My partner was "bullying" his 17 year old coworkers boyfriend "for fun" it's freaked me out beyond belief

[cdls]

He said everyone and their co workers brought their partner to the night out. I never went because I was busy.

His 17 year old co worker brought her boyfriend and he said aw she complains about him all the time and I see why he does such weird things and kept going on. So he said he decided to "bully him for fun". He was saying things like aw you" fat ugly c**ny" to her boyfriend, "your the ugliest guy I've seen" and saying aw your girlfriends definitely getting railed by so many men right now, to "make him insecure". He said he got a lift home from his friend and got his friend to join in. Her boyfriend said aw can I jump in the lift. They said no you can't drove away but came back for him. Then him, his friend and other guys from the night out joined him calling him ugly, fat etc.

I'm freaked out so much. He told me this story so easily like it wasn't incredibly weird and I was weird for not laughing.

He is 28 and so I am. This girl is 17 and her boyfriend is 18. Why on earth would he do that?

He's never given me weird vibes like that but honestly that's unbelievably off and I haven't been able to even look at him.

How did his friends join in?? Is this just "lads humour"??? Is this normal for guy?? To me it's incredibly weird

I'm absolutely cringing for him. Your boyfriend has been at his job for 3 months and he's bullied a young lad about his appearance and basically boasted that him and his co workers all wanted to have sex with a 17 year old girl.
Hope he has the worst beer fear. He'll be lucky if they keep him on.

As for you OP you can have my first LTB.
Please please get out while you are young and before you have a mortgage and children.
Hope you are ok.

How can you put up with someone who thinks like that and speaks like that?

I'd be mortified

Why are you even writing a post about this. Dump him! I would have dumped him on the spot. Plus, he fancies the 17 year old - I promise you.

@SkunderlaiSkendi

Failed was a typo in my post.

Here is the post with the typo corrected - it should have read 'railed' not 'failed':

You didn't read that he made sexual comments about the 17 year old @SkunderlaiSkendi?

It's in the very first post:

saying aw your girlfriends definitely getting railed by so many men right now, to "make him insecure"

Saying, publicly, to her boyfriend that she is 'getting railed by so many men right now' is unequivocally a sexual remark, no?

Do you honestly not see that as a sexual remark? Or did you just miss it when reading her post originally?

The quote said railed not failed. Why have you changed this?

This is what the OP said:
He was saying things like aw you" fat ugly cny" to her boyfriend, "your the ugliest guy I've seen" and saying aw your girlfriends definitely getting railed by so many men right now,

It was my typo @CaptainMyCaptain but tbh it was a pretty clear one (as I only made it once, not the first time I mentioned the quote) so I'm not sure why @SkunderlaiSkendi didn't realise that.

I'm interested into how they could have read OP's first post, including the below, and then claimed they didn't see any sexual comments he had made about the 17 year old!

aw your girlfriends definitely getting railed by so many men right now

Either they don't see the above as a sexual comment (?!) or they didn't bother to read the OP's post properly I suppose.

It's not normal. It's mean, nasty and has had goodness knows what effect on the lad. I'd have his bags packed and he'd be out. If he's capable of doing that, he's capable of doing anything.

Ewww, Sorry! You’re absolutely right. I mean that type of protective where a group of men decide that a poor young girl can’t possibly look after herself and outside males are a no-go but that was in no way clear from what I have written. It wasn’t even that early 🤣

fuckin hell.......!admit this post stayed in my head - just back on.
. i read through further replies- - alot of them state 1st thought was "fancy 17 yr old" .
I already know my logic/way see stuff isnt always tuned in to anythin close to common sense. ..i also know human nature tends to (want to)find reason for pretty much any unreasonable instance.
him act that way cos some way "fancies"17 yr old not impossible.Absolute every shade of ignorance be required to display this doing what bf did in attempt to sweep of feet? catch her eye? not likely result in positive result....
@cdls said at start her bf at works do-every body took partners-she didni go/ busy.
stated, no bells redflags whistles. . post unfolds as she KNOWS cos he swung in and shamelessly told her.HE was amused ,even grew a wee gang joined in. his casual delivery of cruel,unecessary,nasty words/actions -all intentional-targeted aim to cause the lad
distress..created his personal entertainment entire evening-guilt free\youre the weirdo if not find funny-reitterated by couple of the guys joined in.(so its normal banter??)
ive actual gave myself the fear- tummy in knots-doin the hold body total rigid(rabbit in headlights)...ayei might be way off mark,maybe yet another symptom of cptds...BUT- I think KNOW this dance.
ENTIRE -came in-told that how night went - might be not even close to truth. Is absolute result of absolute .him being bout the worst cunt ever -- HE went work do,alone. ev one took partner. EVERY insecurity /rational or not is why hes swung in n punished you you -claim not in line wi his usual behaviour..ONLY ever likely do that nwoodni happen if u there.

17yr old female absolutely easy pick a victim prey-he prob is inclined to believe hes superior...EEEEeeven her partner went
POOR him have go solo.
might well be im nuts..doesnt change facts-that can be a ultimate manipulation tactic. Mask dropt-gets way worse so genuiney hope iv gt it wrong

a

What?
That made no sense.

He's vile trash. Dump him. I hope he's reported to HR/whoever and is sacked for it.

That's horrible and just shows what sort of a person he is - I can imagine siblings or best friends saying similar to each other in genuine jest, but he can't have known the 17 year old colleague's boyfriend well enough to pass comments like that to him! Nasty, bullying behaviour, I couldn't be with someone like this.

@Tittibits .. sorry.i dunno why tagged,can't seem to delete.

@CaptainMyCaptain . Fair. Pretty much was reactive, in throws of flashback and unresolved/ right back there trauma overwhelm.
None of THAT made sense either.
What hit me and I failed to manage to express was
Having read back from start ,and additional responses i can see Heavy lean indicate the bf behaviour may be cos 'fancys" teen colleague.
Given bfs words/actions I wouldn't have suspected that.
was still mull that over...when hit like a truck ... Definitely indicated in initial post.
Bf, back from work do - that partners also invite/attend. Op didni go/busy.
She says outta character/never experienced him do/say anything in 8yrs that suggested he capable/potentially EVER do/say/act like this. Utterly repulsed especially cos came in, TOLD her, like is ok . Her query is it lad banter?
His mate's joined in .leads self doubt.
SOMEWHERE in my head recognised this shit.
Seems viable bf said,did, unashamed admitted to horrendous entertainment intentionally assassinate confidence/ cause insecurities.. of young fella...cos he thinks 17 year old colleague "below" him.YET....even she attended wi +1.
He unlikely EVER do anything even close to this.. historically.. Indeed EVER again. Providing op with him/ doesn't cripple his confidence FORCE him to go alone.
Dunno IV clarify tbh

Absolutely abhorrent behaviour! Tells you everything you need to know and there is absolutely no excuse.

The part where he asked to jump in the car and then drove off made me feel physically uneasy. People commit suicide over stuff like this. The poor kid has probably had it swirling around his head constantly.

Dump the vile piece of shit. Evil, evil bully. He will end up doing this to you too OP, you know this?

The poor lad, this will probably scar him. This is horrific.

I would also let your "D"P's workplace know what a cunt he is.