To be upset with my boyfriend over this ?

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Hi I 25 f have been with my partner 37m for 4 years now. We’ve both been so busy at work apart from a couple days off at Christmas and it was our first weekend together.

This morning we were on the sofa watching telly and I went to hug him. He said ‘ergh great are you gonna hug me again and kiss me - it’s getting really annoying’ I got up made a tea and went upstairs to our bedroom I was upset. But didn’t show it.

I got a text from Royal Mail saying they’d delivered a gift I got for him. I purchased it last week because I wanted to treat him. It was a big bag of his favourite pick n mix. Anyway I went to get it as they’d left it outside and I came in and said that I’d got him these and he said ‘well it’s not even my birthday , have I had all my birthday presents now? , great’

This may be childish but I just burst into tears and quickly went back upstairs. He followed me up and saw me crying and said ‘Actually do you know what I can’t be bleeped to make you feel better I’m going out for a cigarette and a walk I need space from you, you’re a joke’

I’m really upset I don’t know what to think. He always says he loves me usually and that he’s so happy but now I feel like it’s a lie and I feel he’s secretly always annoyed at me or I get under his skin as he just completely changed today.

Also I never mention this to him but I also see no sign of a proposal . I thought after 4 years he would have thought about it but nothing. I never ask him about marriage or proposals but I have found myself thinking about it. He usually seems really happy with me. He is quite a cold man until you get to know him and then he has a softer side.

Any advice ? I feel sad 😭

thank you xx

My advice is to dump him and raise your standards next time - he's a nasty bastard and I'm sure you can do far, far better.

I assume this hasn’t come out of nowhere. What prompted this behaviour?

Come on, OP - he's treating you like shit on his shoes, surely you can see that a proposal from this tosser is the last thing you should be looking for. Get out, and find someone who respects you.

Why would you want a proposal from a man who doesn't like being with you? Please get out of this.

Please find some self worth and leave him.

If you want to be married to this unpleasant man, why are you waiting for a proposal? Why don’t you just tell him that’s what you want? Don’t be passive about your own life. If he is not giving you what you need, go find someone who can.

He’s a selfish arsehole, and rude with it. You are a young woman, don’t waste any more time on him.

I think he’s trying to check out of the relationship and being unpleasant to you is his way of forcing a confrontation.

He's a knob. If you got together at 21 I assume you don't have any other healthy, loving relationships to compare it to. Leave him and raise your bar.

He sounds very immature. You sound a great person - find somebody who treats you better.

Dump and run. You deserve a lot better than this.

There is quite a big age difference. And it seems like you were pretty young when you got together.

You have your whole life ahead of you. Whether you are just not compatible, it’s the age difference or he’s just a grumpy shit I would say cut your losses and leave. Don’t settle for this. Trust me. I settled. Regret it now.

He’s not that into you. Throw this one back. You’re a thoughtful person who deserves reciprocation.

Oh for fuck’s sake—you can do better than this wanker. He is an old, cigarette smoking, arse who targeted a naive 21 year old and now sees no need for romance, or even courtesy. Take it from someone in a 35 year relationship, 30 years very happily married, at four years in he should still be passionate about you and eager for your kisses and hugs and kindness. Hell at 35 years in he should be! My dh is!

Dont worry about what you are doing—recognize that this is the best he can offer and its NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Move out. You can find a better man when you have lived alone long enough and matured enough to puck better.

Your boyfriend doesn’t even like you let alone love you. End it.

I am not being flippant. I’m older than you and I know what this behaviour means. There’s nothing here to save.

Why would you want to marry this absolute cunt.

I wouldn’t talk to my worst enemy the way he talked to you.

Why would you want to marry someone who dislikes you? Marriage is hard enough when two people love each other and are kind to eachother.

If you can't discuss who with him without him flouncing off this isn't a man I'd consider marrying anyway. Dump his sorry arse.

I'm so sorry that you have to put up with this nasty behaviour. If you did an honest plus and minus list of being in this relationship, how would it look?
Personally I would leave, but what would the financials look like if you did? Could you
stay with a friend whilst you're sorting yourself out?

He doesn't sound like good marriage material to me.

This with bells on

At this stage of my life, I'd just dump him for the fag breath to be honest.

He sounds awful. He’s not a cold man until you get to know him - he’s cold. Full stop. More than that, he’s openly TELLING you he finds your attention, affection and thoughtful gifts annoying. It’s unlikely to get better. This is not what a good relationship looks like nor is this kind of behaviour your responsibility to coach him out of. Raise your standards and move on from this guy. Don’t waste any more time, thought or money on him.

Why are you with this unfeeling arse.
Dump him you are worth so much more.

He doesn't like you op. His actions are telling you this. Leave him and raise your standards

Dump and stay single until someone who actually likes and respects you comes along.

He is a crap boyfriend and is wasting your precious time.