DP not wanting to drive my DD to hospital to say goodbye to her dying dad

[Ifinkyourefreaky]

My ds 25 and dd 16 dad died yesterday, he's my exh. His diagnosis was 6 weeks ago and he went downhill rapidly. My DP of 7years had been doing lifts to and from hospital as he's the only one that drives out of us all.
My dd lives with me and ds lived with his dad.
My dp was already in a mood with me yesterday morning and then last minute through in that we needed to get my dd to the hospital ASAP before her DF died as she really wanted to say goodbye to him and he had only a couple of hours left if that.
My dp didn't want to take her said she shouldn't be there to see him die it will scar her for life, It resulted in her crying and shouting 'I need to see my dad to say goodbye' and he said to her he shouldn't have to be dictated to by a little girl.
He relented, complained on the way to hospital that he's just a taxi driver for everyone and he doesn't have to be doing this ect..... He dropped us at the hospital....30min drive and told us to find our own way home.

I'm I being unreasonable to think that if he was annoyed/angry he should have just kept his mouth shut and sucked it up for one more day, as he made the whole thing so much more traumatic for my daughter.

I kept saying to him, this is not the time for you to be venting at us now can you please stop.

I can't speak to him or see him right now, I'm so angry with him. He doesn't live with us BTW.

Leave the bastard. He is a cunt.

That’s truly awful. If I were you, I’d never see or speak to him again, never mind just for now. Have your daughters back here, she needs you.

He is you chauffeur not your partner, so maybe he has a point?

Why don’t any of you drive?

Unless there is some serious mitigating circumstances (and I can't think what they might be) then that was unimaginably cruel of him. I couldn't get past that treatment of my DD and would end the relationship.

He might have felt fed up of being treated like a taxi especially if it's been pretty constant for the last 6 weeks but as you say that was not the time to make the point

I mean I can see why he is annoyed at being the only driver but that was absolutely not the time to bring it up. He also should have been so much kinder to your DD - her dad was dying! I’d leave him, no one needs someone with that lack of compassion.

I don’t think your DD will forgive him for his attitude but taxis are available.

I couldn't be with someone so cruel to my children on one of the worst days of their lives. What happens now?

Well done for spectacularly missing the point

If he’s been driving her there and back multiple times then he was probably fed up, especially if he felt like he had no choice. He’s not a taxi, he doesn’t have to drive her.

But it wasn’t the time for him to refuse, he should have taken her and then brought it up with you afterwards.

Leave him. He is a bastard.

He doesn't live with us BTW. Thank fuck for that, at least you won't have to get him to leave. Put him to one side, your children need you more at this time.

Not really. This was not the time to lose the plot, but I can see how someone who doesn’t even live with them would tire of being the taxi driver.

I think you should leave him. I think there is no return from that.

What a horrible man. The death of your father will be imprinted on your brain and having your step dad do that on the morning of his death! I am lost for words but absolutely know this would be the end for me. He shown his true colours and has zero empathy. What a pathetic human moaning about a lift and being inconvenienced by a 16 year old about to say good bye to her dad. I mean at the first grumbles I would have ordered my daughter an uber/asked a friend. I hope your children are ok.

You should have taken her yourself and avoided her exposure to this absolute bastard. Last thing she needed.

I’d drive a stranger off the street to say goodbye to their father.

Leave the twat

This is clearly how he feels, so part of me feels bad for him. But I am taking my driving test next month so hopfully I'll pass and he won't be put upon anymore and I can return the favours when he needs to go places. Just at the moment I'm reliant on him.

You should have taken your daughter by taxi. However I couldn’t get past what he said so relationship would be over for me.

I can't imagine ever being annoyed at that time at being the only driver, it's no excuse AT ALL. I'd drive my neighbour to hospital for weeks if their loved one was dying never mind a step child. I don't think I could be with someone who lacked empathy towards my child at such a time.

Really!!??

Jesus Christ.

Bin him and book yourself some driving lessons. He’s not a kind person and has made a very upsetting situation all about himself with no consideration for what your poor dc are going through. Never give someone like that any element of control / power over you because they will abuse it as and when they feel like it.

People say the wrong thing at the wrong time so it depends if he usually makes things about him or withholds stuff, saying that it sounds like he’s done a lot for you and everything is highly charged when someone is terminally I’ll so I don’t know