Disgusted by inability to delay gratification

[KeepYourHandsOutOfTheFridge]

We get the usual "special" foods for Christmas. Most of them (chocs, cake, etc) are put away upstairs, but the collection of posh cheeses are in the fridge.

I've just found out DH has eaten a big chunk of one cheese, and drunk one of his bottles of expensive drink. He says he'll go and buy replacements. I have said that is not the point.
These are expensive treats for us.
In my family, Christmas didn't start until Christmas day. DH and I discussed this, and agreed a compromise this year that we would start eating the nice stuff on Christmas Eve for a change (just us two in the eve, big family meal on the day itself).

I am disgusted - this shows a total lack of self control and ability to delay gratification - he is like a five-year-old with no self control. He is just destroying the sense of anticipation and looking forward to sharing the treats together.

Would this give you the rage?

Life is for living
It's Christmas now.
School have broken up
A lot of work places closed Friday.
We've been having mince pies for pudding , for a week - and jolly well enjoyed every bite.
Christmas Day I'll cook a lovely big meal and then after we'll pass out present.,,, and then settle down in front of the tv with good wine/ Baileys / chocolates and more mince pies.
Having some of the good stuff now, will not deter any enjoyment from the day.
In fact a good Christmas sets you up , to see you through Winter.

Honestly I hope it’s not, as anything to do the penis and cheese puts me right off the thought of cauliflower cheese in the next few days 🤢

If it does for you then that's a you problem, it's bloody Christmas!

This, why do you get to dictate what happens?

We have a couple of special things only for Christmas day but no one can all the food they buy all in one day

Your post reads like my mother talks about food and gaining enjoyment from food, and she's had an eating disorder for 40 years.

Oddly restrictive rules: Christmas not being until Christmas day, him having to live by that becaus you did, and you 'compromising' by one whole day? Food being rationed out? It's a festive time of year - I don't see why he has to abide by your extremely portioned out version of Christmas joy, and I think your response is so disproportionate as to make me wonder what else is going on for you here. Fine if you didn't want him to start eating it on December 1st or something but it'll all be over, by your measure, in 48 hours. Let the fella live.

To be disgusted by this is a lot. Is there any reason by you have this feeling? Growing up, was this a rule in your home? I could imagine being irked but not disgusted. Somewhat extreme.

Poor chap has some cheese and is branded "disgusting"?!

You sound bonkers.

You sound controlling as fuck.

Bollocks to that.

LTB.

Or, you know, let a grown man choose when to eat his own food.

A chunk of the good cheese for the cheese board isn’t a tub of Celebrations. It’s the centrepiece of the cheese course.

Why would it matter if someone ate some Christmas cake early, exactly?

I bought myself a beauty advent calendar and opened the whole thing in November. Thank goodness we're not married!

No, OP, it wouldn't give me the rage.
It's just myself and my husband. I honestly don't see the point of saying "You can have this or that a day later". In fact, I wouldn't think about it.
My husband is significantly older and doesn't eat a lot of stuff, but when he wanted a bit of smoked salmon, hot mince pie and a bit of "Yule log",
I was happy to dish it out.
I know it's a different situation, but your husband is a human being and this is (presumably) nice food.
Didn't take treats from the kids, so take it easy.
😉

Mmmm cheese.

I’m pretty surprised how one-sided the comments are. I’m with you on this! We’ll have mince pies etc beforehand but if we’ve bought special posh bits like fancy cheeses and hams and things, we don’t touch them til Christmas Day (or at least Christmas Eve dinner). Anticipation is part of the fun.

Let him enjoy his Christmas

Personally I think you're right. Even my 17 yr old ASD kid is restraining himself. Despite circling the tub of chocolates like a shark. I've said he can open them but he's adamant they're for Christmas.

I wouldn't make him replace them. He's had his.

Clearly it's not "part of the fun" for everyone, though.

Honestly, if someone tried to tell me I couldn't have any ham today but I could have it on Wednesday, I'd think they were losing the plot.

I'm not. It's all about instant gratification on here

We ate almost all the roses as "dessert" yesterday. I just replaced them.

I thought you were going to make a wider point about delayed gratification & society in general (as in instant access to so much has changed the way we consume and not always for the better).

I totally understand the joy of waiting. I do.

But...I also understand the temptation of seeing a special treat in the fridge just waiting for you and just caving. Especially around food. It is just cheese & a drink & it can be replaced.

I think that this isn't about the food though. This is about him breaking an agreement which mattered to you. Have you told him that, as opposed to making it about the cheese/drink? I'm only asking as it would be very easy for him to potentially misunderstand it as being about the cheese instead of the agreement and the sharing a special time together doing something that's a treat.

Disgusted!! lol
you sound judgey and as if you don’t like dh. I would never dream of judging my dh on when he chooses and what he chooses to eat. Sorry, yabvu

I started on the posh port and cracked open the cheese at the weekend. Delayed gratification is a thing but actually just giving in to temptation was deliciously decadent.

Team Husband here. I enjoy eating nice food much more than I enjoy the anticipation of eating it, and cheese doesn't stay in peak condition forever.

Tell you what… why not eat a mahoosive chunk of cheese, crack open your expensive bottle, enjoy it and live a little. You never know - you might even enjoy being a rule breaker 🤪