To think it isn't my responsibility to provide period products for adult dd.

[Mairzydotes]

I don't know if this my hormones talking, but I've just been in the bathroom and there are no pads left because my nearly 20 year old dd has used them all. I put those there for me.

My dd works , and I don't think it's my responsibility to provide them for her anymore.

At that age, unless I was told otherwise that I needed to start providing things for myself it wouldn't have occurred to me to do so. No, you shouldn't need to buy your daughter's sanitary products but have you told her she needs to?

You can get Sanpro using subscribe and save on Amazon. That way you aren’t having to think about someone else as it comes automatically every so often. You can also buy in bulk too, so maybe suggest going halfers on it. It’s reasonable to be annoyed that you bought something and there’s none left when you need it, and also to be annoyed when you’re the only one buying it, but I personally would just suck it up as a downside of having a daughter still at home. My stash is available to anyone who needs it (but I haven’t had to share for 20 years).

Weird thing to take a stand on when they cost so little. Me and my DD around the same age, just share. Whoever needs them needs them, a bit like loo roll. (We do the same with shower gels, shampoos etc)

I leave mine out in a cute labeled box in case any friends of mine or my teenage son needs some.

I have endometriosis and don't want any one to be without or caught off guard without any.

When lived at home my (late) Mum topped up the bathroom cupboard and there were usually some in the house for anyone until she went menopausal. I use re-useable pants/pads but have a couple of emergency boxes in the bathroom (only female in house).

As a previous poster said if you are in Scotland schools/libraries/council offices/art galleries etc often have free packets available to tackle period poverty. I had a friend whose Mum died when she was 13 and had to buy her own from that point, which I thought was very harsh - nobody chooses periods and a teen should have pads/tampons included in household expenses, people should not be made to feel embarrassed about normal bodily functions at an early age.

Have you told her she needs to buy her own stuff?
If not then that's your starting point.
If you've always bought them then it may simply not have occurred to her.

Like loo roll. She doesn't buy her own I assume. So I'm sure it's simply not something she's thought about.

They've been provided since she started her periods.

I have a dd the same age and actually barely have need myself but still buy all the sanpro for my house. I have 3 dds 17 and over and I cater for all the different types they use!

Actually I always make sure there is a good stock of everything. Will likely be doing it till they move out.

Actually this is probably the thing I would most feel like I should provide. Certainly they buy all manner of fancy shampoos and scrubs and I stick to the cheap and cheerful.

I've lived with my DM and my MiL and none of us have ever been precious about period products. We just picked up some each at least once a month and then we always had them. It's the worst getting your period a day early and not being prepared.

As long as she doesn't expect me to be responsible for washing them

This. I have had my niece living with me since she was 18 - she is now 24. Young people can be clueless and self centred but they need to learn and that would not happen without adult input. My niece buys her own products but I have extra if she ever runs out and she is courteous enough to ask before using. She always asks if we are running low on anything and is happy to buy toiletries for common use or for guests. It is lovely to have a thoughtful youngster in the house. Btw, she is family and doesnt pay rent or anything else. When i was living with my family, my sisters and I always bought stuff for the family, not just ourselves. PP should ease up on calling OP mean spirited.

Who provides the toilet roll?

I would be annoyed too, she should have replaced them. Assuming this is the first time it's happened I would just say hey next time you're in the shops could you please replace the sanitary pads?

If she argues then point out that she's used them all up and you like the ones with wings.

I think it is your responsibility until you have a discussion. You can't change the goal posts without a conversation. How does she know that you've transitioned her from full provision of a home, to buy your own personal care stuff?

I grew up with 4 sisters and we each bought our sanitary products from the age of 13. We shared of course but my mum was never expected to provide sanitary pads. It was the same for all my friends.

If you have run out just tell her to buy some more on the way home!

This is so so petty. It's not like she can manage without washing her hair for an extra day 7ntio she gets t9 the shops. She needs a pad right now. Just say to her you want her to buy her own from now. Petty though it is.

Repeating that I don't begrudge supplying some , I just don't feel like I should be buying all the sanpro . I shouldn't have to anticipate what she will need and when. I haven't catered to to individual preference, I just buy a couple of different absorbancies.

I will probably always keep an emergency normal flow pack in the bathroom, provided nobody uses and doesn't replace, that isn't a problem.

My cycle has been longer this time, I think dd has started her 2nd cycle before me hence supplies running out. This also explains my emotions.

I buy sanpro with the grocery shopping. I also buy toilet rolls, supermarket own brand . Anyone who wants anything more premium is free to buy themselves it.

But have you been buying her pads with the groceries ever since she started her periods? Presumably yes, and anticipating need and all the rest of it.

If you want to change that then fine, but you need to talk to her about it and accept that it's reasonable she isn't psychic.

I think the fact she works and doesn't contribute financially isn't helping - she simply doesn't register the need for them as you've always provided, she doesn't pay for them and until now, you've just replaced constantly without thought or comment.

You can't expect her to suddenly know she's got to provide for herself, but you can have a conversation about buying her own/contributing towards the household pot/writing on a shopping list or whatever else you think is appropriate. And then get annoyed if she doesn't stick to her end of the bargain but not let hormones cloud your judgement now.

Is she at uni/college?

Can you ask for a monthly contribution for shared items like loo roll and sanitary towels etc? I would view sanpro as shared use if in the bathroom, I keep a supply in my underwear drawer and bathroom. I'll be charging my child nominal rent when they are old enough!

If she still uses every other toiletry in the bathroom, then I don't see an issue. Obviously she thinks they're there to be used by anyone just like the soap, shower gel, toothpaste. Ask her to bring more in on her way home. I no longer get periods but would regularly pick up a pack of tampons for my nearly 24 year old daughter. My youngest son can only use one type of deodorant, he'll break out in a rash with others, everyone in the house was told not to use that one, it's just for him, plenty of others to use.

Not mean-spirited, just thoughtless.

How is your communication with your DD in general?

When my DD's were living at home and working they paid board and lodging. I bought all their food, shampoo, soap, shower gel, toothpaste and sanitary products.......everything apart from their clothes and shoes.
It sucks that she used the last pad but if you don't talk to her about this nothing will ever change will it?