Wish adult child would bloody well go home now!

[loveawineloveacrisp]

Arrived on Xmas Eve, comes as a package with small, very needy dog (who torments my dog, not to mention shits and pees everywhere) and boyfriend. Honestly I'm happy she still wants to spend Xmas with us but FFS just go home now. The constant cooking, clearing up, cleaning, everything in the fridge being demolished (including a full bottle of my gin that the BF has supped) is just driving me mad now. I'd like my house back please.

Is anyone else just taking deep breaths until it's time for their adult kids to leave or am I just horrible?

I hope that’s a joke!

Yeah I felt exactly the same (though it was my fancy spiced rum not gin!), until they left last night and now I miss them 😂

I think you should speak to your DD. Point out that her dog needs house training properly. I hope she has cleared up after it. She shouldn’t bring it back for another visit until she has it sorted.

did she and bf bring any contribution to Xmas? Food, drinks etc?

she is your child but she is an adult. You should be able to have a chat with her where you establish a few ground rules and guidelines. Would she behave like this in someone else’s house? Would her BF just help himself to someone else’s gin if not invited to do so, and would he not consider leaving some for others? If they come to stay as adults, the should behave as adults.

haha, with cooking and clearing up (including the dog) I'd be making her do it - if she's reverting to childhood in your house, then she absolutely can be treated like one and told to clean the kitchen or make the tea!

The food demolished - I think that's par for the course with adult children returning, especially while they're still quite young. I'm a bit embarassed when I think about the horde-of-locust behaviour me and my siblings used to have on retruning "home" (these days we do our own shopping, stock up for mum and dad etc).

We've had DH's nephew here .... the sheer quanty of food, and BOOZE, that man can get through. Well, good thing he's gone - I'm cleaned out!

I don’t think you’re horrible but there’s no way I’d be able to descend on my parents without giving them a clear idea of when I leave, but then I’ll have to have train tickets booked etc so never would just go and stay for an extended period with no end in sight. I always leave on Boxing Day anyway as I crave being back to living on my own terms and cooking my own food.

I hear you! I have 2 adult children still here. We’ve had a fun few days and they contribute in terms of food and cleaning/tidying but I just want my house back!!

One lives abroad so tends to come for a week minimum ( 10 days this year) which is fair enough given travel etc. The other one only lives 10 miles away, has lovely flat and car but just split with partner so needs some TLC.

I do love seeing them but I’m knackered! Have retreated to my bedroom for a lie down :)

They're leaving tomorrow but she has a habit of changing her mind at the last minute. She's clearing up after the dog (whilst suggesting that it might have been my dog, who never has accidents in the house). They brought a bottle of champagne as a contribution towards Christmas lunch.

I've got one here eating me out of house and home.

I think you're a Saint to put up with it all 😇

Nephew was in charge of pouring drinks... that was his sole contribution. You're winning at life if they brought champagne!

@OhBling I do wonder at what stage in life that realise that they actually have to contribute?! The champagne was only brought because she was gifted it and I then suggested we could all have it on Xmas day. I had bought another bottle as well since one doesn't go very far!

Yep I’m with you op. We pull out all the stops because we love them so much but I have to admit heaving a sigh of relief when we wave them off… YANBU

Why are you allowing them to eat everything and drink your gin? Are they cleaning up after thier dog?

I am not sure but I think it was definitely more towards my late 20s/early 30s for me. But I didn't take the piss at my parents - i ate their food, drank their drink but also reverted to chidhood in other ways - followed their rules, do all the washing up etc etc.

I was a little thrown to discover that nephew had drunk most of a bottle of tequila though. That felt a step too far. Especially as he must have been having shots every time he got up to go get another beer! Bless him, he was a bit hungover the next day and did offer to buy a new bottle of tequila but I told him not to worry. He means well. Just still a bit young and thoughtless!

She is an adult. Go and speak to her. Just tell her you’re noticing that she has been quite inconsiderate and you would like the gin replaced and a bit more care from her in how she treats you during these get togethers.

Daughter and SIL have four adults home from Uni.😳. They are counting the hours until they all go back now lol 😂

This, OP
maybe she’s just oblivious

It’s a little mean but I imagine it’s frustrating if they are contributing nothing and not lifting a finger.

Did you not plan how long they would stay before they arrived? I’d probably tell them they need to start helping out or ask them when they are leaving.

indeed - self centered selfish and oblivious.

think yourself lucky, never even got a text off my adult DC never mind seen them😰

"Darling, I love seeing you, and you are very welcome but its hard to cope with the extra work and cost.

Please can you ... [specifics - replace the gin, contribute to the groceries, clean up xxx. Also, I cannot cope with the dog, so I think its best if next visit he goes into a kennel as [my dog name] is getting a bit old to cope with it too."

Two Of ours left yesterday and the last one this morning. I LOVE them coming home for Christmas but I also heave a sigh of relief when they go home and I can finally put my feet up after 3 days of fussing over them.

@loveawineloveacrisp I had a short lived 'boyfriend' years ago who insisted on bringing his revolting little king Charles spaniel that was an indoor piss and shit machine.

He brought it with him as a ''fait accompli''

When I was appalled at it pissing up his bag, and then running up my stairs actively firing out shit as it ran, he said ''But he's only a pup-peee''

The bloody thing was three years old!

My two housetrained, well trained dogs were utterly horrified.

I found out from one of the man's friends that the beastly dog has been banned from every bar in the small town in which he lived, and no one would look after it as it was completely untrained.

Horrible thing. Although...not the dog's fault.

I had it tied up close to where we were sitting all the time, as it couldn't be trusted anywhere.
It did get walks with my dogs, but how can people have dogs and not house train them and expect them to be in other people's houses?

Why is that grabby or "on the make"?