My partner was "bullying" his 17 year old coworkers boyfriend "for fun" it's freaked me out beyond belief

[cdls]

He said everyone and their co workers brought their partner to the night out. I never went because I was busy.

His 17 year old co worker brought her boyfriend and he said aw she complains about him all the time and I see why he does such weird things and kept going on. So he said he decided to "bully him for fun". He was saying things like aw you" fat ugly c**ny" to her boyfriend, "your the ugliest guy I've seen" and saying aw your girlfriends definitely getting railed by so many men right now, to "make him insecure". He said he got a lift home from his friend and got his friend to join in. Her boyfriend said aw can I jump in the lift. They said no you can't drove away but came back for him. Then him, his friend and other guys from the night out joined him calling him ugly, fat etc.

I'm freaked out so much. He told me this story so easily like it wasn't incredibly weird and I was weird for not laughing.

He is 28 and so I am. This girl is 17 and her boyfriend is 18. Why on earth would he do that?

He's never given me weird vibes like that but honestly that's unbelievably off and I haven't been able to even look at him.

How did his friends join in?? Is this just "lads humour"??? Is this normal for guy?? To me it's incredibly weird

I really couldn't get past the ick that would give me.

What a truly horrible, nasty man he is.

Don't let him gaslight you into minimalising this because he will - he has shown who he is now.

What will you do?

Let’s hope she reports him and he loses his job. Nobody should have to put up with that shit. Bet he treats her badly in the workplace as well.

Bets on he fancies her, doesn’t have a chance in hell and this is how he reacts. Grim.

That would be awful at any age, but it really resonates with me because my DC is in their first job and receiving this type of "banter" from his co-workers. DC is already on anti-depressants, so I am furious (and worried). No excuse possible for this.

Don't ignore or minimise this. It's totally unacceptable.

You have a LONG life ahead of you - choose someone kind and thoughtful to share it with.

Oh I’ve just re-read he has only been there three months? If his company has anything about them they will fire him.

Ugh.

What a pathetic excuse for a human he is. Not only did he do this and encourage others to join in, but he gleefully told you all about it. It would be over for me on the spot.

He sounds rough.

Do better.

He sounds like a very nasty piece of work if he thinks bullying is funny.
certainly couldn’t stand being near anyone like him.

i came in with that statement yes. Admitedly as i went through the details and impact the absolute depravity and disgust i felt undeniably strengtened and increased/so- let me ammend that now- to have absolutely no alternative -this =absolute dealbreaker. (in continuing any form rship with him,at all)

This is horrifying, that poor boy . My son is attending a Christmas party with his girlfriend soon and I'm sick to my stomach of the thoughts of grown men treating him like this . As others have said your boyfriend has shown you his real character i would dump him immediately

My ex was nasty to his co worker because she was promoted over him. He literally made her cry in the toilets , he was awful. I ended the relationship for many reasons, but like your one he was nasty bully with narcissistic injury . Awful. Leave him.

I may be sensitive about this because of a suicidal son but OP, that made me cry.

How utterly vile :(

That is absolutely disgraceful. I’d kick his ass to the kerb quicker than he could draw breath. He’s shown you who he is, believe him. There is no way I can forgive someone for mentally torturing anyone and to laugh about it and feel anything other than deep shame and embarrassment is fucking psychotic.

He's told you exactly why he’s done it. He wants to make her poor boyfriend feel insecure so he can put doubt in his mind and cause arguments in their relationship presumably so they split up and he can have sex with her. Why would he try and convince him that she’s having sex with other people if he doesn’t want to have sex with her himself? He said 28 is old, so he wants a young girl. It’s predatory behaviour. 🤢 He’s a low-life and so are all his colleagues that joined in. He is a vile specimen with the mental range of a tea spoon. There’s no way I could ever have sex with him again. Fuck that. He’s misogynistic as well and I expect if you think not too deeply about it that this is just one in a long line of humiliating things he’s done, they’re probably just more subtle.

Dump him and make sure he knows how disgusting he is and laugh at his tiny cock and all the times you had to fake an orgasm whilst you do it. Doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, this juvenile, nasty creature needs bringing down to his own level. Can’t abide bullies they are the worst type of people. If 28 is “old” why is he so immature and gross? 🤮

Thats the first thing I thought. He fancies her and is trying to stick a wedge in to split them or cast doubts.

What a wanker

He is a cruel and insecure man.

That poor, poor guy. Get rid op.. and quick.

Honestly this would be enough for me to end it. I was bullied and have a zero tolerance for bullies. This poor kid just wanted a nice night out and they were so horrible to him. Feeling upset thinking about it.

He obviously fancies his co worker who is a kid also. Plus what a horrible way to talk about her too. Disgusting. When people show you who they are, believe them. He showed you a hidden side without a shred of remorse.

that poor girl and her boyfriend. Not sure it’s ever appropriate to speak to anyone like that, frankly and certainly not to a minor and a very young lad. I’m afraid this would so severely repulse me that DP would be an ex. If I met the girl again, I’d also encourage her to report it - or leave and find a work environment not occupied by absolute trolls like your DP and colleagues. She needs to know that this is unacceptable behaviour and not what she should put up with.

Can you imagine a man like your DP as a parent? With those values? [Shudders]

He definitely fancies her.
his behaviour was beyond disgusting, I could not be with someone like that. Imagine how this girl feels about going to work with your partner and how her BF feels today.

edit: I also hope she reports it, he deserves to lose his job over his inappropriate behaviour (sounds like he is inappropriate at work too).

I would dump him, he's showed you who he is. He sound awful. When people treat staff or those they don't consider 'equal' badly it shows their true character. I'd be out of there in a second.

He sounds absolutely awful! I can’t imagine him having any redeeming qualities that would compensate for this

The more I've thought about this I think if it was me I'd report him to his employer myself as the girl might be afraid to. And dump him obviously.

Exactly this

just reading this thread triggers me

If someone spoke to my dc like that I’d be spending Christmas Day in a cell I imagine.
I know mumsnet is all about civilised society but if someone called my dc names like that I’d punch them so hard they’d be shitting their own teeth over the festive period.