To tell my SIL to bugger off with her comments?

[TitaniasAss]

My DB and SIL have been staying with us since Friday and are due to leave tomorrow. It's been nice and I get on well with SIL but if she comments one more time on what I eat I think I'll scream.

I eat pretty well a majority of the time (I'm kind of 80/20 in terms of healthier/treats that I like). I run 4 times a week, which I've still been doing over the festive period and I generally try to take a fairly balanced approach to food and drink. I like to feel healthy as much as possible most of the time and I'm not overweight.

But it's Christmas. I am over indulging and probably about 70% pate 30% Quality Street right now and I really don't give a shit because I know that by the end of the week I'll be back to normal.

SIL seems to comment on every bloody think I eat or drink. 'Oh another chocolate/more wine/not more cheese and crackers, surely?' or a little snigger and comment to my DH (who has inhaled everything in sight but not a word has been said to him) 'oh you'll have to roll her around the floor if she keeps eating like that'. DH didn't laugh and told her that he wouldn't notice what I ate and nor should she.

I've tried to laugh it off with a jolly 'you're not trying to make me feel bad are you?' and eventually 'oh my god stop watching what I eat!' but I'm sick of it. I adore my brother and would never want to upset him, especially as he's had a really tough few weeks. I've noticed that she never says anything in front of him, but I really don't know how to last another 24 Hours with her monitoring every bloody thing I eat.

How do I put a stop to it without causing an issue with my brother or do I just put up with it for another day?

YABU - keep your mouth shut
YANBU - speak to my brother and potentially upset him

Don't talk to your brother about it, deal withityourself. I would completely ignore her comments - no reply and just look at her blankly. If she doesn't take the hint, roll your eyes and take your food into another room to enjoy in peace!

Tell her to stop it and mean it.

Good on your son. What a twat your SIL is.

She is being rude, but is it because she is jealous of your figure and self control the rest of the time and wishes she could eat what she likes without worrying about weight gain? She sounds jealous and miserable.

Shes probably jealous of you in another area of your life, or she’s truly insecure about something in her life. People who are secure don’t act bitchy like that.
I have a sil who puts me down a lot- same reason mum & I won’t put her in her place is because we see little enough of my brother as he’s in another country & don’t want him to fall out with us.

maybe she has underlying issues with food and is deflecting her problems on to you

'oh will you piss off monitoring everything I do, you're bloody obsessed'. Should humiliate her nicely.

😂😂😂

I would bite your tongue on this occasion. However, before they go, serve a very lean day to 'get you back on track, all this over-indulging, this is how we normally eat etc'. A small bowl of soup for dinner, a fruit plate for lunch, a bowl of porridge for breakfast. No snacks. No alcohol. Ensure you have supplies for you and DH upstairs! She will soon get the hint.

"That may be your experience with your metabolism but it's not mine. What is it you really want to say - we're all family, go ahead and share"

I'd ask her "aren't you bored of judging me yet!"

Hopefully she has now gone home but I would have turned the tables - nicely - by saying something along the lines of "oh dear, you must be really anxious about your diet to constantly comment on mine. Have you considered counselling?"

She's a passive aggressive bully with major insecuritiy issues (theres a lot of these people about) hold tight until your brother realises he can do better :-)

Tread carefully. If it happens again, smile through gritted teeth. Change the subject. As soon as the opportunity arises, suggest that you and her walk around the block. On that walk, approach her with concern to find out why, what impels her, what she's worried about, etc. You're two grown women and should be able to discuss this privately and maturely. Good luck.

I think the only appropriate response to this is fuck off

In all honestly though I’d just say why are you fixating on what I eat. It’s Xmas. And I quite comfortably indulge where I feel appropriate, is that okay?

I’d start asking her permission before I ate or drank anything to see how long she could tolerate it.

My favourite response maybe if you were stuffing your face you wouldn’t be a 🐮

I'd go down the faux concern route, either 'Are you OK, you seem terribly obsessed with what I eat?' You haven't developed an eating disorder that's making you project, have you?'.or 'Gosh, are you hangry? You should have said you were peckish, I would have brought you something?' or even 'I'm going for a run later, would you like to come too?'. Hubby sounds like a keeper for at least trying to put her in her place.

Is there something behind this? Does she struggle with her weight?
I would just say yes, and probably more later too' to any comments......

Your DS sounds like an excellent sort. Well done him and his parents for raising him well!

“Hahaha I know, I keep opening my mouth and putting food in. You keep opening yours and crap keeps coming out!

oh…I’m just joking too?”