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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it isn't my responsibility to provide period products for adult dd.

272 replies

Mairzydotes · 10/01/2025 12:47

I don't know if this my hormones talking, but I've just been in the bathroom and there are no pads left because my nearly 20 year old dd has used them all. I put those there for me.

My dd works , and I don't think it's my responsibility to provide them for her anymore.

OP posts:
SevenWeeks · 10/01/2025 12:48

Don't, then. Keep them somewhere else.

rubyslippers · 10/01/2025 12:49

Are you begrudging your DD using period products?!
maybe she should have said she’d used the last one but I’d assume and this is what I do with my DD, is that the period products in the bathroom are for both of us to use
unless there’s a massive back story YABU

flipent · 10/01/2025 12:49

Have you had a conversation with your dd? If you have always provided pads and want that to change, you do need to talk about it.
But regardless, it is inconsiderate to not even mention that she had used the last one!

DarkModeLightMode · 10/01/2025 12:49

When my 19y is home from uni, we share period products. I have a stock and would never run out. I don’t give it a second thought and am happy to buy for her. Even if she worked.

In your case, I would be a bit cross at not being told that something had run out. But I would always have spare…

Spirallingdownwards · 10/01/2025 12:49

If she already buys separate toothpaste, shower gel and shampoo etc then yes I would expect her to get her own. However if she uses toiletries in the bathroom in a shared communal way if you haven't told her not to then she doesn't know she shouldn't lump these into the same category.

ShamblesRock · 10/01/2025 12:50

flipent · 10/01/2025 12:49

Have you had a conversation with your dd? If you have always provided pads and want that to change, you do need to talk about it.
But regardless, it is inconsiderate to not even mention that she had used the last one!

Yes, this. You can't expect her to know by osmosis that she isn't allowed to use them.

TheWholeMealBaby · 10/01/2025 12:50

YANBU but have you spoken to her about it? If they are just there when she needs them I probably hasn't occurred to her that using them is a problem.
Yet again, another issue that could be easily resolved with a chat.

BatshitIsTheOnlyExplanation · 10/01/2025 12:51

It clearly isn't your responsibility to provide for your working 19 year old DD, but it would be a nice thing to do to have a bathroom drawer with supplies that you could both use as needed. I wouldn't see it particularly differently to having food in the cupboard that she can eat.

Snowmanscarf · 10/01/2025 12:51

Have you discussed that you expect her to get them now? If not, and she still lives at home, then she’s just continuing as she’s always has done.

ShamblesRock · 10/01/2025 12:51

I'm 46, I still use ones at my Mum's when I'm there. (More liners, but still her supplies)

RupertCampbellBlacksEgo · 10/01/2025 12:51

Did you tell her they are yours and she's not allowed them?

Commonsenseisnotsocommon · 10/01/2025 12:51

Bloody hell, how mean spirited can you be? Nothing wrong with asking her to take turns in replenishing supplies but to begrudge your own flesh and blood use of sanitary products seems petty in the extreme.

BatshitIsTheOnlyExplanation · 10/01/2025 12:52

ShamblesRock · 10/01/2025 12:51

I'm 46, I still use ones at my Mum's when I'm there. (More liners, but still her supplies)

I'm impressed your mum still uses san-pro if you're 46!

guc · 10/01/2025 12:53

Whichever person can grab some the easiest and quickest should just do so. It's no big deal. She probably should have said oh the pads have run out.

pointythings · 10/01/2025 12:53

Meh, I have period products in the house for my adult DC when they are here and I'm fully menopausal. They're in the household budget. If your DD doesn't contribute (enough), sort that out and then just make sure you have what's needed for both of you

loropianalover · 10/01/2025 12:53

Just speak to her and agree to both keep a stock of things you need in the bathroom, or ask her to transfer money for a portion of the weekly food shop/house bits.

This isn’t worth getting pissed off over or declaring ‘I don’t need to provide for you anymore!’. Focus on the solution.

Original poster
Mairzydotes · 10/01/2025 12:53

rubyslippers · 10/01/2025 12:49

Are you begrudging your DD using period products?!
maybe she should have said she’d used the last one but I’d assume and this is what I do with my DD, is that the period products in the bathroom are for both of us to use
unless there’s a massive back story YABU

How old is your dd?

I begrudge having to think and anticipate what everyone else might need to use, and having to provide it. Especially since she is always going to the shops and buying cosmetics and toiletries anyway .

OP posts:
guc · 10/01/2025 12:54

RupertCampbellBlacksEgo · 10/01/2025 12:51

Did you tell her they are yours and she's not allowed them?

I bloody hope OP didn't - it would have come across as pretty mean spirited.

Alalalala · 10/01/2025 12:54

Talk to her and ask her to get some more. But no need to be cross with her, she’s still operating in kid mode around you which is going to take a while to fully shrug off!

Turophilic · 10/01/2025 12:54

Is the toilet paper only for your use? The boxes of tissues? The shampoo?

Unless you’ve specifically told her they are yours, she’s perfectly reasonable in thinking they are toiletries available for anyone who needs them.

WhatNoRaisins · 10/01/2025 12:54

Have you actually had a conversation though? If she's always used the period products that are in the bathroom growing up then that's what she'd continue to do.

RaininSummer · 10/01/2025 12:55

BatshitIsTheOnlyExplanation · 10/01/2025 12:52

I'm impressed your mum still uses san-pro if you're 46!

Show quote history

Plenty of older ladies use liners still. They will be able to share the tena ladies soon too.

Kashmiri24 · 10/01/2025 12:55

I’m post menopausal and still provide sanpro for when my daughters visit. It’s never occurred to me not to. There’s nothing worse than coming on and not having pads or tampons available.

lostinthememory · 10/01/2025 12:55

I think it's 50/50 on you both to be honest

I don't share with anyone, I started my periods after my mum's ended. But she obviously supplied them for me for years. If I was running out, I'd say. If she noticed, she'd buy some more.

Now, when I know I'm running out it's on me. I don't go down to the last pad and then buy more. I have about 6 left now, so I'll buy more ready for next month, in case something like this happens, I run out unexpectedly

Motheranddaughter · 10/01/2025 12:56

Unless you are really skint,why wouldn't you ?