Estranged son asking for large amount of money

[Friartruckster]

Wants the money for a deposit for a house.

States is entitled to money I have inherited, set aside for him.

Hasn’t spoken to me in 7 years. Will walk past me in the street and blank me.

States I am toxic and hence no contact.

I am posting because it’s such a dilemma. I desperately want to help him get on the property ladder, but being estranged has had a massive effect on me. It’s a huge amount of money to handover. The fact we are estranged means I have no close family now. Things like adapting to Christmas alone. Feel that money represents my security as I near retirement.

Why are you estranged?

Unless there is a humongous drop feed coming, there is no way in hell you should give money to somebody who blanks you in the street and hasn't spoken to you in 7years. Son or not!

Why does he say you’re toxic?

Nothing sinister. Simply differing pov. He is ‘my truth is the truth’.

Yeah don't hand over a lump sum of money to someone who ignores you in the street.

😬 yeah agree with above, need more info on this one

On the face of it, it would be a no

Is the money just yours? As in your inheritance, not one that was left for him that you control in anyway?

If it's yours he can whistle. He doesn't get to treat you like that and then demand anything from you.

It is unclear to me if it is money that was given to you that you are choosing to share (in which case keep it), or if it was given to you with an expressed wish that it be passed to your son at some point in time (maybe you should give it).

He will take the money if offered and you will still be estranged!

What does he mean by entitled to, and set aside for him? It sounds like it was you who inherited the money, ie for yourself and not in trust.

It's your money, not his. The reasons for estrangement are irrelevant.

Rewrite your will, leave any residual estate to the cat's home.

What’s the differing POV?

Have you inherited money that was intended for him ? Or is he wanting his inheritance from your estate now . If the estrangement is abusive and he has been nasty ignore . Or tell him to wait until you are dead. Any other children?

I am estranged from a ds.. No way would I give him anything..

Firm no. And inform him that your will sends everything to the local cats home.

No, unless there is a massive back story to why you are estranged.

Why does he feel he is entitled to your inheritance?

Are you sure that he will use it for a deposit on a house? Could he have other issues.

I would ignore this demand if I were you

Not going to drip feed.

Nothing sinister to cause estrangement. Suspect his father fans the flames to keep him on side.

My inheritance- 4 years ago, when trying to find a middle ground has said wanted to support the purchase of a property with the money.

No, please don’t give him the money. If he’s estranged himself then he loses all rights to money from you. He wants to have his cake and eat it. Look out for yourself.

He's got a cheek.

If you give him the money he will go right back to blanking you.

Wait, just to clarify, was the money set aside for him by the person you inherited it from? If so, then obviously you should give it to them.

If not, then no, I would not give them the money. That said, if you know in your heart that you've treated them badly in the past and that their feelings may be justified then I might consider it.

Did you set it aside for him or was it specified in the will you inherited from. If it’s the first not a chance, if it’s the second you’re legally obligated to.

It's anonymous on here, so you might as well say the amounts involved.

He is not entitled to any inheritance - you can leave your estate to whomever/whatever charity you wish to in a will- especially if the will states you have been estranged for x years at the point of making it.

This money IS your security.

He sounds like a greedy, unpleasant, bully.

Don't give him a penny.

I wouldn't even respond.