To be mildly annoyed by people who don’t know what they would like for Christmas?

[MyNewWife]

Or birthday…

Unashamedly materialistic, my Pintrest Wanties board is always full with clothes, cosmetics, homewares etc. I always have a list of places I would like to visit and food or drink to try. Books to read, performances to attend, museums and exhibitions and so on. Life would feel dull and uninspiring for me without having something to look DP forward to and I also truly enjoy picking good items and looking after them. And I treat myself all the time, so it’s not a scenario opposite to “I just buy myself what I want, so I just don’t know what I want now”

I can’t understand how people in my close circle say “I am not sure” or “I don’t really know” when asked if there is anything special they would enjoy as a gift from me. It’s not being polite or modest. They genuinely seem not to have a clue. Would love to hear from someone’s who can’t name a present - what actually happens in your world, are you really content to the point of being happy to receive whatever? Or is a hint that you want cash?

Totally agree, adult gift buying is a minefield.
But I was shot down in flames when I suggested gift buying for adults was should be consumables only on another thread.

However some adults are easier to buy for than others, those with new hobbies are brilliant for a few years, beginners kit then they upgrade to better kit that lasts for a long time and don't really need anything.

There are also adults whose hobbies, don't really require kit. There's a limit to how much Football or yoga stuff you can buy.

Then there are people at different stages in life young kids with little time for hobbies. Older people not fit for their hobbies.

Definitely seems that way about the thought through process.

I really don’t understand why some must buy a gift for someone when the receiver is practically begging/telling them not to.

The only time I feel a bit off about being told not to buy someone a gift is because they tell me not to buy one because they haven’t bought me one and I dislike them making it transactional when I don’t care if they haven’t gotten me a gift, but I still respect their wishes and not get them one.

”Wanties” is the most vile expression I think I’ve ever heard.

And what is it with everyone saying “in my circle” on here at the moment?

1. Maybe they don't want more "stuff" for the sake of it?
2. Maybe they have enough money to buy their own "stuff" and don't really expect it for Christmas?
3. Maybe they don't carry a list of "wanties" around with them in their head or on their phone ready to drop a suggestion on people at will
4. Maybe the stuff they want is more expensive than they feel comfortable asking people to buy for them?

I think your attitude is hidebound and a bit daft. I'm not anti-materialistic and there's plenty of "stuff" I like (and would normally buy for myself) but I don't have a list of things in my head at any given time to reel off to people.

It seems very literal minded and simplistic to expect other people to be exactly like you.

I don’t like presents. I buy what I want and am very selective in my purchases; if I then find something doesn’t make me happy it goes straight to the charity shop.

Don’t want money or vouchers either thanks, you’re just purchasing an obligation to buy you something back!

Let’s blow the money on lunch or a day out instead.

That's definitely me. I don't like surprises, least of all having to feign pleasure at some well-intentioned object I really don't like or want. I am perfectly happy to buy my own things.