That moment you realise you really do hate them

[Thetimeisno]

DM is having life saving operation followed by ongoing treatment starting next week. Had a family gathering today as she was too ill over Xmas. DH knew at Xmas it was going to either be today or yesterday based on greater availability. States he didn't know it was definitely happening so booked to play golf and go for drinks afterwards.

Asks me yesterday do I want him to come. I say yes but what about golf. He says he can get out of it. I ask later is he coming and he says no he really should play golf 🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡

Also said I may need to make trips back home a day a week to help out DM and his response is 'well it depends what day it is' - we have 2 primary school age children.

He barely works, just lazes around the house doing nothing. Will save you the expletives but he's such a lazy........

Think this really is it. I couldn't despise him more.

Life's to short to spend it with a dick.

If you hate him (and good reason), then get out of it and breathe free.

As for "well it depends what day it is' - we have 2 primary school age children.

It's a good job those children have two parents isn't it, I'm sure he will cope while you Go look after mum.

Prick

I'm so sorry, sounds like you've asked for the bare minimum support in very a difficult situation and he quite simply can't be bothered. Unbelievably selfish.

Absolute bellend. He has shown you exactly who he is, you very much need to listen.

Yep when you know you know

What a tosser.
Are you in a position to split up? Doesn't sound like he brings much to the table

Just get your stuff ready and go to your dm when you need to, tell him the night before. Don’t ask him. I bet he doesn’t ask your permission to go and play golf does he?

Times like this (parents being ill etc) are times when a partner who loves you would really step up and be there. It sounds like he doesn’t care and has checked out.

Get your ducks in a row as they say.

If he can't step up when you really need him, he's not worth your time, energy or love. He sounds like a lazy useless arse. If I were you, I'd start getting my ducks in a row - get legal advice and start making plans! I hope your mum's operation and treatment goes well 💐

No coming back from this! Sometimes it’s easier to be by yourself than someone who drains the emotional energy from you. Leave and model a healthy partnership for your children. Good luck!

I’m sorry to hear about your DM and I hope all goes ok. I think when these painful times arise it can remind us we only have one chance at life and it’s when people really show themselves for who they are. It sounds like your DH adds little to your life and at this moment when he could actually step up he has chosen not to. You deserve much more.

As is so often the case on here, first post nails it.

If he's that unreliable, and can't step up when needed, he's not worth having around. I'd cut him loose and good riddance.Hope your Mum's ok and you have other support from family and friends.

Are you funding him?

If he barely works how does he pay for his golf? Would you actually be worse off financially without him?

Partially as he refuses to pay for anything above half the bills e.g. holidays, presents, school trips , other unforseen costs.

Well he has a full time job so gets a full time wage! Just works maybe 2-3 hours a day. Below average wage so not like he's a top earner.

I earn more but obviously would be tough paying for everything as a single mum. Can't see him becoming any more willing to pay for stuff for the kids if we split 😂🤣🤬

What does he bring to the table other than grief then? And why do you put up with him?

You can't unsee it once you do.

I honestly think my life is somewhat easier than a lot of women. I'm a lone parent, way more peaceful than having a horrid manchild in my life.

He refuses to pay for HIS children's holidays, trips, gifts etc.??

Have you asked him to and he's just said no?

Mine was really more of an awakening to what a selfish and just not very nice person he was. And that he wouldn’t change and I basically would continue living a life where I was constantly unfulfilled, sad and disappointed. I got rid two days later and that was 9 years ago.

Yes you have less money (worth it) But My bills reduced considerably (water, electricity), I cancelled sky and my food bill pretty much halved.

Apparently it’s ’Divorce Monday’ today. Strike whilst the iron’s hot.

I'm just dreading the break up though and how difficult he is going to be re the children. Wish he didn't have to be in my life but he has to be cos of them.

He either says they're too expensive so not to buy/pay for what ever it is. Sometimes he says he'll give me half but never does. Says I spend too much and have bought too much etc. Lots of excuses.

How did he take it and is it working with him? He's so difficult now I think he's going to be so much worse when/if we do split.

He sounds as shit an employee as he does a husband. How on earth does he get away with working 2-3 hours a day in a full-time job?