AIBU - friend wants hotel for wedding guests only but my mum will be looking after my newborn

[BunnyFox]

My best friend is getting married later this year and I’m currently pregnant with my first baby. Baby will be 3 months old at time of wedding and children are not invited (no problem, her wedding her wishes). The wedding is also abroad, so I’ve got my mum to come to look after our new baby in the room. The wedding hotel has no family rooms and when I rang and explained the scenario they said all I could do was book 2 x double rooms, (ok, no problem if that’s the only option).
My best friend has now asked if my mum can book another hotel in the area as she wants to keep rooms for wedding guests only. I’ve explained that I will need to be near the baby for feeds and perhaps to settle them, so would like her to be onsite. It’s my first baby and I’m trying all options and logistics as I don’t know how things will go, but I feel she’s being insensitive to my situation.

Can’t your mum stay in your room during the ceremony?

Your friend is being ridiculous.

I honestly don’t know how you would manage if your baby was in another hotel, how would it even be possible or practical.

Not sure I’d even go under the circumstances.

Not up to her surely, unless she is paying for exclusive use?

Your friend is being bridezilla, Unless she’s booked the full hotel for her sole use she can’t expect your mum not to have a room.

I wouldn’t go, it’s going to be a huge amount of hassle and you’ll probably fall out anyway if she’s going to be this unreasonable.

I'd say that my mum stays at hotel, or we don't come at all. No hard feelings, but we won't be able to come unless the baby is safe on site. At 3 months, she's tying your hands completely.

WTF? That's ridiculous. Her wedding is so exclusive that she doesn't want anyone else to be there? Not even your own mother, who only needs to be flown over there because of her no babies rule?

Presumably the baby isn't allowed there as it's not a guest either? This is pure bridezilla at its worst.

Basically your friend is shouting loud and clear your baby will be an unwanted distraction from her on her big day. Stay home and enjoy your dc.. I get a dc free wedding but she is in Bridezilla territory with that demand....

Yes, but she'll still need somewhere to sleep later.

Why on earth should she have to leave when she's paid and gone abroad to keep the newborn baby of the bride's best friend away from the ceremony!

Don’t go. Book a holiday elsewhere where you’re allowed to be a mum.

I’ve explained that I will need to be near the baby for feeds and perhaps to settle them, so would like her to be onsite. It’s my first baby and I’m trying all options and logistics as I don’t know how things will go, but I feel she’s being insensitive to my situation.

You haven't said whether she stuck to her guns or not?

If she did, she's really not bothered about you attending her wedding, so why do it?

You’re not unreasonable. It’s good of you to go and take your 3 month old (and mum!) abroad, and I think the friend should appreciate that and let your mum stay where is most convenient.

Are the rest of the hotel rooms full of meaning you’re taking a room from another guest? If thats the case presumably another guest could find a local hotel rather than your mum!

That’s really bad! You’re already being very accommodating to her wishes.

She is being ridiculous.

Your friend sounds much too young to be getting married.

She's ridiculous

Your mum stays at the wedding hotel or you don't come. Take it or leave it tbh

You're already really going out of your way to comply with her requirements.

She's been so cheeky! You're bending over backwards going, taking your mum and sorting out your own (and assume paying!!) for accommodation. She should be bloody grateful, not asking you to ship your mum and baby off to another hotel! Stay put or tell her you can't come.

I wouldn’t go. Even no kids weddings generally allow babes in arms. It’s a massive concession from you and your mum to go and for her to look after the baby, bridezilla should be thanking you not making it difficult for you.

So you're paying for your mum's flight and accommodation in order to go to this wedding without the bride having to endure your baby's presence, but now she won't even let you have access to your child?

Why is this person your best friend?

Honestly, you will have a 3 month baby, you have to let, take your mum for babysitting, and she can't even stay at the same hotel.
There is no way I would be accepting that invite.
It's a no from me.

Sorry I meant you'll have to fly.... typo

I wouldn’t bother going. IMO prioritise your child, not someone so self centred. It comes down to the fact that unfortunately the timing isn’t great and your baby is too young to be away from you for too long.