Is this enough for Christmas??

[FootballGrump]

Every year, “Father Christmas” brings our children one gift. One gift only… it could be a scooter or a lego set or a Tonybox or similar, they are still young and their taste is not extravagant.
Both sets of grandparents also get one gift per child that goes under the tree, typically something smaller (a dolly, a toy car etc).
In total, each child will have 3 or max 4 gifts to open on Christmas day. One “main” gift plus 2-3 smaller ones from close relatives. Plus a stocking full of bits and bobs.

We think this is ample and our children are delighted with it. Most people these days seem to spoil their children way more so I guess my AIBU is regarding what to do now my eldest is aware enough to start comparing with friends.
Some friends have hinted they think we don’t give our children enough toys.
I disagree, I think they are very fortunate and I already feel they don’t have enough respect for their toys (breaking things, losing the small parts, not putting stuff away). I remember being really attached to my toys and treasuring them, I would like to see more of that in our household.

Absolutely wish I'd taken my own advice on this. Which is to have done exactly what you have said.
I can confirm I have not and they have a stack of stuff each - nothing expensive really (they're only little) but far too much.

Sounds utterly miserable

I think it depends what the "bits and bobs" are in the stocking. IMO a main present, plus things to keep them occupied during the Christmas holidays (board game, arts and crafts etc), is perfect - along with practical things. Maybe like clothes that they'd need anyway, and use Christmas as an opportunity to wrap them up.

I really hate "something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read" shit, but it's close to what I actually think kids should get.

I don't agree with spoiling children but this seems odd to me. DDs dad and I are separated and we both buy our own gifts. This year we have gone in together on a Nintendo Switch. As well as this, I have bought her about 8 extra gifts averaging between £10 and £20. He usually gets the same if not more. I'm not saying this is the right way at all, but anything else would feel "not enough for me".

I disagree, I think they are very fortunate and I already feel they don’t have enough respect for their toys (breaking things, losing the small parts, not putting stuff away). I remember being really attached to my toys and treasuring them, I would like to see more of that in our household.

What's the point of this thread then?

To get everyone to slag off parents who give their kids more, under the thin veil of "What shall I do now my eldest is old enough to compare to friends"?

Just do you and yours and other will do their own thing.

It sounds perfect. You're giving a sizeable gift and there are additional ones plus stockings.

We're the same except we receive more additional gifts from relatives and friends. This will definitely reduce with age.
Most of our friends do the same.

I just can't fathom the quantity if things people list as higting their children on here. Do they live in mansions to store it all, to start with? We struggle enough.

Could you elaborate a bit please?
Why do you think it’s miserable?
I’m genuinely curious and posting here to understand other perspectives.

Just sounds really shit tbh.

If they are happy with what they get then that’s great. I wonder if as they get older they will realise that most other children do get more than that?

I’m not here to slag people off. Genuinely curious.
Also getting to the point where we don’t have many Christmases left, (or at least not many with the children still believing Father Christmas exists) so I’m keen not to miss anything I’d regret later.

If you and your children are happy then that’s fine , it wouldn’t work for me

Also you must be unsure of your decision if you are posting here?

I agree with you. But I get mine things they need sock knickers new pjs and then chocolate treats - things I’d buy anyway only wrapped in a stocking.

Kids do have too much these days and it’s great now mine are older and appreciate tradition over gifts.

2 haven’t asked for anything!

Of course it’s not miserable. It’s a good number of things that they can actually enjoy and play with rather than forget about completely in the midst of a huge orgy of present opening. Materialistic children who are taught that love correlates to piles and piles of stuff will be much more miserable in the end.

I also don’t really believe that children compare the numbers of presents they get.

Assuming you don't have money worries, I think it's a bit mean to give your own child a single present and a stocking. Half a dozen or so small presents wouldn't be a huge pile but would be more in the spirit of Christmas.

Buy more shit then if you think it'll make them happy? 🤷‍♀️

That's what your friends are doing with their DC.

Well it's not much is it OP.
Where's the excitement of a big pile of presents .

It’s miserable because Christmas for us is about the joy and excitement. It’s like no other day of the year where they can make wishes and actually see them come true. They can also squeal in excitement at the surprises under the tree and the anticipation of what it’s going to be. Mine look forward to Christmas for months. Yours does just sound like a pretty average day with a couple of new bits which is pretty sad tbh.

🙄
I guess you’re not on this thread to be helpful 😂

It’s up to you if you’re all happy.

I probably do get a bit too much, but I always remember getting quite a fair bit as a child, we didn’t have loads of money, but Christmas was special. We weren’t spoilt or materialistic, christmas was a joy

Agreed, most kids don't even count them.

If they're going to compare anything it's what they got, not how much.

"What did you get for Christmas?" - "I got a PS5 and VR headset. Why, what did you get?"

"Me? I got a jigsaw and a colouring book".

So you do anything other than open gifts Cheap,ugly, tat at Christmas?

You speak about how your presumably young children play with their existing toys as if they are museum pieces - newsflash children will break and lose things, indeed as adults do but obvs much more likely to happen with young children. I'm not a fan of piles of stuff but to me your approach seems very prescriptive and joyless. Gift giving for children at Christmas is about fun. They aren't going to be spoilt by having a few more gifts. People who struggle to afford Christmas would be beating themselves up about not being able to afford more. We had very little growing up and a large family, my mother saved all year to give us a great, happy Christmas with as many gifts as she could afford. Maybe it's your post but your tone comes across to me as mean and resentful

I agree with you OP, but sadly we appear to have gone past the point of no return with this, or at least for the time being. Children are given way too much when they're small, then as they get bigger parents feel obliged to get bigger and more expensive gifts, to the point where nothing is REALLY appreciated. Then as young adults they continue to be spoiled, and given everything their hearts desire, and some that they don't even know they want, until it's given to them. I do appreciate that not all parents are in a position financially to do this, but believe that if they were, they would likely follow suit, as we all want to give our children the top brick off the chimney if we can and they express a desire for it. However, we fail to see, for the most part, that this is NOT what they NEED! This behaviour has lead to a nation of over indulgence, in just about everything, and now the planet is suffering because of it.

However, finally, a relatively small percentage are starting to realise that instead of keep buying, buying, and buying some more, we can actually mend things, or replace them with things that others have had before us. I'm therefore hoping that given time, this will push us back to the old ways of making the most of the things we have, and not constantly buying new. Whether this will be mainly due to the damage we have done, and continue to do to the world around us, or because people are struggling more and more to make ends meet, I don't know, but I do think it will be a good thing for humanity, if it happens.