People making plans with my unborn child!

[NewMumsFirstRodeo]

FTM - 38 weeks pregnant - so ALOT of this may be down to pregnancy hormones!

First grandchild on both sides so of course everyone is very excited.

I live directly across from my parents in a small cul-de-sac, and they have purchased their own pram. I told them there was no need as we already have one however all I have heard is 'we want our own pram'. They didn't even ask for my input on the type of pram they bought, or if I was happy with their choice (FWIW I wasn't). Just they wanted a pram so went and spent £200 on one. I've also been told they plan to buy a 'running pram', both avid runners and plan to take the baby to local races etc.

MIL lives 2 hours away and has bought a bassinet and diaper bag etc 'for when the baby stays with me'.

I know everyone means well, and we will appreciate all the support that's given to us, but AIBU to want everyone to stop making plans with my baby who isn't even here yet?!

I just want to get my child here safely and spend some time with my husband adjusting to parenthood and then for us to decide who can do what with our child. I feel so overwhelmed with these assumptions that everyone will have access to my child to with how they please!

First baby by any chance? 🙄
Most people would be grateful that they have loving relatives who are excited to welcome their baby into the family. Not everyone has the support network that you undoubtedly are going to have. If you don't want them using the (completely normal) things they've bought for your baby, then don't ask them to babysit either.

Are they usually overbearing in your life before pregnancy? If so, maybe that’s why it’s bothering you so much. If it’s really upsetting you just tell them gently - on the plus side sounds like you have great support on hand from both parents and MIL

im expecting my first and both mine and my partners parents live 7 hour drive away, I definitely wouldn’t want them living across the road but having your relatives close by is something to not take for granted :)

I'm going to post again because I can't believe there are people saying this is overreacting to be upset by this, 'threads like this...' etc !!

Of course FTM are clueless and of course we need and value the support we get from DGPs (my ILs still drive me nuts but I'm still grateful for the babysitting, both are possible) ... But surely the normal way for new grandparents to act towards said vulnerable clueless ftm is not like excited children on Christmas morning?!

It's literally basic social awareness and I can't think of any other situation where it would be appropriate to act so ecstatic and eager when the other person is so obviously physically uncomfortable, hormonal, scared, going thru a major life change, etc.

Fwiw most of my friends parents and my own mum were in the main lovely and obviously well intentioned altho of course everyone's annoying sometimes, but when I relate some of my experiences with in laws whilst pregnant , to my friends, IRL, NOT on a Mumsnet thread, they are aghast.

So these people absolutely do exist but yes of course are in the minority. And I consider myself a pretty balanced sensible person who's not easily annoyed tbh.

One gem from FIL was "if you so much as think about lifting that I'll put you across my knee and slap your bottom" , shouted in front of the whole family, about a not particularly heavy box I was about to lift into the car, and yes he was deadly serious and quite cross, it was all very awkward.

Made to feel like an incubator is right.

Edited to add that I also bought second hand and didn't do tons of research into equipment for my first baby, he does all sorts with dgp's now, I don't think I'm 'precious' at all. It just really was a weird way to act towards someone pregnant with their first baby.