To be upset with my boyfriend over this ?

[Fairydustapplecrumble]

Hi I 25 f have been with my partner 37m for 4 years now. We’ve both been so busy at work apart from a couple days off at Christmas and it was our first weekend together.

This morning we were on the sofa watching telly and I went to hug him. He said ‘ergh great are you gonna hug me again and kiss me - it’s getting really annoying’ I got up made a tea and went upstairs to our bedroom I was upset. But didn’t show it.

I got a text from Royal Mail saying they’d delivered a gift I got for him. I purchased it last week because I wanted to treat him. It was a big bag of his favourite pick n mix. Anyway I went to get it as they’d left it outside and I came in and said that I’d got him these and he said ‘well it’s not even my birthday , have I had all my birthday presents now? , great’

This may be childish but I just burst into tears and quickly went back upstairs. He followed me up and saw me crying and said ‘Actually do you know what I can’t be bleeped to make you feel better I’m going out for a cigarette and a walk I need space from you, you’re a joke’

I’m really upset I don’t know what to think. He always says he loves me usually and that he’s so happy but now I feel like it’s a lie and I feel he’s secretly always annoyed at me or I get under his skin as he just completely changed today.

Also I never mention this to him but I also see no sign of a proposal . I thought after 4 years he would have thought about it but nothing. I never ask him about marriage or proposals but I have found myself thinking about it. He usually seems really happy with me. He is quite a cold man until you get to know him and then he has a softer side.

Any advice ? I feel sad 😭

thank you xx

You are incompatible. You're needy and he's unpleasant about it.

Eww, the cigarette smoking...

YABU if you didn't tell him to go for his walk and just keep bloody walking!

He's a prick. You deserve better.

What the fuck do you want to marry this waste of space for?

He doesn't appear to even like you, never mind love you.

His response to a gift is 'ugh so this means I won't get another gift later on' not 'thankyou, how lovely'...

He pushes you away, because kisses and cuddles are annoying (and you're not doing daft stuff like trying to kiss him when he's concentrating on something...)...

This is not a functional relationship, throw entire man away. Start again.

I put YABU for even thinking of anything other than dumping his ancient arse.

@outerspacepotato shes needy for trying to cuddle him and buying him a treat? lmao what

@Fairydustapplecrumble he’s cheating or thinking about cheating and he’s trying to tell himself that he has reasons to by turning against you. Dump his loser ass.

Yup.

With kindness, he isn't the one
If he wanted to marry you, he would bring it up, or just get on with it
I hope things get better for you soon

Why would you want to spend the rest of your life this way OP? Why would you want a proposal from this man? He sounds horrible and you should speak to a therapist about why you need his opinion of you to determine your own worth. This situation is absolutely wrong, no wonder you're having doubts. Leave.

You did something really thoughtful for him as a nice surprise, which would no doubt not detract from his b day gifts (how immature of him to worry about that at his age) and he swore at you and left the house.

Dump him. He's not nice and too old for you. If you want kids at some point, his sperm might be not so great with his age and the smoking. (Speaking from personal experience here.)

The fact that he smokes shows that he is an idiot.

There is a large age difference and he is turning in to a grumpy old man already so please dump him asap.

Your BF is a Grade A asshat and it sounds like he’s checking out of the relationship. Lucky you. I’d be dumping him stat to save him the bother.

Please do yourself a favour and leave this man. You can do so much better than him. He doesn’t deserve you.

He's a horrible dick. Don't waste any more of your young life. This boyo is never going to commit and that's best for you anyway!

How is kissing your partner "needy"? Catch a grip!

Only read page 1, and it’s probably been said, but he’s most likely lined up a younger model and is being nasty to you because he hasn’t got the balls to end the relationship himself, so will be a cunt til you either kick off or leave, and then he can play the victim.
The causing a row then storming out is textbook, he will be straight on the phone to the OW.
Get out OP, and chalk this one up to experience.
youre in the prime of your life, don’t waste it on this scumbag.

You’re a 25yo with your life ahead of you and plenty of time to meet someone decent; he’s an arsehole who is rapidly approaching 40. Do not marry and have a family with this man. You can do better.

A basic requirement for being in a relationship with someone is that they’re nice to you. They don’t have to be soppy or bringing you flowers every week, or making huge, public declarations of love, but they can’t actively be an arsehole. And he’s not meeting the basic levels here. Even if he’s feeling a bit smothered and like he’s needing some space, there are far less cruel ways to do it than how he has done it; manufacturing an argument and then walking away.

If he’s normally nice, but has suddenly changed, then something has obviously triggered this. I think I can probably hazard a guess at what it is, but I think you need to be concentrating on the fact that he isn’t a decent man and he isn’t good enough for you. He’s certainly not good enough to marry.

The lack of a proposal is the least of your problems. Unless you have form for being cloyingly needy, your partner is a bit of a pig and you could certainly find someone better.

Why on earth would you want a proposal from a man like that? He treats you really badly. You can see that, can't you?

What was your childhood like, OP? Did your parents treat you badly, too? It looks as though you're used to someone not putting you first.

I think what you should do is to leave him. You deserve so much better and you're really young - it's a great time to be single for a while.

Note he'll probably propose to you if you say you're leaving. Hold firm on that - he won't change. He might apologise. He'll almost certainly cry. What he won't do is change. This is who he is and any memories of the nice guy he was at the beginning should be forgotten - he was faking it so that you'd fall for him.

With kindness, get some standards! Dump his ass.

This seems like a black and white situation, as you've told it.
He's gone off you, why would you want to drag this farce on?
He's a ticket to plummeting self-esteem and knocking yourself out for nothing.
He couldn't possibly expect you to take this overtly crap behaviour from him?
He wants a confrontation, then he'll suggest he, or you, leave the relationship.
Be one up on him and dump the ungrateful cold excuse for a bf.
You can do better, either with someone else, or on your own.

He's a dick, leave him. He's way too old anyway. Find someone young, fun and gorgeous to have a great time with.

WHY would you want to marry a man like that, OP?!

He's selfish and has a nasty streak.

You're so young. Dump the miserable shit off and go find a more emotionally intelligent man.

He's not going to miraculously change into a supportive partner. He's showing you what he is. Take note and RUN.

He's a ticket to plummeting self-esteem and knocking yourself out for nothing.

THIS, times a thousand!!

Being single is better than that, OP.

Dear God. Sometimes on here the bar for men is so low. Just to repeat, OP - please leave this man, you are worth more than this.