Disgusted by inability to delay gratification

[KeepYourHandsOutOfTheFridge]

We get the usual "special" foods for Christmas. Most of them (chocs, cake, etc) are put away upstairs, but the collection of posh cheeses are in the fridge.

I've just found out DH has eaten a big chunk of one cheese, and drunk one of his bottles of expensive drink. He says he'll go and buy replacements. I have said that is not the point.
These are expensive treats for us.
In my family, Christmas didn't start until Christmas day. DH and I discussed this, and agreed a compromise this year that we would start eating the nice stuff on Christmas Eve for a change (just us two in the eve, big family meal on the day itself).

I am disgusted - this shows a total lack of self control and ability to delay gratification - he is like a five-year-old with no self control. He is just destroying the sense of anticipation and looking forward to sharing the treats together.

Would this give you the rage?

No because we start the Christmas food when the kids break up.

I'd probably find it annoying but he's going to replace it... I'd say your reaction is pretty extreme.

@Wolfiefan Doesn't this take something away from the big day itself?

Obviously not for him and he is an adult!

These are your super restrictive rules and I would laugh if someone told me when I could eat or drink in my own home.

No. Unless it's an essential part of a planned meal, food is there to be eaten, not to sit in the fridge or cupboard until an arbitrary date.

Also, if it's his expensive drink, he can drink it whenever he likes, surely? It has nothing to do with you

Nope, we've already started on the cheese and pâté.

Might open the port this evening.

Unless there’s a back story here this seems quite an extreme view - it’s almost Xmas and lots of us jump in to the Xmas food early.

@SanFranBear
Okay so 'rage' is too strong a word. I am disappointed in him for not being able to control himself and keep the special food for the agreed special evening.

And as I said, disgusted at his lack of ability to delay gratification.

Well if you insist on treating him like a child, he might aswell act like one and eat what he likes when he likes 🤷🏼‍♀️

Assuming he makes a financial contribution to the food and drink, then no, it's not an issue. I wouldn't want anyone telling me when I could or couldn't have nice treats I'd paid or helped pay for in my own home.

Not at all. We have puddings and mince pies and cheese and crackers. Can’t eat all that on Christmas Day.

I open the food when I get it.

You can't eat absolutely everything all on Christmas Day you'll explode!

I start as soon as holidays start too so we aren’t all binging Christmas Day. Sorry but I’m with your dh, it’s the holidays!

If he is genuinely going to replace them, then no. Id be slightly annoyed but not if he was going to do what he said (which means going into the hell that is Christmas eve supermarkets).

But I was brought up where my mother was the gatekeeper to all food. Not just on special occasions but generally speaking. I was never allowed to just go and help myself to a snack, and my dad used to ask 'Is this food for eating, or are you saving it?' because she would go ballistic if we did not ask permission to access food. - Again just in the everyday. So the idea of you telling your DH off for eating something when he has promised to replace it makes me feel a bit jumpy. Which, granted, may be my issue, but it's still my reaction.

I think the run up is part of the fun to be honest and I love having extra nice bits and pieces that I wouldn't normally eat in the festive period around Christmas. I think you sound quite harsh that you're "disgusted" why shouldn't a grown man get to decide for himself what and when he should eat?

No absolutely not 😂 he's a grown adult, he can eat and drink what he likes when he likes. Life it too short for *delayed gratification" for a bit of cheese. It's the Xmas period now. Why do you get to lay the law of when he can and can't eat certain things.

Did he agree to save the food for a certain day, or is that just what you feel he should do?

If someone told me I couldn't eat cheese from my own fridge, I'd tell them to fuck off, quite frankly.

He is an adult. He is allowed to eat food.

Christmas isn’t about eating and drinking to excess (but only on a certain day). It doesn’t ’take away’ from the ‘big day’ if some cheese has gone.

”Perhaps Christmas doesn’t come from a store. Perhaps Christmas is a little bit more.”

I’m not even Christian and I’m pretty appalled…

No because it’s not up to me to police another adults gratification. Unless he’d eaten all of the cheese and drunk a bottle of something that was meant to be shared, I couldn’t care less. Actually, I probably wouldn’t care if it was meant to be shared TBH, maybe I’d care if he’d drunk a whole bottle of vodka or something in one go.

You're being weird. Do you have control issues around food?

No, this is a completely weird attitude. What are you planning to do - gorge everything on Christmas Day/boxing day? Your DH was sensible to eat some cheese/booze now. Choc and cake another day.

Everyone in my family has been eating christmas food at random when they feel like it as we are on Christmas holidays.

The "big day" is a crazy way to view christmas. You ought to view it as a period of time you spend with your family, enjoying stuff like nice food. Like your poor DH is doing. Poor fucker not allowed to have a snack in his own house.

Unless it's an intrinsic part of a planned meal who cares. Just been enjoying a few early treats!

i think you are hugely overreacting. you are adults. let him be.

No wouldn't bother me - unless it was my treat that got eaten!! Even as a child I loved waiting for threats. (i was a right weirdo!!)

If it's a money thing, the don't replenish them. All that happens then is whoever starts on the good stuff runs out of theirs early (and don't get any of mine!!)