That moment you realise you really do hate them

[Thetimeisno]

DM is having life saving operation followed by ongoing treatment starting next week. Had a family gathering today as she was too ill over Xmas. DH knew at Xmas it was going to either be today or yesterday based on greater availability. States he didn't know it was definitely happening so booked to play golf and go for drinks afterwards.

Asks me yesterday do I want him to come. I say yes but what about golf. He says he can get out of it. I ask later is he coming and he says no he really should play golf 🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡

Also said I may need to make trips back home a day a week to help out DM and his response is 'well it depends what day it is' - we have 2 primary school age children.

He barely works, just lazes around the house doing nothing. Will save you the expletives but he's such a lazy........

Think this really is it. I couldn't despise him more.

OP, you sound so lovely.
You will get out and you will thrive and so will your children.
Never under estimate how much they see and know.
What age are they?
Start gathering anything of sentimental value and move to your parents.
Spring cleaning now is good if you plan on moving out.
Moving stuff to your parents like bedding towels etc so you have access to them.
Tell family and good friends the truth.
Talk to Women's aid because he absolutely is abusive.

Over the years I have heard of many selfish golfing pricks like yours where the women never left.
Several of these men had serious illness incapacitating illnesses and their wives rufused to be their carers and have them home after a hospital stay.
They insisted they be admitted to nursing homes.
Their husbands were furious but there was fxxk all they could do about it.
They lived out 15+ years in a nursing home.
Their wives lived their lives in peace visiting barely once a week.
Karma.

It is those crisis moments where they show true colours.
I was off work sick once and begged then bf to bring cures. He turned up all irritated with some sucky sweets. Not even cough sweets. And nothing else but an attitude. That was the end. Clearly too self involved and lacking empathy.

Thank you so much. I am having therapy and going to a support group, gradually starting to feel stronger. I listened to a podcast last night that said i have the chance to give future generations a chance. And I really feel that ATM. Especially with his dad being the same. I don't want it passed on again. They are 9 and 5.

And oh gosh yes I bet those women were so happy to have peace in their houses at last. ❤️

Oh gosh yes. That's the other thing that makes me think. Once I get older and inevitably have illnesses he won't be there for me. I recently had a sickness bug and he still went to the pub. He asked me if I should go. I said I didn't know (as didn't want to be blamed for not letting him go) and he went. Left me at home throwing up with the kids!

The worst was when I had COVID though when my midwife said I needed medicine to stop myself and/or unborn child getting a blood clot. It was the time you had to self isolate, he wanted me to go but I asked him to go and get it for me. First time he went they didn't have it, we then had to wait for the delivery but the pharmacy wasn't sure if it was to be on the next delivery etc. I asked him to go again and was met with huffing and puffing and he said 'it was interrupting his day and stopping him doing what he wants to do'. If the tables had been turned and he was pregnant with something minor and needed some medicine I would have gone to hell and high water to get it for him!

What a nasty selfish man he is Op, you've put up with his shit for far too long already. Keep going with the plan to leave, your life will be so much better without him

He really is. I couldn't leave back then as I wasn't working. I have worked really hard to pay off all the debt from my maternity leaves as he wouldn't help me out (he has savings, I had credit cards!). Now I'm working I am in a much better position thank god.

@Thetimeisno time to get yourself to a good family lawyer. Know what you’re entitled to, knowledge is power.

I have one I sought advice from when he said he would stop me from seeing the kids and also would make me leave the house and I think she's good but how do you know 😬

Thinking of you and hoping you're OK @Thetimeisno

Also thinking of you, am so hoping you are ok and have kicked the useless husband in the bin!