bedtime for teens. who is being unreasonable

[elfshenanigans]

DH has a stressful job and needs his sleep. I work part time but still stressful. I am also the primary carer for our DC (teens with SN, aged 15 and 17). I do almost all the school runs, cooking, cleaning etc. DH gets up early to go to the office gym and he needs his sleep. He doesn't like if the DC and I watch TV or are up late. He demands that all phones are off by 9 pm and that everyone (including me) is in bed. It causes regular arguments. The DC are off school now for Xmas and I was watching a movie with DC1 and we had to stop. Is this normal? I think it's too early esp in the school hols. What is normal for others?

It's not unreasonable for teenagers to stay up as late as they want in the holidays, so long as they are not being noisy.

I go to bed about 7pm latest to read, and am up at 4.30/5am. Strangely enough, I don't police anyone else's behaviour. My son (early 20s) had been staying up to 3am this past week. No problem.

He is autistic, and like your sons, OP, he is a lovely and gentle soul. I agree, it is terrible that people ascribe any selfish or abusive behaviour as being down to being ND.

No offence intended apologies. I just hate people throwing it around when people are really struggling with ND

No OP this isn’t normal. If he needs his sleep and wants to go to bed early that’s fine. Reasonable would be to ask you to turn the telly down a bit and shut the living room door so it doesn’t disturb him. That would be a reasonable accommodation.

making his wife and two teenagers go to bed at 9pm every day is neither normal nor reasonable.