Being woken up at 5 am when not going to work

[Eightiesprincess]

I'm very confused right now and wondering if I actually am being unreasonable. My Partner wakes up at 3 am for work (usually 2 alarms later ) goes downstairs then comes back up at 5am to get dressed and go in doing so walks into the bedroom bangs on the light and proceeds to have a conversation with me. This morning I suggested that there was an argument that he could have put the lamp on rather than the main light to which his reply was there is an argument that you could get up and use the day.
When I stated I was off work and on holiday he tore into me telling me I was entitled and ungrateful.
Am I ? I had simply planned to get up at 7 and start the day.

If you got this far. Thank you 🙏🏻

There being completely unreasonable

those are horrendous hours think there maybe some resentment

often you get trapped in jobs like that because they pay well

Dump him and problem solved immediately. Job done, start the New Year with long lie ins minus the selfish bastard.

He sounds like a complete arsehole. How would he react if you had the lights on and were making noise at midnight?

Entitled and ungrateful? Entitled to what? Ungrateful for what?.. My ex was no angel and always made lighthearted digs at me about not getting up before 7 but even he would tiptoe around with a torch to make sure he didn't wake me up in the morning.

Ridiculous!

Lots of people get up early for work (or whatever reason) and the vast majority of them are as quiet as they can be so as not to wake up the whole household. Literally I get dressed in the bathroom on those days and I don’t know what DH does but I’m very rarely woken so he clearly manages to get ready without disturbing me or the kids. 5am is the middle of the night as far as I’m concerned and I’d not be happy to be woken up deliberately!

what time does he go to bed Op if he gets up at 3am? I’d go in and turn the light on and make loads of noise at midnight and see how he likes it!

I don't even know where to start with this one, he's a selfish cunt - and that is an understatement. I would be long gone.

Most bizarre, who hangs around for 2 hours in the middle of the night??? Simple solution is he puts his clothes in the bathroom the night before (realistically the afternoon before on his schedule)

Being understanding to your partner is key

Yeah, I hope that your vagina has dried up while you think about the level of respect that himself has for you.

What is he doing for 2 hours??? That's valuable sleep time

I get up at 6am for work and get ready but my DH doesn’t mind. He makes me a tea and goes back to bed. It would be awkward anywhere else

Come on OP, the man’s a bellend. I bet he’s hateful in many ways other than this, probably his only saving grace is that he’s in bed and out of your hair at 7pm like a toddler.

What an absolute bstrd!

When my DH occasionally needed to get up at silly-o-clock, he'd put his clothes in the bathroom (as opposed to the en suite), get up quietly and not put on the bathroom light until he'd closed the door. I rarely woke up or heard him leave the house.

Forget declarations of love; it's the small stuff like that shows your other half's a "good 'un".

@Eightiesprincess for many years I had to get up for work at 4 and left the house at 5. DH and I slept in separate rooms and I succeeded in having a shower every day, dressing and leaving without waking him. You must know that your partner is beyond unreasonable here.

He wants to have 'his time'. What about 'your time'? Clearly that’s of no importance to him. His behaviour is repellent.

Ungrateful of what? Is he expecting you to show him gratitude that he wakes you up for no reason at 5am?

He should get all his stuff out of the bedroom the night before, get changed in the bathroom and quietly exit the house so that the rest of the people can continue their sleep. If not, I would stay up late every night, go into the bedroom turn the light on and start a conversation with him when he's a sleep. Apparently, only ungrateful people disapproves of that.

Rude - When I get up at 5.30 I get up on the first alarm if DH is off work and I get ready in the bathroom. If he is in work when I am off he leaves his work stuff in the front room and gets dressed in there. This morning, DSS stayed at his girlfriends so I put all my stuff in his room and got ready in there this morning.

My DH gets up at 4:30am once a week. Alarm goes off once, no snoozing. He has clothes ready night before in bathroom so he doesn’t disturb me. He uses phone light to leave the bedroom. I’d go mental if my DH did what your does.

Sooo selfish. He should be making minimal noise and definitely not turning any lights on. What the hell is his problem?

No, he’s awful. My husband gets ready in the other room and drops off a tea to me if I’m awake.

Sorry OP, this is resentment and entitlement on his side.

He’s a twat. I had a conversation with my chap that, if he ever woke me at 5am at a weekend again that we were done and that I was likely to hurl his phone across the room. He had a brand new phone and believed that I would do it. Unsure what that says about me, in all truth, but there you are.
Waking you on your day off, when he chooses to not let you have a bit extra sleep is a him problem and you are not ‘entitled’ or ‘ungrateful’. He, however, is a wankspangle. (Spoken by a woman who does not like being woken early on her day off)

My partner works a 4 on 4 off shift where he gets up at 4am. He sleeps downstairs (luckily we have a bedroom downstairs) but even when we have had guests and he's had to get ready upstairs he manages without waking me

You OH is a selfish tway

Grateful of him "getting up to go to work and cracking on "
His words not mine.

I think you’d be more grateful if he’d fuck off entirely and leave you to have a lovely life without him

My partner works weird shifts, if he gets up or in mega late/early he sleeps in spare room. He’d only turn the light on in my room if he was flapping having lost something like his work pass and worrying about being late

Haha, is that above and beyond what anyone should expect from a grown ass man? I don't think so. He's at best average, but he doesn't even seem to reach that level.

Why are so many women with men who treat them like this? Who speak to them like this? OP, are you genuinely confused and wondering if you’re being unreasonable? Truly?