Being woken up at 5 am when not going to work

[Eightiesprincess]

I'm very confused right now and wondering if I actually am being unreasonable. My Partner wakes up at 3 am for work (usually 2 alarms later ) goes downstairs then comes back up at 5am to get dressed and go in doing so walks into the bedroom bangs on the light and proceeds to have a conversation with me. This morning I suggested that there was an argument that he could have put the lamp on rather than the main light to which his reply was there is an argument that you could get up and use the day.
When I stated I was off work and on holiday he tore into me telling me I was entitled and ungrateful.
Am I ? I had simply planned to get up at 7 and start the day.

If you got this far. Thank you 🙏🏻

We would both probably sleep in the spare room if we had to get up that much earlier and do everything possible not to wake the other. Also - leave for work at 5, get up at 4.30.

His behaviour is not normal though OP, what are you going to do about it?

What a royal tosser. I’d suggest the next night that you help him move his stuff out of the room since he wants his own now so he doesn’t have to consider you ever. I would have stabbed my dh if he thought waking me at 5 was a good idea (he is also a morning person and I’m a night owl), but telling him to get out of your room if he can’t be considerate is a less criminal approach.

No … no…. No

What he’s trying to do is control what time you get up. He has no respect for you at all.

Id be moving out.

I wouldn’t even be having a conversation about this or anything else this is selfish, inconsiderate asshole.

Plus I bet he goes to bed early to get his me time and the op doesn’t get 2 hours of video game playing every day. There’s no way he can be a super involved father and pull his weight around the house with that daily pattern.

The problem with her waking him as suggested is that it will break into an all out war from his end. She could do without that. Yes to the relationship being bad and best out of, but engaging in a sleep deprivation war will make things much worse.

This is not addressing the issue, but can I suggest a manta mask with built in speakers. They are expensive but total blackout and you can play white noise through the speakers. Might help in the short term. I use the one without speakers and it was lifechanging for me.

Yeah he sounds like a twat and very selfish. I feel like he’s jealous you get to have a lay in. My partner got up at 4am today to go to work he didn’t need to leave until 5.30. He did wake me up when he got in the shower but that wasn’t intentional and he was super quiet when he got out and got ready

I get up at 5am for work and I do my best not to disturb anyone. I have my clothes ready in the bathroom and if necessary use my phone light to go downstairs. I actually start work at 6am and I get up as late as possible, can't imagine getting up 2 hours earlier for 'me' time.

I take it he gets up so early to do most of the housework before he goes to work ? If my husband disturbed me twice every night like that he would be living on his own. Why are you putting up with this man ?

Why is he getting up at 3am and getting dressed at 5am? What is he doing in those 2 hours? He’s a very inconsiderate twat to wake you up at 5am. He should have brought his cloths and toothbrush to the bathroom at 3am, or better still, the night before. And he’s an obnoxious prick for telling you to get up at 5am. I would be telling him to find himself another house to sleep in till he shows some consideration towards other people.

If he is getting up at 3am to watch YouTube and game then he’s got a major addiction problem. Are you sure that’s what he’s doing? Is he maybe watching porn?

I got up at 7.30am to get ready for an 8.30 Pilates class. The night before I'd got everything ready in the bathroom so I didn't disturb DH as it was the last day before the kids go back to school and his final opportunity to lie in. I do the same when I get up a 6am to go into the office and he does the same when he's up early to play golf. Neither of us ever sleeps beyond 9am. I'd be fuming if someone deliberately woke me at 5am for no reason.

He would be doing one of two things if I were you

1. Sleeping and getting ready in another room

1. If no spare room, sleeping on the sofa along with getting ready downstairs.

The Inconsiderate pig

I would rip his fucking head off. Arse hole.

He’s a selfish bugger. My partner is pretty selfish in general, but he gets up for work at 5, dresses in the dark and brings me a cup of tea (in thermal cup) ready for when I wake up.

Why on earth does he get up at 3am and go downstairs for 2 hours before getting dressed? Despite this, he is an arsehole. I am up 2 hours before my DH everyday, I get my clothes ready the night before and get dressed in the bathroom, no lights on, no noise it’s really not hard

He’d be my ex partner. He’s an absolute a-hole. My husband gets up at 6.10 and has his clothes ready in the bathroom. He even brushed his teeth downstairs so I can’t hear it buzzing. I get up at 7.15.

The only reason I can think of is if you’re not pulling your weight around the house and he wants you to get up and help out. Are you?

Is there any reason he gets up ridiculously early anyway? It seems ridiculous.

Tell him to get fucked

My DP gets up earlier than me every day. He puts his clothes in a different room and closes the bedroom door so he doesn’t disturb me. That’s what a normal considerate person does.

These crazy early morning people drive me nuts! Why the hell shouldn't you have a lie in if you want one? Tell him he is being utterly ridiculous and should get ready elsewhere. I’m up earlier than DH for work so I get ready in a different room.

OP posted: "He watches YouTube videos and games in this time saying it's the only time he can do it in peace before everyone gets up."

My husband worms shifts so could be getting up at 3am or coming hom3 at 3am and he wouldn't dream of waking me up!

He gets everything ready and showers/dresses in the main bathroom. Likewise he will sneak in when he gets home late at night.

If he needs some light, he uses his phone torch. Ditto for me on the occasions I need to leave for work early or get home late.

It's what nice, respectful partners do for each other.

LTB, this won't get better.

I also bet he is jealous that you get school holidays "off" and he only gets his 25 days annual leave or whatever so is punishing you for this.

Well your partner sounds like a complete twat tbh. I get up before my DH almost every day so I leave the clothes I'm planning on wearing in the bathroom. I don't put on the bedroom light or engage in conversation etc and I try to get up when my 1st alarm goes off. If my DH woke me at 5 like that I'd go apeshit tbh.

I would genuinely end a relationship for this

Unless he’s taking you to the airport for the holiday of a life time, no one is waking me at 5am and getting away with it. In the bin…