Is this enough for Christmas??

[FootballGrump]

Every year, “Father Christmas” brings our children one gift. One gift only… it could be a scooter or a lego set or a Tonybox or similar, they are still young and their taste is not extravagant.
Both sets of grandparents also get one gift per child that goes under the tree, typically something smaller (a dolly, a toy car etc).
In total, each child will have 3 or max 4 gifts to open on Christmas day. One “main” gift plus 2-3 smaller ones from close relatives. Plus a stocking full of bits and bobs.

We think this is ample and our children are delighted with it. Most people these days seem to spoil their children way more so I guess my AIBU is regarding what to do now my eldest is aware enough to start comparing with friends.
Some friends have hinted they think we don’t give our children enough toys.
I disagree, I think they are very fortunate and I already feel they don’t have enough respect for their toys (breaking things, losing the small parts, not putting stuff away). I remember being really attached to my toys and treasuring them, I would like to see more of that in our household.

Assuming that the big present is one they want it sounds absolutely fine.

We're another family who have got into the habit of buying toys/books etc throughout the year so there isn't the need to give loads of extras at Christmas. Especially when he was younger and toys are needed to help a child's development we weren't going to keep something back for several months when it would be useful now.

I haven't counted but he will probably get 4 or 5 presents off us and then twice as much again off other family and friends. It will feel like a lot to him when he opens it.

I would only buy your children additional presents if you had found it really difficult to choose between two presents and had the money to buy and the space to keep both.

On the fence here,but on balance I would add a wrapped pair of PJs maybe art's and crafts, not big presents but something to open that's more than after the big present. It would make them up to five or six.

Stocking presents should not be wrapped..

We do this @SwanRivers . Obviously we didn’t buy clothes for them at Christmas when they were small but we do now buy necessities and have done since they were early teens
so toiletries
socks
clothes
trainers / shoes

now they are at Uni they get
large marmite
large nutella
large Italian dressing one son likes
toiletries and set of toothbrushes
one son has asked for a tongue cleaner and some black and white 35 mm film

All necessities

You do what is right for you and your family OP. Others do what is right for them and their family. Usually this flows from our own childhood experiences. Christmas is what you make it for your family, not what other people think you should do!

I’m sure your kids will love their gifts.

I didn’t say it sounded shit but I did say a bit joyless - but to be clear it’s not the amount of presents that makes me feel that, more the sort of reluctance that comes across from the OP. Someone else said it reads like OP resents the frivolity and I think that’s what I was responding too as well. Giving the child a small number of gifts when you could afford a little more, doing it because you think it’s the morally superior choice and expecting them to be so incredibly grateful that they treasure their few gifts for the foreseeable.

I know that’s probably an exaggeration but that is a little bit the sense that came across when I was reading the post. And I think it’s very different to giving a small number of gifts because that’s the most you can do, but giving more willingly and not as some sort of moral lesson.

Thank you, and the "a bit shit" wasnt you no, and it wasnt you I referring to in my post. Should have made that clear, sorry.

Depends on age of kids, there are plenty who just love seeing their name on a present and unwrapping it, doesn't matter what it is or even if just a household item or a banana wrapped up. If they're that age they just want a big pile, the bigger the better, but you don't need to spend much at all when they don't care what's inside.

Well said Pyong
Im surprised by a lot of comments on this thread. Usually MNs would be shocked at giving kids masses of presents and start talking about how spoilt they are.
This thread seems the reverse to the norm.
I wish you and your kids a lovely Christmas!

My boys just loved the boxes when they were small. 😆

I do buy books for Christmas. Not standard fiction ones, for older child lovely special science books or National Geographic books, or special encyclopaedias. Some of them are books that she will hopefully treasure for a long time. My kids also get practical things like pyjamas, or clothes, and not “just” toys. We also give vouchers or tickets to special events for older child eg uncle gaver cirque du Soleil tickets. Generally I agree with you though not to overwhelm kids with toys and there is an insane amount of overspending on plastic tat going on.

I personally think it sounds pathetic and miserable I try to atleast get 10 presents from myself her dad gets her around the same a little bit less maybe and then my mum gets her 2/3 my other family get her 1-2 so she will end up with 20/25 presents although it was her birthday 10 days ago and she got 25 presents then too but they were all Barbie w e princess related this time it’s scooter babies baby items etc etc.

That’s what we used to get and it was enough. I remember being thrilled with the stocking full of smaller bits and pieces. Under the tree was one bigger or main present from out parents and also a couple from grandparents and aunt.

Just because children open up multiple presents such as chocs, cheap board games, hair ties, etc will not make them materialistic or unappreciative of the meaning of Christmas.

Your very own example of having a wonderful time of sharing memories with family will be what they remember. It is up to you to model that and that's what they will remember it isn't about how many gifts they receive. They really will not become materialistic individuals by recieving them, if you get the family time right.

They might also be able to say "oh wow, I got a selection box, card, game, hair tye, pjs (insert your preferred items here)" when they are in the playground rather than just the few gifts they got. Most kids will have several stocking fillers of no consequence (to the parents) that they will mention.

I don't remember ever knowing the amount of presents my friends got. Nor do I remember any complaints from my kids. Sure there may be a 'Johnny got a Switch for Christmas' but other than that they seemed happy with their gifts.
And I'd never comment on the amount a friend gave their kids - how rude!

I just can’t believe some of these comments

You do you. There’s no right or wrong.

I enjoy nothing more than buying for my daughter - I will hold my hands up and say I buy everything I can think of that she would like. I do it because I love the joy of giving, and I would hate to restrict myself to only buying X number of presents. But I don’t do it for show or for social media or to keep up with anything or anyone else, I just do what works for us and you should do the same.

We did something very similar, main gift, a couple more and a stocking, plus a few gifts from relatives it is quite a large stocking and though DS is an adult we still fill it. This year it has PJ and pants plus beers and lots of snacks.

That main gift has varied, one year it was everything to build a very fast gaming PC. It cost 1.5k about 12 years ago.

In our house it was always about the joy of coming downstairs to see big piles of gifts, a sleigh full of prezzies, stuff under the tree, etc.

To this day mine and my partner's families do morning prezzies (to each other and from Santa for the kids), table prezzies with dinner and family presents while everyone is together either before/after food.

Piles of wrapping paper, happy kids and good vibes. It's the one time of the year everyone gets spoiled, might as well make the most of it!

We go OTT at Christmas. There's no right or wrong.

You have a sleigh. Does Santa leave Rudolf too 😳

I've thought about this thread for a while tonight. I have to be honest, and each to their own, but I actually feel sorry for them coming down to about 4 presents on Christmas morning.

You buy Christmas books so that you can read stories all month? So they hear stories about Christmas that include children getting presents from family and Santa, and that probably have lovely illustrations of trees and gifts, but then their own Christmas is just three or so presents each?

That’s… wow. That’s certainly not something I’d ever do to a child.

I think it's great OP. We do similar- 3-4 gifts. I struggle as always had a pile growing up and equate that to being magical. It's not though it's blind consumerism that's destroying the planet. Looking back it's not the toys I remember that made Christmas magical - it was everything else and being together as a family.