Being woken up at 5 am when not going to work

[Eightiesprincess]

I'm very confused right now and wondering if I actually am being unreasonable. My Partner wakes up at 3 am for work (usually 2 alarms later ) goes downstairs then comes back up at 5am to get dressed and go in doing so walks into the bedroom bangs on the light and proceeds to have a conversation with me. This morning I suggested that there was an argument that he could have put the lamp on rather than the main light to which his reply was there is an argument that you could get up and use the day.
When I stated I was off work and on holiday he tore into me telling me I was entitled and ungrateful.
Am I ? I had simply planned to get up at 7 and start the day.

If you got this far. Thank you 🙏🏻

I'm notoriously grumpy first thing, it takes me a while to wake up. If my partner was being so selfish, especially at 3am & 5am I can see myself properly losing my temper and if it kept happening they would be an ex partner.

Make him an ex-partner.

Mean prick. There's no need for him to do this.

Imagine a world in which you sleep and get up when you want without being abused. Imagine a world in which you have a partner who accepts that you’re a human being with as much right to your preferences and views as him. Imagine a world in which your partner is kind and considerate of your happiness and wellbeing. A new year is about to start..,,,

Yeah but why all of the resentment for you? He doesn’t go to work because you control him, he should go for himself to make his own way in life, he’s being really cruel and rude. Somehow because he gets up to go to work that gives him a right to torment you about it? You need to put your foot down here please and say no more.

Farking hell OP!!

I would be finishing this relationship quicker than a slice of pizza.

What an absolute asshole.

how’s finances

I’ve done shifts and it was horrendous felt permanent ill but had to do them as we needed the money was good
right or wrong there was resentment

does he hate these hours

That is awful, you are off work and deserve a lie in, he has no need to wake you up. Tell him to get ready in another room or sleep in another room.

Or preferably live somewhere else...

He was resentful that you had a day off and he didn't. Is he like this in other things in life? Your birthday or any good news you receive?

How horrible. Dh is like a cat burglar when he has an early start i wake up and he is gone! Puts his suit and shoes in the corridor.

What an arse. On days I'm not working and DH is he gets up as quietly as he can as to not wake me and that's at a normal time of 7 - he even sorts the kids out so I don't have to on a day off. Like ways I do the same for him.
Just because he gets up so early doesn't not mean you have to or that he has a right to wake you and me a dick about it.

Tales from women with shitty partners isn't just for Christmas.

Give yourself a new year treat - get rid of him.

Wholly agree. He is vile.

But not yours

I'd be getting up very early and noisily on his next day off

Just before I left him

I hate posts like this

I wish the OP would explain why they're asking and why they're with an arse

I am asking as I have had it drummed it to me at 5am this morning before barely awake that because I'm not the life and soul at 5 am and want to sleep til 7 am in the school holidays that is self-pitying , ungrateful (because he gets up early even when off ) and unreasonable to snap at the light being banged on.
Even to the point where if he offered takehis clothes out into another room and I agreed it would be "selfish".

Obviously the answer is you put the lights on, make a racket and start chatting to him when he’s fast asleep, around midnight should do it.

This sounds like sheer nastiness-or envy. Does he resent you for keeping more conventional hours? Is he going down t'pit for a twelve hour shift to support you?

But someone like this must be horrible in other ways

He can't be all kind and thoughtful the rest of the time

Mind blowing selfishness.
In every relationship I’ve been in, some good and some bad, if one of us has had to get up earlier than the other, we’ve done it quietly so as not to disturb the sleeping person. OP your partner is being deliberately nasty. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with someone who wanted me to be unhappy, as your partner clearly does.

Why are you with this awful man?

Grateful of him "getting up to go to work and cracking on”. His words not mine.

He’s resentful and spiteful. I’d crack on with repaying the deed tonight. Staying up till the early hours is not unheard of at New Year. He’s timed this perfectly!

Nasty selfish git. None of his business how late you choose to sleep in on your day off and what you plan to do with your day. If I had to get up that early for work I would likely change in a separate room so as not to wake my partner.

There's no explanation for his behaviour that doesn't conclude that he is selfish and envious of you getting to lie on.

Oh well there you go, you've answered this yourself.. he is treating you with contempt. Up to you now. Sympathies.

He is being incredibly selfish. When I have to get up earlier than DH I take my clothes out of the room the night before, I get up without turning any lights on. Why does he feel the need to 'punish' you for sleeping on? Can he not cope without your attention for a few hours?