To be irritated by my boyfriend's daughter using my stuff?

[BrianWankum]

I don't live here and am here maybe once a month, probably less recently as I've been v busy. She is 17, doesn't live here either, stays once or twice a month. I haven't actually seen her for ages.

I keep a few bits here - last time I was here I couldn't find my hairbrush and my boyfriend went in her room and found it in a drawer. This time I couldn't find my hairbrush, hairdryer, heat protection spray or deodorant - they were all in her room and the deodorant was in a drawer.

I do also have shower stuff here that hasn't moved from where I last used it. I'm grumpy today anyway and finding this highly irritating, I don't really want to share with her, I'm not her mother! I bought an extra hairdryer at home because I got fed up with mine wandering off when my own daughters stay. Am I just being a miserable cow, given that it doesn't actually use up my hairdryer and deodorant is cheap?

Buy her own?

If you don’t live there just take the stuff home with you, not sure what else you can do.

No, you are not unreasonable. It's one thing to use a hairdryer and return it to where you found it, that's not impacting anybody. But using someone else's hairbrush is a bit yuk, especially without them agreeing to it, and using deodorant costs you money.

I would have a word with your boyfriend and ask where you can leave your belongings so that they aren't used. Can you pop them into bag at the bottom of his wardrobe?

Yanbu
Could it be she has a problem with you keeping things there?

Just ask her (nicely though, yeah 😊?) not to help herself to your belongings - if she doesn't stop, keep the lot in a little bag in your car.

I’d be rather annoyed but would take path of least resistance. I’d keep a small suitcase or bag there and keep it all in there. It’s about having things where you can find them when you get there - no good if you have to hunt things down each time. Might buy a cheap house hairdryer to keep there?

Is she using them because she needs them? Does she have her own of these items at her dads?

Gosh no I would be raging about this. Any way of having a lockable drawer or resorting to a big piece of paper saying piss off using my stuff may have resorted to this when mine were teenagers. Not my finest hour

Take your stuff home and tell SDs dad to buy her what she needs.

Give him a shopping list of what she needs.

I think you're being a bit mean. Does she need them? Is anyone buying her the things she needs to keep at her Dad's? Perhaps DP isn't aware of the things she needs and she doesn't want to ask him.

I would go to the pound shop and fill a basket with toiletries and give them to her along with a small hairdryer. Tell her you thought she might need a few things for when she's at her Dad's. I know she's 17 but you're the adult and she's the child.

I don't see the problem with sharing stuff. You sound very tight

That would drive me batty. I hate my stuff being moved. I'd ask dp to get duplicates for his dd

I'd be a bit annoyed about this bit it seems she needs some stuff at her dad's- can he biy her some stuff to keep there?

Can you get a lock for you mr bedroom door?

Buy duplicates for her and put in a bag from a charity shop or pound land.
Do same for yours and label each bag

I don't understand why apps think OP had to buy stuff for this person?

Sharing is one thing. Actually taking things into her bedroom is cheeky imo.

Keep a small suitcase there and store your stuff in it, along with a massive strap on dildo, handcuffs and a gimp mask.

She’ll only go rooting in it once.

What is with people who think they can just take and use other people's belongings.

"Oh I didn't think you wanted it as you weren't using it" I had to grow up hearing that from my wicked sister who would steal my dinner from the fridge if I didn't get to it fast enough!

YANBU

Take all of your stuff home. She's old enough to know the difference between 'mine' and 'not mine'.

Make your own DCs return stuff to its place too. You shouldn't need to buy an extra hair dryer.

It's grim to use someone else's hairbrush imo.

I wouldn't leave stuff there, you aren't there very often just keep a small suitcase or overnight bag packed that you can grab and go with the things you need. Useful for work trips, emergency hospital stays or visits to family too.

I'm wondering why she doesn't have her own? Give her dad a list of girls necessities including period stuff. Buy a cheap brush and hairdryer, couple bottles deodorant and hairspray, whatever u think and keep it in her room. Then if after this she still uses ur stuff then she's a cf doing it deliberately. But it's down to ur boyfriend to provide for her or if she works then she should be bringing her own crap with her.
Put ur stuff in a wee bag and stick it in the back of ur car or put a wee lock on it in ur bf wardrobe

Why must the bag come from one of these two places specifically?