Disgusted by inability to delay gratification

[KeepYourHandsOutOfTheFridge]

We get the usual "special" foods for Christmas. Most of them (chocs, cake, etc) are put away upstairs, but the collection of posh cheeses are in the fridge.

I've just found out DH has eaten a big chunk of one cheese, and drunk one of his bottles of expensive drink. He says he'll go and buy replacements. I have said that is not the point.
These are expensive treats for us.
In my family, Christmas didn't start until Christmas day. DH and I discussed this, and agreed a compromise this year that we would start eating the nice stuff on Christmas Eve for a change (just us two in the eve, big family meal on the day itself).

I am disgusted - this shows a total lack of self control and ability to delay gratification - he is like a five-year-old with no self control. He is just destroying the sense of anticipation and looking forward to sharing the treats together.

Would this give you the rage?

As he would disapprove of me or our children doing so. He's probably more disapproving than I am.

After a quick flick through of the posts (far too many to read in detail) there is a lot of criticism of the OP's attitude but this may be a simple case of clashing beliefs. I'm guessing the OP believes strongly that food bought for Christmas MUST NOT be consumed before Christmas Eve or Day, whereas her husband has no such philosophy and thinks anything goes if it is there in the fridge to be eaten when he feels a little peckish. Personally I don't have a problem with either approach but in a relationship surely this sort of thing needs to be discussed and a mutually agreed compromise reached?

Up to a point. I think there is an issue of boundaries here and the DH seems to have the attitude that all food is up for grabs at any time whereas the OP seems to think that food (like any family resource) needs to have a few boundaries around it.

“A family resource” 😆 He ate a chunk of cheese - he didn’t spaff the mortgage money up the wall at Ladbrokes!

.

Is this a wind up? 🤔

I hope you're enjoying all your special Christmas foods OP and that your DH can now eat what he likes in peace.

That most of society has learned that putting anticipation and pressure on having “one special day” leads to disappointment, frustration and upset.

@Edingril But Christmas STARTS on the 25th and ends on the 6th of January. The time before that is called Advent. I'm surprised this is such an alien concept on Mumsnet 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP is NOT intending to eat all of her special food in one sitting. We've broken into our stash today and will be enjoying biscuits and cider and chocolate and cheese until the 12 days are up (or the food has run out which will likely happen first divided by eight people 😂)

Merry Christmas everyone!

You are right that Christmas itself starts on the 25th of December and runs to the 6th of January, @TheBirdintheCave - but I don’t think this has to mean that there cannot be any anticipatory fun before the 25th.

As I’ve said previously, some people want to save the special things until on and after Christmas Day, and others want to start enjoying the special stuff earlier - and neither group is wrong, imo. Nor is one group morally superior to the other.

We are all different, and sometimes it is worth learning to be flexible, and accommodating the different ways others do things. We have been with ds1 and his family for Christmas this year, and they did things differently to our traditions, but we just relaxed and went with the flow - and had a brilliant day. Different doesn’t necessarily mean wrong or unenjoyable.

Is it possible, from the way that you keep talking about delayed gratification, that this is not about cheese and booze?

' and drunk one of his bottles of expensive drink. '

HIS ?

and ' bottles ' plural ?

but you say ' These are expensive treats for us. ' so was it only the cheese that was for sharing ?

or does he share HIS bottles of expensive drink

Surely you noticed him drinking it ?

OP hasn't been back to the thread kn a few days. Let's hope she is not spending this time monitoring her DR'S fridge use.

Then it's very annoying- you should emphasize you were looking forward to sharing these treats TOGETHER, and see what he says. Being disgusted with a partner's behaviour is challenging, but if this is a part of their personality, as you imply, that is more of a dealbreaker.

I couldn't imagine living with someone who thought they could dictate what and when I'm allowed to eat. You're being overbearing and controlling.

Has he been allowed any more cheese yet?

Buy more cheese, I couldn’t be mad that someone had eaten when they are hungry. Everything can be replaced

I cant knowingly have chocolate in the house without craving it every day! I'd be annoyed if it was my favourite thing in the stash but not if it was general nice stuff.

I wouldn't have said I can't abide them, @BettyBardMacDonald, but it always puzzles me. When people read the entire plot of a movie before seeing it, I always wonder: Why spoil your own fun?
I never thought about "the sense of the occasion," but maybe that's why I get irritated by people looking like slobs at a dressy event?

Yes but not that simple - if you've bought cheese ready to eat at Christmas and it's just before the big day.

surely it's a damn hassle having to go down to the supermarket again on Christmas Eve just to top up with cheese because the DH is incapable of waiting and you're all locked down ready for the festivities to begin.

Hide any food that you are keeping for a special occasion meal.

I wouldn't have said I can't abide them, , but it always puzzles me. When people read the entire plot of a movie before seeing it, I always wonder: Why spoil your own fun?

That isn’t a comparable scenario. You can only discover a twist in a film plot once, so yes, you’d have a different experience if you’d read a spoiler. Whereas if you enjoy cheese, surely you enjoy it just as much on 23 December as you do on Christmas Day? What fun have you spoiled in this scenario?

Oh for goodness' sake let him have a bit of cheese if he wants - so long as he doesn't eat all of it!
My mother was like this - thought waiting was morally superior even if it was pointless. It wasn't a good lesson.

I guess it depends how much of a controlling and/or miserable person you are I guess. It a piece of a block of cheese eaten so for me I’d let my family eat. But not all of us will feel the same.