Is this enough for Christmas??

[FootballGrump]

Every year, “Father Christmas” brings our children one gift. One gift only… it could be a scooter or a lego set or a Tonybox or similar, they are still young and their taste is not extravagant.
Both sets of grandparents also get one gift per child that goes under the tree, typically something smaller (a dolly, a toy car etc).
In total, each child will have 3 or max 4 gifts to open on Christmas day. One “main” gift plus 2-3 smaller ones from close relatives. Plus a stocking full of bits and bobs.

We think this is ample and our children are delighted with it. Most people these days seem to spoil their children way more so I guess my AIBU is regarding what to do now my eldest is aware enough to start comparing with friends.
Some friends have hinted they think we don’t give our children enough toys.
I disagree, I think they are very fortunate and I already feel they don’t have enough respect for their toys (breaking things, losing the small parts, not putting stuff away). I remember being really attached to my toys and treasuring them, I would like to see more of that in our household.

I can tell you that from my own end. I will be honest I’ve thought about this a lot when I see people being excessive.

I get a rush when I give gifts to my children. This means that it’s about me, what I get from it and it’s not really about the kids feeling.. A dopamine/good feeling rush. I can tell myself it’s because they are happy but they are happy with less things, it would be ME who feels they need more, not the kids. And it’s ME who gets the feel good rush seeing them open things and seeing their face. When I realised this I started to think about other things, what really makes my kids happy rather than how it makes me feel

Sorry OP but it sounds depressing. I bet they’re wooden toys too and the stockings have a protractor set or calculator in them.

It’s all about the fun of opening. Wrap some books, a selection box, playdoh. A pile of presents is what it’s about not this minimalist dreary approach. Sorry.

I personally wouldn't want to get such a small amount of gifts for my child, especially if I could afford more.

Quality should always trump quantity. I used to buy a handful of really nice, games, toys etc for my OC and I had a friend who would buy her OC of similar age tons of useless crap. It took her forever to wrap it all and her lad actually got bored opening so much. Quite sad.

So you your children not have board games, jigsaws, craft sets etc? You must buy throughout the year and just not save it up for a bigger pile at Christmas. That or your kids has like 4 age appropriate toys??

Can I ask when you say the grandparents give one small gift each is this at your request? I love the excuse of Christmas to spoil my grandchildren but then I only have two.

I agree with you , I think if they get a few suitable toys / art and craft supplies / games / books periodically throughout the year then one gift and a stocking plus gifts from relatives it is enough , especially when they’re young .

My children got more ( because that’s what my husband wanted to do ) but we did gradually cut back on number of items and got them what they really wanted , a few things they needed + a stocking

This sounds perfectx

I love to model generosity to my DC at Christmas. The fact 'you' don't get your DC anything for Christmas probably seems really mean especially once they find out most parents get their children several gifts.

I agree there is a balance to be struck. But I think you have gone to far to the mean side.

And for the record I buy my children several gifts none of which are shit, tat or 'stuff'!

Ours would get one from Santa, 3 or 4 from us depending on size/cost plus around £25 each in today's money on little things in stockings. Relatives and friends gifts were extra. As they got older and developed more expensive tastes the Santa gift got dropped and they only had ours plus the stocking. I think 'something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read' is excellent advice but if they wanted something really techy and expensive we would scale back to token level on the other gifts.

Christmas isn’t Christmas for us if the stocking ain’t packed out and filled to the brim then some on the floor around the bottom of it, it’s hearing the excitement and seeing their faces light up and showing us what Santa has brought them. I have great memories of Christmas from when I was a kid and still remember that excitement and sharing it with my siblings and that’s what we all do now for our children.

I personally would feel a bit joyless and stingy doing this. If you don't have the money though, that's different.

Gosh, that is miserable.

Same.

Growing up we always had a good pile of presents to open but within that was always a good few bits we had asked for in our Christmas lists as well as books, craft sets, pyjamas, new clothes and shoes which always seemed to be the norm with my friends too. We weren't well off but also never went without and it was down to saving/buying stuff throughout the year and being savvy. As I've got older I've heard more talk of 'filler presents' or 'wrap ups' which is things like socks, smelly sets, pyjamas that fill out the few gifts that have actually been asked for and build the excitement of having that bigger pile of presents without being too expensive.

We have about 25 presents for DS to open but most of them are silly things like a bottle of hp sauce (which he loves) and a wastepaper bin for his bedroom, some packets of sweets and chocolate, a hook for coats for his bedroom, a pack of black pens for school etc.

2 main presents which is some controllers for his switch’s and a cricket bat.

5 presents costing less then 20 quid (3 of them much less) .

5 present like some shower gel and deodorant. A stocking and then the silly stuff

we have a giggle while opening and some fun

The true meaning of Christmas is having the biggest pile of presents under the tree for your Christmas morning Facebook post.

If your kids are happy then fine, keep it as it works and its a lot less pressure. Mine have always had a big pile, but no more than £300 worth each. Might seem a lot, but some of my friends spend a lot more. My kids are 16, 20 and 31 now and none are spoilt at all. My ex always told me they’d grow up spoilt as I got them too much (he doesn’t celebrate due to his religion) but that couldn’t be further from the truth. They never ask for anything and are always happy with what they receive. As a child I had a big pile, probably more than equivalent of £300 in today’s money as I always had a big item such as a bike, a hi-fi, a TV for my bedroom, all of which weren’t cheap in the 80’s. I also grew up not to be a spoilt brat! It’s just a part of Christmas for me for the kids to have lots to open. Each to their own.

I only ever had one gift from my parents but I also got a smaller gift from my nan, vouchers from two elderly aunts, a small gift from my godparents, and a further two presents from close friends of my parents. So 7 in total and it felt like loads. TBH my memories of Christmas as a child are more related to the atmosphere, the food, the silly games and just the general fun.

I just wish mine a Merry Christmas and give them a cheery wave. They're happy with that.

Santa brought 2 full sacks each to my kids. They are only little once.

Piczures of what I have for my children age 10 and 9. In addition to these unwrapped piles one has a bike and the other an RC car. They both also have a cuddly toy that can be heated in microwave like a hot water bottle, tickets to an event linked to their hobbies and a terry's chocolate orange plus a craft kit.

This! This is just about look at me we don’t spoil our child and the rest of you wasters do! I personally am an in between DS gets too much spent on him probably, only child but not that many parcels really not in comparison, but DH gets a lot too and I would never dictate to grandparents what they should get.

I think it just depends what their main present is and what you can financially afford. We've always told ours that mummy and daddy send some money to father Christmas to make the toys he wants to bring them which is why some kids get some things or more things that others don't and also why we donate toys every year for boys and girls who dont get anything. If ours were getting something like new bikes for, instance we would get less stocking fillers or other bits and bobs because the bikes are more expensive but I would still want to get them a few other things to play with otherwise christmas would be boring for them as they're not likely to be out on their bikes all day in typical Christmas day weather. I don't think your stingy and it actually sounds like a nice non materialistic day as long as you're doing some nice things with them on the day but personally I like to give a bit more without going completely overboard. As they get older and no longer believe in father Christmas, start asking for things like laptops or latest tech they will definitely be getting less but most of their bits now aren't pricey and keep them entertained like games, colouring books, stories etc. Just do what works for you comparison is a joy thief!

FC does not need to bring stocking fillers or craft sets. It's easy to spend £100 on things that will never be used, or used once. Realising this was life changing. The only stocking type things I ended up buying were "a lump of coal" soap one year and chocolate. Small practical things went in the stocking with a couple of gifts from FC in lieu of the £100 of worthless tat.