To tell my SIL to bugger off with her comments?

[TitaniasAss]

My DB and SIL have been staying with us since Friday and are due to leave tomorrow. It's been nice and I get on well with SIL but if she comments one more time on what I eat I think I'll scream.

I eat pretty well a majority of the time (I'm kind of 80/20 in terms of healthier/treats that I like). I run 4 times a week, which I've still been doing over the festive period and I generally try to take a fairly balanced approach to food and drink. I like to feel healthy as much as possible most of the time and I'm not overweight.

But it's Christmas. I am over indulging and probably about 70% pate 30% Quality Street right now and I really don't give a shit because I know that by the end of the week I'll be back to normal.

SIL seems to comment on every bloody think I eat or drink. 'Oh another chocolate/more wine/not more cheese and crackers, surely?' or a little snigger and comment to my DH (who has inhaled everything in sight but not a word has been said to him) 'oh you'll have to roll her around the floor if she keeps eating like that'. DH didn't laugh and told her that he wouldn't notice what I ate and nor should she.

I've tried to laugh it off with a jolly 'you're not trying to make me feel bad are you?' and eventually 'oh my god stop watching what I eat!' but I'm sick of it. I adore my brother and would never want to upset him, especially as he's had a really tough few weeks. I've noticed that she never says anything in front of him, but I really don't know how to last another 24 Hours with her monitoring every bloody thing I eat.

How do I put a stop to it without causing an issue with my brother or do I just put up with it for another day?

YABU - keep your mouth shut
YANBU - speak to my brother and potentially upset him

Do thank your son and encourage him to do it again if she does the same next time! He's great.

Your son is spot on!
Well done to him, quite observant.

She is most likely always limiting herself on what she allows herself to eat, ylto be that obsessed with what YOU eat.

I'd stand on the doorstep eating a packet of biscuits as you wave them off.

Haha the ultimate good outcome! Hopefully she won't do that again

I hope you and your excellent DS are enjoying loads of 'more cheese?!' for lunch now they've gone.

Confront her because she's calculating and doing this without him there. More importantly she will leave your home and think she can do this again. People like her don't stop, they up their level of nastiness. Don't let her get away with that.
You could also plate up something really unhealthy and sit right next to your db and eat it whilst looking at her directly in her eyes. And then say sorry did you say something, whilst she's struggling to keep quiet. You will let her know that you're on to her.

I like this kind of approach. I was at a wedding reception once and helped myself to a Krispy Kreme and some other cake from the buffet. An older, very overweight man I'd never met said 'careful with that, you'll get fat!' (For context, I'm slim and fit and about 40 years younger than him). I replied 'Oh I expect so!' and starting shoving the whole doughnut in my mouth as I turned and walked off. He looked confused.

Just seen update- your DS is a good egg!

I’d probably just call it out for what it is and next time it’s mentioned ask her if she has an eating disorder or something and whether she is deflecting onto you. Ask whether she needs help.

Just say, "give it a rest now, you're becoming boring and repetative"

Don't speak to your brother, speak to HER! She's being incredibly rude.

She will tell your brother that your son is rude. These people always make you pay.

Or she will tell your brother that she didn’t feel welcome. The fact she’s leaving earlier means she’s brewing up to complain about how she’s been treated.

I'm not sure what you give twenty year olds for rewards (hugs?) but if that has been my five year old he'd be getting a star in his jar and a haribo.

Well done DS!

I’d make a point of stuffing my face as close to her/ as pointedly as possible. Or respond with, “yep, and I’m going to carry on stuffing myself until I burst!”
She probably envious that you can eat and stay slim/fit.

Does SHE have an eating disorder?

Or is overweight?

I'd just give her a fake sympathetic smile and say 'It must be really hard when everything goes straight to your hips like that... but you should just eat what you want anyway, really, you look fine and it's Christmas after all!'

Then just pat her arm and wander away.

I swear genuinely nice men always have the worst wives.

The nicest bloke I know has a wife that meets up with random blokes off the internet and gives them blow jobs in pub car parks while he pretends it isn't happening, and she moans that he doesn't spend enough on her at Christmas

OP - Please tell her, in no uncertain terms, to STFU. She is being extremely rude and she needs putting in her place right now. How bloody dare she make you feel like this while she is a guest in your home.

And please do not worry about upsetting your brother. Look at it this way - you're not the one upsetting him. She is. She is the one behaving badly.

Oh just seen this - yay! what a good lad. You've clearly done a great job raising that one :)

Next time she says anything say nothing , just hold her gaze. You'll confound her and she will start gambling and justifying herself. .

Good on your DS. I must admit I would have said "I don't why my eating upsets you so much or why you're so obsessed with it!"

If you still have access to the long toffee ones in Quality Street, you get two of them and shove one up each of her nostrils next time she says anything. While she’s processing that, pop a big piece of brie in her mouth. That should shut her up.

Give that boy a hug.
What a star.
She's an awful bitch.
I do think your husband could ask her in front of your brother, why she keeps remarking about what you eat?

She's really rude. It needs nipping in the bud.