To be upset with my boyfriend over this ?

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Hi I 25 f have been with my partner 37m for 4 years now. We’ve both been so busy at work apart from a couple days off at Christmas and it was our first weekend together.

This morning we were on the sofa watching telly and I went to hug him. He said ‘ergh great are you gonna hug me again and kiss me - it’s getting really annoying’ I got up made a tea and went upstairs to our bedroom I was upset. But didn’t show it.

I got a text from Royal Mail saying they’d delivered a gift I got for him. I purchased it last week because I wanted to treat him. It was a big bag of his favourite pick n mix. Anyway I went to get it as they’d left it outside and I came in and said that I’d got him these and he said ‘well it’s not even my birthday , have I had all my birthday presents now? , great’

This may be childish but I just burst into tears and quickly went back upstairs. He followed me up and saw me crying and said ‘Actually do you know what I can’t be bleeped to make you feel better I’m going out for a cigarette and a walk I need space from you, you’re a joke’

I’m really upset I don’t know what to think. He always says he loves me usually and that he’s so happy but now I feel like it’s a lie and I feel he’s secretly always annoyed at me or I get under his skin as he just completely changed today.

Also I never mention this to him but I also see no sign of a proposal . I thought after 4 years he would have thought about it but nothing. I never ask him about marriage or proposals but I have found myself thinking about it. He usually seems really happy with me. He is quite a cold man until you get to know him and then he has a softer side.

Any advice ? I feel sad 😭

thank you xx

At best you have different ideas of intimacy and thoughtfulness. At worst he's a horrible, nasty little arsehole. I'm leaning towards the latter.

You deserve better.

I agree.

What they all said, but what worries me in your post is that you list how awful he is, and how contemptuous his behaviour towards you is, but still imply you’re waiting for him to propose???

You’d be completely mad to marry this man. Marrying him would be like self-harm.Your life will be so much better without him.

Trust me, there is someone better out there that will treat you how you deserve to be treated. This man doesn't deserve you.

I voted UABU -
unreasonable to want anything to do with this arse let alone want to marry him.

Leave! Seriously.

I don't think he likes you hun

Something I learned from my marriage: Never put a man ( or anyone) on a pedestal. A man will sense this and in my case begin to take the piss . We were young and madly in love . I asked him why he began to take the piss and he said " Because I could you let me " . He also used weaponised incompetence. He only shaped up when I started to make noises about shipping out and I stopped wiping his arse . That was then he began to respect me again . Get tough OP .

So you were 21 and him 33 when you started dating? Your frontal cortex doesn't finish developing until you are 25. Hopefully you can see things more clearly now. Dump this loser and move on with your life.

Bin him off.

He doesn't like you

Your starter relationship has run it's course and rather than end it, he's being horrible so you will have to. You really have your whole life ahead of you, don't put up with it!

He’s treating you like shit. He will continue to do so if you let him. Find some self worth, and dump this unpleasant individual. You are worth more than this, you are so young and have your whole life ahead of you. Don’t waste it on someone who does not deserve you.

Raise your bar and get rid of this vile creature.

You sound like a lovely person op, and dont deserve to be treated like this

It sounds like he doesn’t much like you.

He’s a lot older than you (although what grown arse man eats pick & mix?) and you don’t sound very compatible.

Don’t waste your youth with him.

Do not waste the best years of your life with this bloke!

You’re 25. This nasty cunt is nearly 40. He was creeping after you when you were 20/21, barely out of teens, and he was mid 30s. Gross.

Adding that to the fact that he’s horrible to you and negs you… why would you want to be tied for this for the rest of your life?

I bet he’s controlling too.

Dump this horrible specimen, he’s revolting, and be alone for a while. Then find someone nice and decent.

Your relationship is over and it seems like it’s for the best. Bin him. You can do this 💪

LTB

You’re 27. You have your life ahead of you. Life it without this twat, it will be infinitely better for dumping him now. Don’t wait.

Me too. Yuk.

25

Stop being sad, stop crying, and find you ANGER.

How DARE he speak to you like that!
Just who the HELL does he think he is?!

Anger will help you find the energy to move out.

Go anywhere - friends sofa, family, find lodgings or a house share, or get an Air B&B for three months.
Put your stuff in storage if you have furniture you want to keep, or just pack some bags and GO.
LEAVE the abusive bastard.

He sounds hateful. If this is new behaviour then perhaps he’s feeling guilty about something, or trying to goad you into leaving.

Get out of there while you still have your youth, leave that slimeball in the dust. There’s a reason why he didn’t want a partner his own age.

It hardly needs repeating after all the wise words from other posters- but leave.

You’re 25! You have your whole life ahead of you, and it’s a great age to meet someone new.

also, don’t expect a proposal from this guy. He was mid 30’s when he met you and was chasing after 21 year olds. That’s not the behaviour of someone looking to settle down or have a life partner.

I’m sure you’re lovely, and young and great fun, but he probably also got together with you because you wouldn’t be expecting serious commitment for years.

Get out OP. If this is new behaviour after 4 years then something has changed and I'd bet there's someone else in the background.

Aside from that, for your next relationship, don't be so passive over marriage. If that and possibly kids is what you want, find someone with the same goals. You might not marry the next one but be with someone who is on the same page. Waiting for a proposal is a weak way to behave.