I realised too late I don’t like parenting

[ThatCleverFawn]

I’m sure I’ll be judged to beyond but gearing up the enthusiasm to do yet another day of it is destroying me.

What age are your kids?

It can be a relentless old slog, parenting. But some ages are much harder and more exhausting than others. It’s ok not to love it - loving your kids (essential) is not the same as loving parenting (often difficult).

I hope things improve for you with time.

Does thier father do his share?

It's a myth that it's wonderful 24/7.
But you should find some moments of joy amongst the grind!
If your mood is low all the time maybe go see your GP?

There's a lot not to like about parenting. How old are kid/s?

Thanks. They’re 4 and 1. One doesn’t sleep well and so I’m just tired all the time. Just long for a day of doing nothing.

Yeah, lots of people feel like that! It's a lot of work and drudgery.... although there are the special happy moments too.

How old is your DC?

Oh I see 4 and 1. Those are exhausting ages! Things will get easier.

It will get better OP once they sleep better and you have more energy. It’s hard work at that age. They can’t even okay together but they will eventually.

At this moment in time I’m right there with you OP

Yes the days often feel very very long. I always tried to get out in the morning and try to wear them out.. park or soft play and then home to hopefully have a quieter afternoon. Once they're both in primary school, things feel so much easier

You're in the trenches OP. 3 and 1 with mine nearly killed me and that was with a DH who was just as exhausted involved as I was.

You don't enjoy parenting little ones. You may well love parenting them as they grow up. My youngest is 4 now and much as they try my patience, it's a thousand times easier.

Mine are 9months and 5! I feel you!!!
9 month old does not sleep!
I have just gone back to work which is exhausting it also breaking up the monotonous routine!
Only thing that really helps me is going outside! Which is fine when the weather is good!
It's -5 at the moment so that's painful for all involved!!!

Yeah it’s 90% drudgery isn’t it.

Take them swimming, it will tire them out and is cheap. Then park the older one in front of the tv with some colouring and put the youngest in cot for a nap so you get two hours to do something you need to do yourself whether that’s cooking, hoovering, or sitting with a coffee and a book.

Anyone who enjoys this stage is a sadist. I'm joshing, but seriously OP now is not the best measure for what parenting is like in the long haul. It's a slog. I hated it. I have teens now, and enjoy parenting (on the whole!) I think I relaxed and started to enjoy parenting more regularly probably around the time youngest was 3 or 4 with it getting progressively easier after that point. And I like teens, don't care what anyone else on here says about them!

So don't panic, it won't be like this forever!!

Yes a lot of it is a long hard slog. Endless cooking, cleaning, shopping, school runs, juggling work and home or days at home occupying your kids, nappies, feeding, after-school clubs, holiday clubs. We need to be more honest about this. Parenting is hard work. People should have had opportunity to find out more about the realities of parenting.

It's much easier with a supportive partner, adequate housing and surplus money.

Some phases are harder than others.

If you are down all the time though, see your GP about depression.

I have only just started feeling more positive about parenting and my youngest turned 6 in December. I say only just - I still find it hard and relentless but nothing like the horror of the pre-school years. When they go to school it’s a game changer. Don’t get me wrong - little ones are super sweet but they are a tough gig and you do lose yourself in the exhausting early stages. But it does……….eventually, pass. Not all at once mins - bit by bit and then you start getting snippets of your life back.

The reason no-one tells you how hard parenting is, is because they worry they might put you off with the unvarnished truth. I realise that now with hindsight.

I think people do try to tell you but for me I thought it would be different, Christ knows why!

But my point is, you are not alone x All mums feel like shit and if they tell you they don’t they’re most likely on antidepressants

Does anyone enjoy parenting kids of this age in January?

I’m half joking but seriously OP, this shit is hard. You’re doing amazingly from the trenches. Things will only get betterrrrr…

@merediththethird god yes that's a good point, age is one thing, but the time of the year is a factor too!!

I don't like a lot of parenting either OP and I have one super easy 8yro.

I've surprised myself by not liking the doing bits very much - school run, homework, snacks / meals, dentist trips

I do like her though and there is a light at the end of the tunnel when they are a bit more independent and still fun and into being with you. Also - long game - it will be great to have adult DC I think.

Mine are almost 6 and almost 3, and the last few months things have changed massively. They're now very enjoyable to be around, good company (for the most part, they still whine and neither sleeps through or alone yet...). But there is a light in the distance. I couldn't have imagined it being so much nicer and more manageable even 6 months ago.

Literally crap ages.

5-10 is a lovely time

Teens are awful but different awful.

@Bippityboppitybooo to be fair my four year old alone is very easy. And so I’m hoping my younger one will be aged four too. But together they are very hard work.

I’ve been a parent for nearly 30 years and my youngest is 9. Honestly for me it doesn’t get ok until they are at least 9/10 or so. Young children suck. It’s a hard treadmill sprint interspersed with moments where you can stop for a quick drink of water (those moments of joy people talk about). And they are just moments. Parenting is basically drudgery in my experience.
I adore my kids. They know I love them, I tell them constantly. But parenting is not great. It’s marketed as such otherwise most wouldn’t do it. Now the truth is coming out and the birth rate is dropping. What a surprise!