How long after death of partner before dating?

[GallyGaff]

I know you will say "it's different for everybody" and "when you're ready" but too soon seems disrespectful.

We were together for 20 years. He died 8 months ago.

Would you judge a relative/ friend who was looking to date after 8 months or should it be at least a year?
YABU - Wait at least a year.
YANBU - 8 months is fine

My ex has a new girlfriend who was widowed a year before they started dating. Apparently. He'd been divorced less than two months. To me, both too soon but that's because he's a dick..

If you're happy, then try and build a new life.

Exactly if there’s no heartbreak there. What’s the point in waiting? Trying to be respectful in means of time is actually very disrespectful if you think about it. It’s just faking a heartbreak that doesn’t exist.

My dad got with his do 5 months after mum's death. Very mixed feelinga. We are happy that he's happy but he handled it very badly...blithely told us with no sort of sensitivity. I feel sidelined. His loss I guess.

It’s heartbreaking isn’t it? Our loves left us so very quickly and maybe that clouds our thoughts. I’m still grieving, crying and missing my love so much, but others may be in totally different situations. So it’s each to their own, if you’re open and ready for love then you must go for it, I’m not BUT that doesn’t make you wrong!!!! Good luck

I found it difficult after 3 years! But I figured my dad was lonely, I was an adult and I had no right to interfere. So I was outwardly happy for them.

My MIL was bereaved 6 months ago, me and DH have spoke about 'what if she finds someone'. I'm very much in the 'it's her life and she should do what makes her happy' category, he would absolutely hate it as would feel like she was replacing his dad, but he's an adult and would have to suck it up.

She looked after him amazingly whilst he was ill and then dying, she could not have been a better wife. She absolutely should do what she wants, if that turns out to be a mistake, then well she is an adult and can make her own decisions and learn from it.

You’ve had quite a few months before he actually died to mourn and grieve. It wasn’t an unexpected death. 8 months is fine in my opinion as in reality it’s been a year and a half or close to that.

My partner of 20 years died in July 2020. I was 45 and he was 71. We did not have children together but he was a decent father to my DD. It happened very quickly, hospital on Tuesday, cancer diagnosed on Wednesday but I did not know until the Thursday and dead on the Friday morning. Couldn’t visit much because of Covid restrictions. But also found out when the hospital gave me his phone that there was an OW, so maybe that made it easier to move on.
A year later I got together with someone that we had both known for about 6 years, someone my age and it all came out of the blue, I wasn’t looking for anyone and there he was and 3 years later we are still together and I’m living my best life. I did keep it quiet for a while but people that knew my partner have met him and are happy for me.
So don’t feel guilty. I know 2 men that were remarried within a year of their wives dying.
People are quick to judge but if it feels good for you, just go for it - life is too short as you found out.

I wouldn’t judge it any more harshly than if someone had split up from their husband and was then dating again after however many months. That they died seems irrelevant to me. They’re gone, you’re still here, and you feel ready to date. That is it.