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Original poster

My partner was "bullying" his 17 year old coworkers boyfriend "for fun" it's freaked me out beyond belief

215 replies

cdls · 18/12/2024 02:48

He said everyone and their co workers brought their partner to the night out. I never went because I was busy.

His 17 year old co worker brought her boyfriend and he said aw she complains about him all the time and I see why he does such weird things and kept going on. So he said he decided to "bully him for fun". He was saying things like aw you" fat ugly c**ny" to her boyfriend, "your the ugliest guy I've seen" and saying aw your girlfriends definitely getting railed by so many men right now, to "make him insecure". He said he got a lift home from his friend and got his friend to join in. Her boyfriend said aw can I jump in the lift. They said no you can't drove away but came back for him. Then him, his friend and other guys from the night out joined him calling him ugly, fat etc.

I'm freaked out so much. He told me this story so easily like it wasn't incredibly weird and I was weird for not laughing.

He is 28 and so I am. This girl is 17 and her boyfriend is 18. Why on earth would he do that?

He's never given me weird vibes like that but honestly that's unbelievably off and I haven't been able to even look at him.

How did his friends join in?? Is this just "lads humour"??? Is this normal for guy?? To me it's incredibly weird

OP posts:
Thevelvelletes · 18/12/2024 07:04

I'll bet on the basis of him fancying a 17 year old he'll have some questionable sm followings on Instagram etc.

Allfur · 18/12/2024 07:06

She should have defended her boyfriend but then why is she complaining about him to your dp in the first place?

User37482 · 18/12/2024 07:06

He actually said “your girlfriend is getting railed by so many men”. The way he spoke about his co-worker who is just a kid and they way he spoke to her boyfriend is utterly disgusting.

Honestly LTB just LTB, it’s who he is unleashed. Jesus he’s utterly vile, poor kids being subjected to this shit.

CaptainMyCaptain · 18/12/2024 07:07

He's disgusting. Get rid of him and tell him why.

SleepDeprivedElf · 18/12/2024 07:08

Look please don't overlook this. If you end up having a daughter together then what shite will he come out with? Grim.

RosesAndHellebores · 18/12/2024 07:14

How awful. @cdls I hope he doesn't ill treat you and if not I'd be reflecting on the example he would set if you stay with him and have children with him. What sort of father would he be? Might sons grow up in the shadow of a misogynistic boor and take its shape?

As an employer: he's on probation, has no employment rights and I would investigate and dismiss if I heard about it.

As a mother with a ds of 29 and dd of 26 (with a 28 year old bf), I'd be horrified if my ds behaved like that and worried sick about my dd if her bf behaved like that. Such behaviour doesn't suddenly appear as a one-off. What is this man's family like - have a good, hard reflective look and have a think about whether you want to be associated with them as well as him for a life time. Perhaps ask your family what they really think of him.

Have think about the 18 year old boy and his 17 year old girlfriend this morning. I wonder if they have had a row, whether there have been tears, whether she can face work this morning. As a worse case scenario, let's hope neither of them have self harmed as a result of the incident and/or its fall out. Possibly both sets of parents are dealing with very upset young people at present.

If you haven't seriously thought about the potential consequences of your boyfriend's behaviour, please do. One day there will be probable consequences for you.

Pancakeorcrepe · 18/12/2024 07:20

He is a pig. I couldn’t get past this

SleepQuest33 · 18/12/2024 07:20

OP, my DS is 17 years old, I would’ve seriously concerned about the long term impact on his confidence had this happened to him.

please please tell your manchild to contact his coworker, apologise and explain he was drunk. We don’t know how resilient that 18 year old is, being bullied by an older man in this way could be extremely damaging.

Maximusdecimus · 18/12/2024 07:24

She is a child. And I think he has probably tried it on with her, been rejected and is acting out of spite. What an ugly little worm he is.

Viavita · 18/12/2024 07:27

This would be the end for me. That poor boy - hope he's ok.

AnonAnonEmouse · 18/12/2024 07:27

Ugh. I'm afraid this is one of those "When someone shows you who they are, believe them" moments. Get rid OP, you can do so much better.

Oreyt · 18/12/2024 07:27

@tolerable

You seemed so passionate about this but then also put To be absolutely truthful I would be inclined to seriously consider potentially an abslute dealbreaker.

CatsBeCrazy · 18/12/2024 07:27

I really hope this young girl tells someone and they give her the right advice and get this thing managed out . You also deserve soo much better too , you'll be looking over your shoulder for ever wondering who he is going to bully next including bullying you . Show this creep the door

Threewheeler1 · 18/12/2024 07:27

SleepQuest33 · 18/12/2024 07:20

OP, my DS is 17 years old, I would’ve seriously concerned about the long term impact on his confidence had this happened to him.

please please tell your manchild to contact his coworker, apologise and explain he was drunk. We don’t know how resilient that 18 year old is, being bullied by an older man in this way could be extremely damaging.

Mine too.
Really feel for that 18 year old.
What a horrible introduction to the behaviour of some 'adult ' males.

jannier · 18/12/2024 07:27

I'm imagining when he has teenagers he will start on them and any partners they have and use them to target you for fun.....he's nasty and will get worse.

Beezknees · 18/12/2024 07:28

That would be a deal breaker for me. What a fucking horrible person.

frequencytwiglet · 18/12/2024 07:29

Grim!

Motnight · 18/12/2024 07:29

Poor co-worker and her boyfriend.

ChristmasinBrighton · 18/12/2024 07:29

Dump him. He’s nasty as hell and at some point it will be you on the receiving end.

I couldn’t stay with someone who behaved like this.

Penguinmouse · 18/12/2024 07:30

This is a red flag and would be such an ick for me. Finding it funny to belittle a child because that’s what a 17 year old is and not only doing it, but proudly boasting about it to you? He’s disgusting. Don’t know if you have children or want them but this would be a big warning sign.

ExitViaGiftShop · 18/12/2024 07:31

This is disturbing. I really hope he gets reported by either the girl or one of his co workers. Appalling behaviour, rather sick actually. To pick on defenceless teens shows that he is a coward and let's face it, he's probably a bit of a thicko. I'm guessing you were picking up on red flags but have been ignoring them? I doubt this sort of behaviour is out of the blue.

Penguinsmum · 18/12/2024 07:33

Omg this is absolutely horrible. I couldn't look at him the same way again. Pathetic.

mumedu · 18/12/2024 07:34

Reconsider your future with him.

Thekormachameleon · 18/12/2024 07:34

He sounds disgusting

I'd be so embarrassed by him I'd end things

Also, if he'd bullied my son in this way, I'd track him down and humiliate him in the worst, most public way
Bullies stop bullying when they get bullied back

WhereAreWeNow · 18/12/2024 07:34

Horrible. I couldn't be with this man.

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