Disgusted by inability to delay gratification

[KeepYourHandsOutOfTheFridge]

We get the usual "special" foods for Christmas. Most of them (chocs, cake, etc) are put away upstairs, but the collection of posh cheeses are in the fridge.

I've just found out DH has eaten a big chunk of one cheese, and drunk one of his bottles of expensive drink. He says he'll go and buy replacements. I have said that is not the point.
These are expensive treats for us.
In my family, Christmas didn't start until Christmas day. DH and I discussed this, and agreed a compromise this year that we would start eating the nice stuff on Christmas Eve for a change (just us two in the eve, big family meal on the day itself).

I am disgusted - this shows a total lack of self control and ability to delay gratification - he is like a five-year-old with no self control. He is just destroying the sense of anticipation and looking forward to sharing the treats together.

Would this give you the rage?

Yes you’ve got me there. I relish goading sweary people with no impulse control.

Go and do it somewhere else.

Not really - he ate a portion of his own cheese at a time of his choosing. That's just hard to get excited about. Why shouldn't he eat some cheese if he wants it?

“Sweary” 🙄 NOW you’re clutching your pearls?

Oh bless, the op is being controlling anyone defending the the op needs to eat more prunes

No, 😂

If you're in Nantes go hug the elephant and give Mrs Rolland a kiss.

You sound controlling and the way you demonise your husband and ridicule him for having such “poor” control like a child for eating food in his own home is disgusting. The way you think of him in this situation is a reflection of you and not your husband. You need to engage in therapy to get to the root of why you feel this revulsion for him not following your incredibly restrictive rules and why you feel the need to enforce them in the first place. You are ridiculous.

My delayed gratification curb says no Christmas movies or mince pies before December 1st. Then it's Chaaaaarge ...!

We start Xmas food on 1st December and build up to the big day. The build up is part of the fun.

No people need to spend all of December buying it and somehow manage to fit it all in the 24 hours of Christmas

I really can't get the logic

I'll avoid the chalice tonight with that visual memory, thanks!

Wow.

Hold up a mirror.

She’s 100% right.

I dropped the cheese off with my family, where we go for dinner, and then stay over pretty much through to the new year, to remove temptation. The cheesefest begins Christmas evening, peaks on boxing day, and I pretty much live increase and leftovers until we go home

It's just food. Hardly worth getting knickers in a twist over. My husband has nearly demolished the ice cream treat I wanted for Christmas day. Didn't say anything. It's just ice cream and he bought it. So yeah not really worth being bothered about.

@KeepYourHandsOutOfTheFridge

You don't actually like him.

and you want to do things your way, the way they were done when you were a child.

you forget that this is a different relationship and new ways happen.

I can see both sides of the argument are not necessarily without merit.
But frankly, I would understand that kind of reaction if you had arranged for a special evening and that cheese was the main special thing. But it sounds like your fridge is still crammed with other cheeses...
And even then honestly, I might point it out but then turn into a joke.

It would be different if it was something special for a dinner with guests. If I had gone though the trouble and expense to get maybe a special cake, some special wine, cheese I cannot replace, or if the steaks were gone leaving me cobbling up a not so good replacement last minute.
That said I happened to stuff a bunch of fruit in a cake, where a large slice had gone missing, and serving it to our guests, camouflaged as some creative moment in the kitchen.
I was not exactly happy to find out a slice had gone missing last minute, but there is always a solution and having a pleasant, peaceful evening, is way more important.

I think we are on box 6 of the chocolate seashells that were meant to be for Christmas! I totally disagree that people who can’t wait for self gratification aren’t successful, I’m living proof of that! It’s a running joke in our family that we will need to replace the advent calendars before the 1st December. If you want to wait until christmas day to eat the food then that’s great! If your hubby wants to dive in, then you should respect his choice. Like you said, he didn’t eat it all, so you’re still actually going to be sharing it on Christmas Day! Life is too short to sweat the little things, and it’s terribly bad for your blood pressure too!

I know that waiting certainly indicates a higher chance of success and prosperity. (marshmallow experiment)

actually, there's another perspective on that marshmallow experiment.

follow on research goes that the kids who waited for the marshmallow were from a privileged background and never needed to worry where their next meal (or marshmallow) was coming from. If they didn't have that one, in the back of their mind was the belief that another treat would be along soon.

The kids who did take the marshmallow early, were smart kids who weren't prepared to leave it to chance that they'd get their marshmallow if they waited. Not unlike their next meal. It might be too late by then so they grabbed the opportunity while they could.

so your DH is one of the smart kids who believes in taking the cheese while it's there in front of him.

Did you ask him when he wanted to eat the food or was he just supposed to do what you wanted, regardless of his preferences?

You got in a relationship with him.
You married him.

Are you not comfortable with his quirks?

Do you have an inability to pre-plan events and things like a time-sensitive embargo on special seasonal foods/drinks.

If you're asking us, the great unwashed Mumsnet community, you must have not invested much time in relationship communication skills.

I'm afraid I wouldn't have this problem- in my house only my partner and myself go into the fridge-guests are guests and will be catered to as such.
I first came across this idea everyone makes free with your fridge in the US, and it's a hard no for me.

It IS her partner!

This! You’re not the boss of him, or Christmas!

My mum used to do the thing of all food and drink could not be touched until Xmas day. Then it all got wasted cus we couldn’t eat it all in one day. Just spoilt it as we were banned from enjoying ourselves on the lead up to Christmas and then couldn’t enjoy it on the day. Difference is I was a child so followed my parents’ rules. No way would I be dictated to about when I could eat and drink ‘special treats’. Madness. Calm down!