To feel a bit disappointed that he didn't get me anything for Christmas?

[Feelingabitsillyatxmas1]

I've name changed anticipating being told I'm "grabby" but I'd like some outsider perspective on whether you think I'm being unreasonable.

New boyfriend. 4 months. Had the exclusive chat and we have both said we have feelings for one another.

It was his birthday last week. I bought him a present. It didn't feel odd to do so, we've spent a lot of time together by this point.

Fast forward to Christmas, I got him a Christmas present. He hasn't got one for me (but has kept me updated about the things he's buying everyone else).

We spent yesterday together and I thought I'd at least leave with a Christmas card if not a box of chocolates or something. Nothing.

I'm feeling a bit stupid for buying things for him now 😔

AIBU (for 1) buying him gifts early on and 2) feeling the way I do now.

Is he a foreigner? Many cultures consider Christmas presents to be for children, it could be that.

Nope, he's British like me.

He mentioned last week he "was going to" get me some perfume, unprompted, but that hasn't materialised 🤣

This is how life will be, if it bothers you now end the relationship and don't drag it out until you are back here in 10 years saying he still hasn't done it.

I'd be disappointed too.
The advice I give to women in relationships is to consider 3 things

• is he kind?
• is he generous?
• how does he behave towards his mum?

It's not Christmas til tomorrow

i find it a bit odd but because the timing of the relationship i’d have probably had a chat in advance to establish that you were planning to get something. If you did they this is it, your future and what to expect.

It's not Christmas yet though. Are you expecting to see him tomorrow or Boxing day?

How do you know he hasn't got something for you tomorrow?

Yeah nah

I am always amazed at the number of women who are shagging men they don’t seem to be able to talk to.
If you want a present, tell him you expect a present.

Sorry but I'd dump him. Not grabby but my Mum always told me to avoid stingy men, and it's not going to get better.

We've no plans to meet tomorrow or boxing day as we both have family commitments, there's a possibility I might see him on Friday but it isn't set in stone.

Do people actually do that?

Same. Stingy with money = stingy with love.

Not in my experience.

He should be really excited to get you a Christmas gift- the first months of dating he should WANT to treat you. Not having money isn’t an excuse either- if he didn’t have cash, he could eg plan a walk/picnic/cheap but lovely day out for you both for Xmas. It’s the thought that’s important.

How did he react when you gave him his Christmas present? Was he surprised? Embarrassed ? Did he comment about not having one for you?

You've only been together a few months, I'd be surprised if presents would be important so early tbh.

Just hold out until tomorrow - he might just be very last minute and you’ll get an email ping through with a spa voucher tomorrow. If by the end of tomorrow nothing has materialised……. then be very disappointed in him and think about whether this goes any further or not. Don’t let it spoil your day today x

I'd dump him. If he's buying presents for others and not you, then you're not a priority. He's showing you who he is

Also, people don't usually tell their boyfriend they want a present that's just weird.

To be honest at 4 months in I probably wouldn't be expecting OR buying xmas/birthday gifts, but I would also be clear about that in the run up to the event.

No. With the right type of man this wouldn't be necessary. And the other type I wouldn't bother with.

He may yet show up with a gift. If not, ask him why not. It's a bit weird not to buy at this point if it's a serious relationship.