To think it isn't my responsibility to provide period products for adult dd.

[Mairzydotes]

I don't know if this my hormones talking, but I've just been in the bathroom and there are no pads left because my nearly 20 year old dd has used them all. I put those there for me.

My dd works , and I don't think it's my responsibility to provide them for her anymore.

Adult children who live at home without having moved out for a period don't tend to recognise fully that invisible line of adult responsibility. If she's always used the sanpro in the bathroom she will keep doing so until you explicitly have a conversation pointing out she needs to buy her own or contribute to the communal stash.

It's not really anyone's fault. Just have a nice, non confrontational conversation with her about it and explain it's not reasonable for there to be none left when you need them so either you both buy your own or you both replace the bathroom stock.

I have an older teen also working so I understand
I cannot imagine being grumpy because they used something in the house they live - I’d be cross if they used the last of anything but a family which lives together, shares food etc this is part and parcel
Maybe have a chat with your DD - teens aren’t well known for thinking ahead / being aware of others

I only have sons, but for what pads actually cost, it wouldn't bother me.
Could you tell her that from now on, whoever uses the last one buys the next pack?

Calling her nearly 20 is a little misleading. Say it how it is, she's 19 years old, living with her mum. You've probably always left products for her to use, and unless you say otherwise, how would she know you want to stop? You're annoyed that she's taken the last one, but why do you let stocks get so low? You must know approx how many you both need. I always have a spare box of tampons and pack of pads - and I use period pants anyway!

If you want her to start buying her own pads, let her know. There's no drama needed!

My period products are free for my two teens to use if and when they need. Eldest is 19.
I just buy plenty and make sure there’s enough in so no one is caught short.

I think it’s a little mean, as she may still feel a little embarrassed buying them herself.

Is she still in education? I can't see why you wouldn't just buy enough sanpro for you both in the usual shopping, however if she's then used the last of something she should either add it to a shopping list or go and stock back up again.

I can't imagine not making sure there was enough sanpro in the house for all the women and girls that live there, it's just part of being a parent isn't it? Like making sure there's always hand soap at the sinks and making sure there's enough loo roll for everyone.

Even my dh just picks up a few packs of the usual pads when he does the big shop.

IMO this is not about buying period products, but really about using things up and not replacing them.

A bit like using the last bit of toilet roll and just not bothering to replace it, knowing it will be the next persons problem.

Tell her? I don’t think it’s unreasonable for her to have helped herself, but it’s not unreasonable to say that from now on she needs to supply her own.

Yes, obviously. But the OP says she bought them for herself only, so if no one else is allowed them, how would they know unless told?

I would have no issue providing sanitary products for my adult DDs, every little helps in this day and age etc! However I would be pissed off she didn’t tell you she had used the last one and I would make sure she knew about it! In your situation I’d probably ask her to nip out and replace them just out of courtesy because it’s going to be difficult for you to go to the shop if you’re menstruating without any pads.

I don’t think it occurred to me to buy mine while I was living at home. They were always there! Nobody would call me entitled or spoilt.

I keep a stock on view in the bathroom for anyone visiting to use. If they were reserved for me i'd hide them.

Maybe it is my hormones talking.

I wouldn't let her go without, there will always be some in the bathroom ( unless she uses them all) , but then again , I don't think I should have to provide every single on she uses.

Well just tell her to pick some up next time she's shopping then.

God I buy them for my business's workplace bathrooms, I can't imagine gatekeeping them at home.

It's a basic to provide for your guests, let alone your actual children. It's not like she's taken them for fun. Do you hide the toilet paper as well?

I don’t live at home anymore but when I did we just all used to use whatever was in there (me, mum & my sister) and the unwritten rule was whenever it was running low or if you used the last one, grab some more when you’re next at the shop, or if any of us noticed it was running low we’d just grab some more. It doesn’t have to be a big drama and it feels a bit petty if you both use the same product anyway to have 2 packs and banning others from touching yours, just have a chat about replenishing. Maybe she’s going to get some more today.

Everyone had their own supply before I moved out, though my mother provided the products. If your daughter buys her own things for all her other needs, then it's reasonable to expect she'll buy those, too, but she may not have thought about it. If she lives with you and you haven't told her she needs to buy her own, it's not surprising she's just continued to do as she always has. She doesn't have a separate loo roll, I'm assuming, so this may feel like it falls into the same category as that, from her perspective. You'll have to talk to her about it, unless you just stop restocking until she gets the hint.

I think you just chat to her about it and suggest that both of you buy and keep a supply in the bathroom so there’s less likelihood of running out.

I provided for my girls aged 23 and 21. Always. Just bought them with the groceries. My 21 year old passed away 2 months ago and I’m glad I didn’t fight with her over mundane stuff.

Why? You provide all the toilet roll she uses. Unless you ration her to a roll a day or expect her to buy her own....

Sorry that made me chuckle so much 😂 I'm 38 and often use one of my mums tenas when I'm there 😂😂😂😂 she always jokes that it comes to us having to use them 😂

I've always bought my own tampons, and still do. The other day at work, a colleague suggested I just use the free ones provided by work rather than buy my own. Even though period products are now free in public bathrooms all over the place, it had never occurred to me to actually use them!

It then occurred to me that teenagers now maybe think period products are just free of charge in general, because they've never had to buy them.

There needs to be a discussion about this, about what things are still considered household items that you will be funding and what is under her personal care. I still buy shampoo, soap and deodorant for my son who is working full time but saving every penny to buy a house.

So sorry for your loss. Certainly puts things into perspective.

Don't replace them. Keep your own supply in your room. If she comments that there are none left, then have the chat.