To tell my SIL to bugger off with her comments?

[TitaniasAss]

My DB and SIL have been staying with us since Friday and are due to leave tomorrow. It's been nice and I get on well with SIL but if she comments one more time on what I eat I think I'll scream.

I eat pretty well a majority of the time (I'm kind of 80/20 in terms of healthier/treats that I like). I run 4 times a week, which I've still been doing over the festive period and I generally try to take a fairly balanced approach to food and drink. I like to feel healthy as much as possible most of the time and I'm not overweight.

But it's Christmas. I am over indulging and probably about 70% pate 30% Quality Street right now and I really don't give a shit because I know that by the end of the week I'll be back to normal.

SIL seems to comment on every bloody think I eat or drink. 'Oh another chocolate/more wine/not more cheese and crackers, surely?' or a little snigger and comment to my DH (who has inhaled everything in sight but not a word has been said to him) 'oh you'll have to roll her around the floor if she keeps eating like that'. DH didn't laugh and told her that he wouldn't notice what I ate and nor should she.

I've tried to laugh it off with a jolly 'you're not trying to make me feel bad are you?' and eventually 'oh my god stop watching what I eat!' but I'm sick of it. I adore my brother and would never want to upset him, especially as he's had a really tough few weeks. I've noticed that she never says anything in front of him, but I really don't know how to last another 24 Hours with her monitoring every bloody thing I eat.

How do I put a stop to it without causing an issue with my brother or do I just put up with it for another day?

YABU - keep your mouth shut
YANBU - speak to my brother and potentially upset him

"You come to my house and shame me about what I eat, when I'm not overweight, I exercise a lot and it's Christmas? It's odd you never do this in front of my brother, isn't it? What do you think he'd say about it?"

As for your DH, he should have said, "It's her fucking house. She can eat what she wants and if you don't like it, you don't have to stay."

Fight fire with fire.

I wouldn't involve my brother, but next time there's a comment, I'd just say
'yep, and I don't give a shit, so you'd might as well save your breath'
Big smile. And sod her😁

I have a friend like this & I just said “I’m really lucky to be able to have a jolly old Christmas & I’m absolutely loving it, would you like to share a tub of clotted cream with me after I’ve finished this cheese”

I really dislike people talking about food or weight or size. Really irks me.

You enjoy all the lovely food & drink op.

I wouldn’t upset your brother.
Tell her she’s really boring. And hope that upsets her.
According to dsgc being boring is the worst thing you can be. 🤷‍♀️

What I really. Really have issue about your post is all the ways you justify yourself
“ I know I’ll be back to normal “
“ I’m not overweight “
” I exercise twice a week”
“ I eat 80/20”
blah blah blah
it matters not a jot if you were a obese couch potato , veg dodger who is frying up mars bars every hour washed down with iron bru

you are allowed to eat and drink what the fuck you like , when , and how you like ,
some people are diet bores and need to be told firmly and abruptly ( if necessary) to stop
there are a million ways to make your point , some kinder than others
good luck

I agree with this. You need to find a eay to take her down a peg in a way that’s comfortable for you.

The ‘bet’ with DH, payable on the spot, or some of the gentle (and less gentle) put downs here are good. Go all out bitchy if you like - she is.

She sounds jealous that you can eat treats and she can't/won't let herself.

Go right up to her face, look her directly in the eyes and pop another quality street in your mouth

Next time she comments give her the ....Death Stare.

I'd probably just respond 'mmm yes I love this cheese!' 'Yes I sure am having another one - can I tempt you? No? More for me then'. 'This wine is great with these chocolates- match made in heaven' (big self satisfied smile). If she sees she's not having the desired effect she will stop. Hopefully.

Breakfast tomorrow, before they leave should be a couple of plain rice cakes and weak, unsugared, black tea or coffee, 'We're starting our super-healthy eating today, I'm sure you will love join us!', as their car rounds the corner, have the bacon in the pan!

Shes trying to get your OH onside - to divide and conquer in a sneering flirty way an attempt to make herself appear somehow better
She wanted him to laugh and agree with her, but he didnt

Ask her to fucking leave. This is about more than your weight/what you eat

My sister (when i used to speak to her) behaved like this around my OH

This is the crux of the matter, isn't it? She knows she's being a bitch and having a dig, because she's deliberately doing it when your brother isn't there.

Next time she says something, I'd ask her why she never comments on your eating habits when he's around to hear her say it.

My reply would simply be 'FFS give it a break'

She's either very insecure or jealous of your relationship with your brother or both!

Third option
'SIL, you do know that weight can be lost, bitchiness is forever'.

YANBU. Imo people only ever comment on other people food habits when they are insecure about their own (exceptions made for children).

As for what you should say, it’s tricky when you say you get on with her the rest of the time ( so don’t want a row). Maybe a strong glare and a “Seriously?” would do it? (maybe with some eye rolling after). Sometimes less is more - implying her comments are so pathetic you can’t really be bothered to properly respond.

I would take her aside and say you are finding her comments tiresome. Ask her is there is anything else going on because you don’t want to fall out over such a weird thing

This

Look her in the eye - “why are you so interested in what I eat”?

Just respond 'You don't have to worry about what I eat. It'll take me a 30 minute jog tomorrow to burn it off'. Then pop a snack in your mouth and smile.

Ask her if she wants a video of you eating so she can watch it privately and then flicker your tongue seductively around a vol au vent then burst out laughing, then each time she looks give her another little flicker😁

Sit right in front of her stuffing your face with a full box of Pringles, whenever she says anything just smile sweetly and keep going

I'd just say really smugly "yeah I'm just super lucky that I don't have to worry about food because my metabolism is fantastic so I won't put on any weight and have a figure my husband loves" and then maybe give her a pitying look.

Ask her very directly why she's bringing it up. "Susan you've made multiple comments on what I'm eating. Why are you so obsessed with me diet?" and don't let her off answering either.

Can you rib her a bit and say SIL I’m going into the cupboard for a snack. You have to guess if it’s a Quality Street or a grape. Do that a couple of times and see what she says. If she doesn’t stop tell her you’re not listening to her criticism as you’re very in tune with your body and it’s just fine thank you and smile