My husband has suddenly decided he wants a baby. I’ve said no.

[itsalldownhillfromhere]

We’re both 40 have been together 15 years. Already have a DD 14. It’s a firm no from me. AIBU

Maybe counselling could help him.

Wanting another child when your partner absolutely does not is hard. He'll have to deal with the fact that he's going to have only one.

I think you’re unreasonable to not even have a discussion and hear him out or understand what’s driving his thoughts

itsalldownhillfromhere · 29/12/2024 21:53
I’ve listened. Not sure I’ve visibly emphasised as a bit pissed off it even came up (especially as he was more traumatised by the fact I almost died last time than I was).

There is no discussion to have @millymollymoomoo ^^

Was goung to say the same having a further child can come from qn emotìonal/sentimental place rather than the cold hard facts of what the implications are in the OPs scenario. As he did a fair bit for DD as a young child and has feiends whove had a further baby ( think ive got these correct) im thinking hes got his rose tinted spectacles on! (Partularly after his own reactionto the birth trauma) Would definitely go for the chat and counselling if hes struggling to come to terms with it.

Babies aren’t just for Christmas.

This was the whole thread 🙈I think you drip fed. I commented on your OP 😂

I'd get a stack of cards printed saying

I nearly DIED

and silently hand him one each time he starts on at you.

All the best to you.

No, I didn’t miss that. Some people might understand the reasons for their partners’ refusal or reluctance to take the risk but their desire for a child or self-centredness supersedes that. Childbirth is always a risk. Does that stop people desperately wanting children? No. Does it stop people having children? No.

As I said, the OP has the right to refuse to have another child whatever her reasons. Whether the partner accepts that or decides that actually his wish for a child is more important than their relationship is up to him. There’s nothing she can do about that.

I would so get the ick with him, permanently.

Sulking because you nearly died the first time and want to be around for your child rather than put your life at unnecessary risk?

He's a cheeky fxxker to even suggest that.
He sure as shit cannot really love you if he would suggest you put your life at risk.
I suggest you tell him pack his bags and leave for a few days while you have a serious think about your relationship.

I really think this is awful that he would even suggest this.

Unforgivable IMO.
Selfish twat.

Thanks @RampantIvy I commented on the OP’s opening two sentence line though. (As did others) if I’d pressed ‘see all’ would still only have been that one little part.
All I said is I’d talk it over/hear him out and then say no. I don’t think I said anything inflammatory, I had no way of knowing the OP would add more story, let alone almost dying.

I think MN should have a way of showing that the OP has posted again without posters having to select See All. It isn't intuitive. I only know because someone else pointed it out to me.

Do you? Would you want to discuss repeating something that had already nearly cost your life?

On the webpage it is rather obvious - if there are any further posts, a link See next is availabile at the end of the post. Plus, there is always an option to See all.

Anyway, unles you come on a very new thread, it is reasonable to expect that the poster added more and that the discussion evolved.
If the original poster hasn't come back in 8 pages, I wouldn't bother replying, they probably won't read it all.

Op - has he mentioned it again? Have you had The Chat?

This