FIL wants to take my 12 week old around to visit neighbours

[Charlottef94]

We are visiting our PIL in a few days and MIL said to DH on the phone this morning that FIL
”can’t wait” to take my DS around to all their random neighbours to show him off. My baby is 12 weeks old and I feel very uncomfortable that this was stated without even asking if I, his mother would be okay with that and insinuating he would be going alone with my baby. All I can say is he will absolutely not be doing so and my baby will not be leaving my eye line. What if I wanted to keep him away from germs etc? He also hates strangers at the moment and will assume FIL is also a stranger as he likes me to be nearby whenever family are holding him at the moment. Am I being unreasonable in demanding I join any of these visits?

Just say, "No, I'm not comfortable with that."

Nope, will almost every other person being sick with something I would not allow this too.

I would be exactly the same as you

(edited for clarity)

YABU to join in the neighbour visiting nonsense. Don't let your baby go at all!

No you're not being unreasonable at all! Alot of people have flu and illnesses and there's a chance some of these neighbours will want to hold and cuddle your baby. Absolutely not.

The only way I would allow this is if I was present to make sure no-one tried to hold or kiss/cuddle the baby.

YANBU

This is your baby, not some trophy to show off.

Half the people I know have been ill over Christmas.
So that's a NO from me

I'd have just laughed "what? Like a show and tell? Is he mad?"

It wouldn’t bother me, sounds lovely. If it bothers you, just say so.

No this is a ridiculous suggestion, just say no.

They want to show off their grandchild but they are being damn weird about it.

Just tell them "No" and don't ever leave them alone with your baby unless your baby shows he likes them. Even then they shouldn't be dragging him around to visit neighbours.

Make sure your DH is on the same page as you .

YANBU. I would not allow this. Even if your DH is happy for FIL to do this, you are not so it won't be happening. Your newborn baby is not a show and tell.

Does he just want to take him for a walk in his pram and knock of a couple of peoples doors do they can see him? I can’t
see the harm in that personally.

I’d have boundaries like he doesn’t go into anyone’s house and no one holds him accept FIL etc but I couldn’t be bothered walking around with them.

It’s up to you though. If you’re uncomfortable say no.

Looks like I'm the only one thinking its no big deal?

And then everyone wanting a peek, pinch cheeks, cuddle or face right into the pram? No.

God no what about Covid , RSV etc mine is 6 months and I wouldn't allow that . Just very nicely say you aren't comfortable with that .

I'm with you....

I'm sure your DH squashed this idea and surely was just telling you along the lines of 'you wont believe what my Dad just suggested'?

YABU. You should be pleased that FiL is so proud and loving. Enjoy the chance to have a quiet cuppa for ten minutes and try to relax a bit for your own sake.

Wear baby in a sling to keep them close. I would offer to walk around to the neighbours with baby in a sling so the neighbours can see your baby without being passed around.

@Charlottef94 nope!! aint happening!

Exactly. And the baby doesn't even know the man.
I get what people are saying about him being a proud granddad, but that doesn't give him any right to go off parading her around without her mother.

Perfectly normal thing to do- except in MN world of in law hating.

A very simple "no, that's not happening" should suffice. Do not give way or be bullied by them to agree to anything you don't want to. Fil will have to grow up and stop being so selfish.

GPS like to show off their grandchildren. Even those who are PFBs.

try unclenching.