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Original poster

suggestions on how to say "please leave now".

212 replies

cosmobrown · 29/12/2024 17:25

It's a MIL one I'm afraid.
She has form for outstaying her welcome and not realising it.

Please suggest some gentle but not too subtle phrases please!
This thread is light hearted really. (ish!)

OP posts:
Gliblet · 29/12/2024 21:36

Thisisashockerneedadvice · 29/12/2024 21:27

My autistic/ADHD son 😂 does this. He is 17, very charming but gets bored and this does actually work because it takes everyone by surprise!

Show quote history

One of my colleagues has an autistic, nonverbal nephew who, when he absolutely loves a visitor and wants them to stay forever, hides their shoes so they can't escape.

They also have a very overbearing auntie who dishes out endless advice, always knows best, talks over everyone else and 'elevenerifes' every story. Colleague's nephew has never hidden auntie's shoes and has been known to go and find them unprompted and put them in her lap so she has no trouble leaving 😁

TheBluntTurtle · 29/12/2024 21:42

RegulatorsMountUp · 29/12/2024 19:19

How does that help someone to leave? Surely they'd just keep saying yes 😄

Show quote history

I think it’s all in the tone! 😉 I haven’t had the guts to use it myself!

Hrf1503 · 29/12/2024 21:46

The Germans actually have a saying for this… translates to “I am feeling visited enough”.

Xiaoxiong · 29/12/2024 21:50

"What time is your train tomorrow? DH is taking the day off work, so he can drop you at the station. Or let me know if you want me to book you a taxi. It's been so lovely to have you, such a shame we both have to go back to work but that's life eh. Do make sure you ring us when you get home so we know you've got back safely."

stargazerlil · 29/12/2024 21:52

I bet you can’t wait to get home, what time are you going again. I know we really need to get back to our regular schedule.

RaininSummer · 29/12/2024 21:57

I have a new and inadvertently trialled method... Feed your dog a lot of broccoli around four hours before desired departure and ensure the correct end of the dog is facing the soon to be leaving guest

terracottacountryfarm · 29/12/2024 21:59

I literally just stand up from the table or whatever we've been doing and go 'right' and then hopefully they get the jist

AlisonDonut · 29/12/2024 22:00

One of you do the dishwasher, one do the hoovering and if you can, strip the bed.

terracottacountryfarm · 29/12/2024 22:00

Or I start pottering about...

Purgepossessions2025 · 29/12/2024 22:02

Get scabies? That would make me leave quick!

terracottacountryfarm · 29/12/2024 22:02

Shall we play a game of fuck off, you go first?

Owly11 · 29/12/2024 22:11

We have plans for today so it might be a good idea for you to go home today. We can drop you off if you like.

Seaworthy · 29/12/2024 22:15

Did you have an idea of which train you need to get back? We've a few appts and things planned so want to be sure we can get you to the station. Tuesday? Oh really sorry, I said we'd take ds shopping for new headphones, can we take you tomorrow instead?

Likewhatever · 29/12/2024 22:20

cosmobrown · 29/12/2024 20:37

Thanks everyone!
I should have said, she lives a long way away and has been here for a few days now, announcing that her train ticket is "open ended. So no rush to get back home."

Rookie error, letting her book her own tickets. Next year, “Oh no MIL, we insist, our treat!”

JoanOgden · 29/12/2024 22:21

"Right, now Christmas is over I'm planning a massive declutter and deep clean. I'll need to make a start with the spare bedroom, shall we see what your trains are looking like tomorrow morning?"

IdaPrentice · 29/12/2024 22:21

BettyBardMacDonald · 29/12/2024 19:45

It's so awkward. I have a former co-worker friend, really nice chap and he'd do anything to be helpful, etc., but he lives alone, always has, and NEVER wants to leave once he's engaged someone in conversation.

In the warm weather I have picked up a rake and tidied my front garden and edged him toward his car, all but opening the door of his vehicle for him.

The Sunday before Christmas we had a day out together going to antique shops and garden centres; it was quite fun but we got an early start so by the time we returned to my cottage at 6pm it was 9 hours in and I'd done all the driving, about 150 miles. I had overheard him at one antique shop regaling the proprietor with a long and involved anecdote about his former neighbours from 1967, who had an identical Santa or some such in their front window. I mean, naming the neighbours by name and relationship. "So Mrs. Muggins preferred a tree in the window but once Harold, that is, Mr. Muggins as we called him, being children, saw that Santa he had to have it in the window. Their son Johnny used to unplug it as the kids would tease him..."

When we arrived back at mine, he wanted to fetch my Christmas gift from his car and then brought it inside and sat down.

Reader, he stayed another 2.5 hours. I wanted to fling myself off a cliff. He's so nice but his conversation consists of "back in 1973 my uncle Beryl was a salesman in York and his wife died at age 37; she was a real stickler and made those girls clean morning noon and night; we were all hoping when he remarried that his new wife would be kinder to the daughters but instead she turfed them out; Rebecca became a drug addict and Jane had to drop out of uni....meanwhile my cousin Pam did marry a nice bloke but they moved to Bristol and I didn't see her again till after I retired..."

or for about the 15th rendition "...that time in 1994, or no, was it 1995? 1996? I think it was when I was driving that Ford. Anyway when me and Tom went to the West End to see Petula Clark as Norma Desmond in Sunset Boulevard. She was OK in the role but they had this special hydraulic stage, it was so mesmerizing that one hardly noticed her at some points...though I do recall her costume in the closing scene...."

I mean, if he had an anecdote that took place since 2009 or so, I would love to hear it. Poor man is so nice but his life has had few highlights and he recites them all given half a chance. I had two beers while he regaled me last week and it did take the edge off.

That reminds me of from Derry Girls 😂

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music that you love, upload original content and share it all with friends, family and the world on YouTube.

https://youtu.be/ac9EaVrMWoQ?si=m4o7Sy3apbAPoSfb

PeloMom · 29/12/2024 22:23

Aren’t you very very busy with all sort of stuff the next few days? Leave in the morning, get a workout in or go to a coffee shop read a book. Take a walk, meet a friend, etc. she’ll hopefully get bored and leave.

u3ername · 29/12/2024 22:26

cosmobrown · 29/12/2024 20:47

DH works a lot through Christmas so it's more up to me to entertain her. Kids are grown up and doing their own things. Although he is taking tomorrow off work at my request. Even he finds her annoying though!

In that case he should be the one dropping hints.
My dh would never, but he's a mama's boy. They talk (or stay quietly on the phone) for hours because neither can say shall we hang up now.

WhichPage · 29/12/2024 22:30

While I get what you are saying I really miss the olds visiting for a few days :(

I just embraced it and got in with life without ceremony in the end and things were so much better. Took her out with me places, left her at home while I went out, got the elderly lady for next door over for a mince pie and chat with her, she would muck in with the ironing or gardening and was frankly ace once we got in the
swing of things (gin penchant aside 🤣)

Delphiniumandlupins · 29/12/2024 22:32

If she doesn't go tomorrow can she even get home on Tuesday? Otherwise it could be Friday before trains are running normally!

Endofyear · 29/12/2024 22:37

Not much you can do now she's there but next time she's coming to stay, I would specify 'we'd love to have you from x date to x date, we've got plans on the Friday so you'll need to book your train for Thursday' make it clear how long the visit is for from the outset!

Original poster
cosmobrown · 29/12/2024 22:38

So far, we've had "well I might go over to Mary's (another relation) for New Year, but I'll come straight back to spend some more time with you."

OP posts:
Thunderlegs · 29/12/2024 22:39

'We're going to visit xyz tomorrow. What's the best time for us to drop you at the station?'

PeloMom · 29/12/2024 22:40

cosmobrown · 29/12/2024 22:38

So far, we've had "well I might go over to Mary's (another relation) for New Year, but I'll come straight back to spend some more time with you."

‘No thank you MIL’

Thunderlegs · 29/12/2024 22:42

cosmobrown · 29/12/2024 22:38

So far, we've had "well I might go over to Mary's (another relation) for New Year, but I'll come straight back to spend some more time with you."

You have to be quicker off the mark. 'Oh MIL sadly we have plans so that doesn't suit but maybe we can come up and visit you the following week' or whatever. 'Oh Mil that would have been wonderful but I am organising the lunch for the beaters and it won't suit.'

Also...why can your husband not just say it to her?

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