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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being woken up at 5 am when not going to work

253 replies

Eightiesprincess · 31/12/2024 11:03

I'm very confused right now and wondering if I actually am being unreasonable. My Partner wakes up at 3 am for work (usually 2 alarms later ) goes downstairs then comes back up at 5am to get dressed and go in doing so walks into the bedroom bangs on the light and proceeds to have a conversation with me. This morning I suggested that there was an argument that he could have put the lamp on rather than the main light to which his reply was there is an argument that you could get up and use the day.
When I stated I was off work and on holiday he tore into me telling me I was entitled and ungrateful.
Am I ? I had simply planned to get up at 7 and start the day.

If you got this far. Thank you 🙏🏻

OP posts:
Blanca87 · 31/12/2024 11:05

He sounds like a selfish cunt.

Cheepcheepcheep · 31/12/2024 11:05

Your partner sounds like an arsehole.

FionnulaTheCooler · 31/12/2024 11:05

He's a selfish arsehole. Anyone with an ounce of consideration would be quiet and let their partner lie in.

Cheepcheepcheep · 31/12/2024 11:05

Blanca87 · 31/12/2024 11:05

He sounds like a selfish cunt.

Actually I think this puts it better.

Dinosweetpea · 31/12/2024 11:05

YANBU, side light and/or get dressed in the bathroom, this is what my DH does when he has to leave super early.

MinnieBalloon · 31/12/2024 11:05

YANBU. When DH has an early start he takes his work clothes and toothbrush downstairs and gets ready down there so as not to wake everyone else in the house.

BaronessBomburst · 31/12/2024 11:06

Your partner is so unreasonable I don't even know where to start!

Purpleturtle46 · 31/12/2024 11:06

He is being very unreasonable. If he is getting up at that time he should be putting his stuff in the bathroom to get ready without disturbing you. What is he doing for 2 hours between getting up and getting ready?

OrangutanDaisies · 31/12/2024 11:07

He's an idiot. He's obviously resentful of his hours and taking it out on you. Why on earth should he dictate what time you get up?

BaronessBomburst · 31/12/2024 11:07

MinnieBalloon · 31/12/2024 11:05

YANBU. When DH has an early start he takes his work clothes and toothbrush downstairs and gets ready down there so as not to wake everyone else in the house.

This! And the alarms going off two hours early is insane.

DelphiniumBlue · 31/12/2024 11:08

Why is is he setting the alarm at 3 but only getting dressed at 5?
Whatever, he is being very selfish.
My DH has early shifts meaning he has to leave the house at 4:15, and I never hear him. I think he takes his clothes into the bathroom and gets dressed in there. There’s no need for him to wake you at all, let alone on your day off.

GCAcademic · 31/12/2024 11:09

What on earth is he doing from 3 to 5am?

Notmydaughteryoubitch · 31/12/2024 11:09

My God, do you genuinely need the Internet to tell you he is unreasonable?! Of course he is, he sounds dreadful. I go to the gym at 6 some mornings in the week, I always pop my clothes downstairs and sneak out and get dressed down there so as not to wake my DH and vice versa when he has an early morning start. For comparison, this morning I woke up and had a migraine (visual disturbance), my DH got me painkillers, turned off the light, closed curtains and took DD downstairs and told me to get some more sleep. That's how a partner should behave. I'd lay money on him being selfish in many other parts of life too.

Doyouthinktheyknow · 31/12/2024 11:10

He’s really selfish!

I get up at 6am for work, I used to always get everything ready and get dressed downstairs but since DH retired, he said not to bother and I just turn a low light on.

I was happy to continue downstairs though. Why would you intentionally wake up your partner if they want a lie in unless you are selfish!

Original poster
Eightiesprincess · 31/12/2024 11:11

Notmydaughteryoubitch · 31/12/2024 11:09

My God, do you genuinely need the Internet to tell you he is unreasonable?! Of course he is, he sounds dreadful. I go to the gym at 6 some mornings in the week, I always pop my clothes downstairs and sneak out and get dressed down there so as not to wake my DH and vice versa when he has an early morning start. For comparison, this morning I woke up and had a migraine (visual disturbance), my DH got me painkillers, turned off the light, closed curtains and took DD downstairs and told me to get some more sleep. That's how a partner should behave. I'd lay money on him being selfish in many other parts of life too.

Apparently it's his time before his day begins

OP posts:
healthybychristmas · 31/12/2024 11:11

After one night of this I would've told him to leave! What is he doing between 3 and 5 am?

TomatoSandwiches · 31/12/2024 11:11

Just sack him off, no one does this to someone they are supposed to like let alone love, infact he'd probably show more respect to a stranger if he lived in a shared house.

Why are you with him?

Nc546888 · 31/12/2024 11:12

Have you got a spare room? We sleep in separate rooms and it’s bliss

AlisonDonut · 31/12/2024 11:16

You are only being unreasonable in allowing this to happen without ditching this absolute tosspot.

ApolloandDaphne · 31/12/2024 11:19

He is an arse. My DH gets up early for work but lays his clothes out in another room the night before and is like a ninja leaving the house. Why on earth does he need to get up at 3 if he gets dressed at 5? Do you got I bed very early?

Shinyandnew1 · 31/12/2024 11:23

How long have you been living with this arse?! I would be making plans to not live with him any more and enjoy as much sleep as I wanted.

seven201 · 31/12/2024 11:25

My DH's alarm goes off at 5.30. He puts his clothes in the bathroom the night before. It's rare that I'm woken up by him. It's just courtesy. Your dh is a selfish knob, sorry.

Gardeniamodenia · 31/12/2024 11:26

He’s a vindictive bastard. How would he like it if you turned on the main light and were noisy for two hours after he goes to bed? If nothing else remove the light bulb while he’s at work.

Itiswhysofew · 31/12/2024 11:27

Good grief, what's it got to do with him?!

What's he actually doing between 3 & 5am?

He's being really inconsiderate of your right and need to sleep. He needs to get organised and get ready in another room.

Spudthespanner · 31/12/2024 11:30

He's a disgusting SOB and I'd be out of there so fast the door would be rattling on its hinges. No one stops me getting sleep.

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