” but actually that was all in your head. Weird overreaction from you, op.

Slothy22 · 22/01/2025 07:14

I can understand your annoyance but now it’s turned into a big deal over a petty thing.
You should have just told him to put his face straight.

BogRollBOGOF · 22/01/2025 07:14

Learn to talk to each other.

TheSeagullsSquawk · 22/01/2025 07:15

This is very difficult to make any comment on as you had an argument with no conversation. So the usual bit where 'he meant/I meant' is - is even more difficult than usual.

From the outside you look like a loon. You refused to eat with or travel with DH because he looked at you funny.

But you know your relationship and if that's his way of putting you down and controlling you maybe not unreasonable. But this won't improve unless you can talk to each other with actual words and some good faith.

LostMyLanyard · 22/01/2025 07:16

Good lord! You MASSIVELY overreacted here 🤦‍♀️🤣

PotaytoPotahhto · 22/01/2025 07:16

Completely irrational response and huge overreaction.

InkHeart2024 · 22/01/2025 07:17

Obviously you've overreacted. Goodness me.

Lightswitchup · 22/01/2025 07:17

It all sounds very over dramatic on the face of it but as op says, you know your own relationship. But it does sound as if there is something wrong within your relationship that needs sorting out with better communication.

TwentyTwentyFive · 22/01/2025 07:18

I can't believe the level of overreaction here. You have essentially made up this entire scenario in your head, posted a thread and created a huge scene over him looking to see what you were doing...

Bonkers doesn't even begin to cover it!

Augustinian · 22/01/2025 07:18

He would never verbalise ‘you’re loud’ ‘you’re embarrassing me’ etc, he’s extremely passive aggressive and completely non confrontational, which is how I’ve learned to read his silent reactions so well over the years.

I am open to having over reacted.

OP posts:
OzCalling · 22/01/2025 07:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Augustinian · 22/01/2025 07:19

I can’t get a good grasp on whether I’ve over reacted if the responses are based on me having made it up in my head, because that isn’t the reality of the situation. So that’s a bit frustrating as I want to gauge this on what happened.

OP posts:
Augustinian · 22/01/2025 07:20

I guess the take home is our relationship dynamic is so weird no one can fathom this being real.

OP posts:
reichs79 · 22/01/2025 07:21

Major over reaction!

GrannyWeasel · 22/01/2025 07:21

‘you’re being loud and annoying and embarrassing me in front of my favourite country’s people by making too much noise’.

You got all this from a facial expression?

toomuchfaff · 22/01/2025 07:22

MinnieBalloon · 22/01/2025 07:11

So he thought you were being loud, didn’t even say anything and you freaked out and made a scene by going and sitting on your own and then going back to the hotel without him?

Yeah, you overreacted. That’s insane.

Nails it.

He’s not a confrontational person so I’ve learned to read his facial expressions quite well after being married 10 years

do you provide the narrative for both sides all the time? Has he ever actually confirmed your thoughts about something, or is he just a passenger?

SoScarletItWas · 22/01/2025 07:22

Whilst I am cackling at the notion that you have offended AN ENTIRE NATION OF PEOPLE, your DH was a knob and you massively overreacted. Both of you, frankly.

But clearly you have Rustled and cannot now return to this country, never mind move there.

What a ridiculous fuss over nothing.

Coriol · 22/01/2025 07:23

Augustinian · 22/01/2025 07:20

I guess the take home is our relationship dynamic is so weird no one can fathom this being real.

He had a mildly irritated expression when you were rustling a bag in a MacDonalds, and you flounced off to another table and ate solo and told him you were going back to the hotel by yourself?

TwentyTwentyFive · 22/01/2025 07:23

Augustinian · 22/01/2025 07:19

I can’t get a good grasp on whether I’ve over reacted if the responses are based on me having made it up in my head, because that isn’t the reality of the situation. So that’s a bit frustrating as I want to gauge this on what happened.

But it is all made up and in your head. You gave a look a whole narrative, all he did was look at you.

pinkdelight · 22/01/2025 07:23

Okay so just grasp that clearly you have overreacted. It's childish to stomp off and be mardy like that over a look that would've passed in a second if you'd let it. You made a big deal of it and spoiled a nice thing by making yourself the victim of a drama. Stop prizing yourself on these face reading skills and communicate.

Dillythedallyduck · 22/01/2025 07:23

Some harsh responses here, I've been in a relationship where I was controlled by constant silent disapproval. It's honestly so stressful and you reach boiling point because there's never any outlet or argument where you can get your point across orso you internalise it all. Then eventually explode and get called a drama queen.

Is something like that going on here Op?
How is your relationship generally?