to think DS's girlfriend is taking the piss and he needs legal advice

[redwingparty]

Keeping this short as I don't want DS to be outed, though I could write a very long post about this woman, but the main thing is:

DS2 has just bought a flat, his girlfriend has moved in and she is not paying him rent. She is lazy by nature (stayed with us at Christmas but refused to help prep food, lay the table or clear up afterwards because she 'didn't want to'; she spent most of her time in bed) She has just started a MW job and I overheard her say to DS that since he was not charging her anything to live with him, she will only do three days a week.

DS has a long commute, long hours and two second casual jobs at weekends.

I am worried that he will get fed up of her sponging off him but be unable to get her to leave the flat legally if it is her main home. What rights does she have?

Also she mentioned setting up a sideline business of her own from the spare bedroom of the flat which would involve strangers coming into the house. DS1 told me this is probably illegal and against the lease, and could invalidate the contents insurance. But I think DS would find it hard to say no to her (which in itself is a bit of a problem - he idolises her and she puts him down very subtly but frequently).

AIBU to think we should get some legal advice about her housing rights and rights to operate a small business (similar to hairdressing) from the flat?

I will next time. We didn't know her well and I thought she was just a bit shy until I was told she actively refused to help but watched everyone else.

She’s said he’s in his twenties hasn’t she?

Everyone in that situation should have it signed in a solicitor's office that the other will never have a claim to the property. That doesn't stop her paying money over for utilities and food.
Don't pay jointly for sofas, beds, washers etc., one or the other pay wholly, saves arguments when separating.

As for her work, if it's something where clients can be poached from her 3 day a week job, she could soon find herself without it. Hasn't taken her long if so, seeing as she has just started. That's before getting council permission and H&S regs. Creating lease and mortgage problems and complaints from the neighbours.
I'd like to know what MW stands for as well. Hope it's not midwifery.

It is absolutely fine believe me. My husband bought a flat when we were still bf/gf stage. I signed something to a solicitor. His mother made a dig about the financial set up. He told her to shut up. We married in a couple of months ( this is why he bought the flat) and I got pregnant. We have been together 12 years now and I leant all my MIL dirty financial secrets....she has now only reasons to blush. She lost contact with the GC also due to her being horrible to me for no reason

Yep. Why does that seem unusual to you? We don't live in the same town. DS works long hours. We haven't seen much of him in the last 18 months, let alone his girlfriend. Met her once or twice briefly when visiting DS before they moved in together. She stayed the night once. Then she was with us for a week at Christmas which was when I realised she was not that nice - lazy, selfish, puts him down in subtle ways and clearly sponging off him.

Learnt - marrying a man in debt, spending her husband life insurance on safaris and new house, etc

MW is minimum wage.

She's a lazy sponger for sure. Where did she live previously? Most standard/newerLeases contain a clause prohibiting running a business from the premises so he needs to check his.

He has a backbone and a life going on for him. His mother is jealous and a horrible future MIL

Your comments are getting quite odd. I'm keeping back info because I don't want to out him or hand stories to the press on a plate. If I explained everything it might be clearer but too personal. So I am keeping it vague. But I have mentioned his age.

LOL. Projecting your own situation?

She said the girl stayed with her for a week and did nothing to help when asked and gave her son subtle put downs.
That's not jumping to conclusions, that's making a judgement based on behaviour you've witnessed.

If he idolise her and is happy with how things are, there's really nothing you can do about it. As a parent, I'd probably try and have a not so subtle conversation with him around contraception, and the implications of inadvertently tying yourself to someone legally before you are ready for that sort of commitment, especially someone who doesn't see the importance of playing fair financially. Stress the importance of this, as if that were to happen, that's it, he will be legally bound to support her and a child for the next 18 years, and there will be nothing he can do about it. I wouldn't like my child to be in this situation, and being taking advantage of one bit, so I can see why you're not happy, but equally it's tricky as not much you can do without potentially putting a strain on your relationship with your son and pushing him away. Just make him know that your door is always open, and you're happy to give advice, be an ear to listen, if he needs that. Unwarranted advice is not going to go down well, so needs to be on his terms.

A bit concerned maybe, but I take the view he’s a grown-ass man who hopefully has a handle on the situation, and the balls to sort it if he needs to! Clearly the op doesn’t like the gf, (and I understand why, as I have already said she’s a freeloader), but the son may have a different perspective..

Yes. She presumably doesn't have a copy of the lease, so nobody will be able to help her.

I used to run a business from my now husbands flat; it was not a breach of his lease. It would have been if I'd had large machinery outside or run a brothel, but they were the only things not allowed under our lease.

Most flats are leasehold, you buy use of part of the building for a set time (say 100 years) but the building itself belongs to the over all owner who is renting the land/building for that term.

I have to be honest that in my home guests never do chores or "help" it's rude for the hosts to ask them to do so.

Husband, adult children etc I think absolutely yes you can ask - but his gf is a guest in your house. She shouldn't have to do chores imo