To think it isn't my responsibility to provide period products for adult dd.

[Mairzydotes]

I don't know if this my hormones talking, but I've just been in the bathroom and there are no pads left because my nearly 20 year old dd has used them all. I put those there for me.

My dd works , and I don't think it's my responsibility to provide them for her anymore.

@Mounjarry

Why shouldn't she buy loo roll if it's running low? I guess OP is bored of being the one in the house making sure there's enough of everything when there are other adults
Yes of course she should but as creatures of habit, it's not at all uncommon for offspring to just carry on as it's always been. It takes something called communication to move relationships along.

Yes she's an adult but it's nit as if you turn 18 or 19 age then suddenly wisdom and common sense falls upon you. Jesus I know plenty of 50 year old that still lack critical thinking and can behave rather randomly.

OP you just need to explain that as a working adult she needs to contribute. She either needs to pay to at least cover her cost to you or more if you prefer rent. But at the least she should be paying you an amount to cover her living with you and that would cover a portion of utilities, food, toiletries and cleaning products. It won't be massive probably £70 a week would cover things or make it £100 then you won't feel bitter

And how do you do that when you're sitting on the loo staring at the empty spot where your pad stash usually is?

Of course you’re being unreasonable, and quite callous too actually.
It’s a fucking sanitary pad, a necessity. And unless you’ve actually had a conversation with your daughter stating you won’t be providing them anymore, then why would she assume anything has changed?
Your reaction and attitude isn’t normal. You’re a mother. That doesn’t change because she’s 20.

Life is too short to be bothered that much or make a big issue. Just stash them somewhere private in future if you are bothered. If I was your daughter I would have used them too if they were kept in the bathroom.

You can get pads for 42p a pack at tesco. Put some in the cupboard and don't get petty.

YABU
My 20 year old dd still lives at home, in my bathroom there is a drawer with pads and tampons for her, her sister and me to use.
It's never occurred to me to ask her to buy her own, she should have told you she'd used the last one though.

YABU because from your updates it sounds as if you haven't even spoken to your DD about this. How is she supposed to know if you don't tell her?

A basic to provide for guests? I don't use pads so wouldn't have any.

Re the OP, I wouldn't be annoyed at supplying them for DD (if I had one) but I wouldn't be happy if she'd taken the last one and not told me or replaced it. It's basic manners, the same as not using up the last of the toilet roll.

I will buy period products for my DD as long as she lives at home. Can you not bulk buy from amazon?

I have always considered personal items, like sanitary wear, condoms, lub, cosmetics etc as personal and I would expect my adult kids to buy their own.
But...has she ever bought her own? Have you told her the expectation.

Regardless, I think you are right to be peeved she used the last one, that was really inconsiderate of her....in the same way as using the last loo roll would be.

I think this is a combination of your hormones talking and going to use something to find none there, which is always annoying regardless of product or age of kids. I'd replenish the bathroom stock, keep some emergency ones in my room, and ask dd, nicely, to pick some up when she's next shopping.

I keep my toilet at work stocked for my staff with san pro, deodorant, paracetamol etc but it is annoying when no one mentions they've used the last of something

You sound bitter and pissed off at doing all the family life admin Don't take it out on her.

Oops.. wrong thread

I keep the downstairs loo stocked for anyone who visits to use, I really can’t imagine begrudging dd using them. In my mind it’s the same at loo roll, you wouldn’t expect visitors to provide their own.

Obviously she thinks they're there to be used by anyone just like the soap, shower gel, toothpaste. People share toothpaste???

If she works and doesn’t pay board you’re sending a message that she’s entitled to everything free.
Electricity, water, food, toiletries will just magically be there for her.
She’s 20, my dc paid board in his gap year.
Teach her that a happy well run home relies on everyone contributing.

I most certainly would expect visitors to provide their own sanpro!

Why wouldn't you?

I get it OP

You don't mind them using things but would it hurt them to replace the items or let you know more are needed.

DS does this with food and he is on a good salary

Kindly, I think this is your hormones speaking and I wouldn't raise it while you feel like this as I don't think it's going to come out well.

When you feel calmer perhaps worth having a chat about contributing to household expenses now she's working. You could specify that that includes food, basic toiletries and bills.

I hear you on not wanting to be responsible for what everyone else needs. That must apply to food/basic toiletries generally? Perhaps a share shopping list would help? If you have an Alexa it's easy to say "Alexa add pads without wings to my shopping list" and then it's all there for whoever does the shopping when needed.

I wouldn't share toothpaste because the tube has been smeared on to a toothbrush that has been in someone else's mouth. I might share DH's on holiday. If a guest forgot theirs, I'd offer them a new unused tube out of stock.

I shouldn't have to anticipate what she will need and when.

I'll help you with that OP. She'll need approx 4-6 days worth and she'll need it once a month.

Good grief, I now need to sit down under the weight of the giant mental load that I took on thinking about that!

(Surely each month when you/whoever does the family grocery shop buys yours, hers are bought too. It really doesn't take any thinking about, and really isn't some huge job. Of course she should have let whoever does the grocery shop know that they had run out though).

Wow. My mum just used to stock the bathroom cupboard. It's not that hard is it?

I don't smear the tube around my toothbrush. DH shared the same toothpaste for years until I got a sensitive tooth and I've never given it a thought.

We don't have overnight guests (one advantage of a one bedroom flat) so I don't need to provide toothpaste for anyone else.

It's not hard for DD to say she's used the last pad either.