My partner was "bullying" his 17 year old coworkers boyfriend "for fun" it's freaked me out beyond belief

[cdls]

He said everyone and their co workers brought their partner to the night out. I never went because I was busy.

His 17 year old co worker brought her boyfriend and he said aw she complains about him all the time and I see why he does such weird things and kept going on. So he said he decided to "bully him for fun". He was saying things like aw you" fat ugly c**ny" to her boyfriend, "your the ugliest guy I've seen" and saying aw your girlfriends definitely getting railed by so many men right now, to "make him insecure". He said he got a lift home from his friend and got his friend to join in. Her boyfriend said aw can I jump in the lift. They said no you can't drove away but came back for him. Then him, his friend and other guys from the night out joined him calling him ugly, fat etc.

I'm freaked out so much. He told me this story so easily like it wasn't incredibly weird and I was weird for not laughing.

He is 28 and so I am. This girl is 17 and her boyfriend is 18. Why on earth would he do that?

He's never given me weird vibes like that but honestly that's unbelievably off and I haven't been able to even look at him.

How did his friends join in?? Is this just "lads humour"??? Is this normal for guy?? To me it's incredibly weird

He's vile, and wierd....what kind of 28 year old thinks it's appropriate to say such things to anybody, let alone a 17 year old?

What a disgusting little man your partner is, he’d be an ex partner to me as there’s no way that piece of shit would be in my bed!

I hope the young lady reports him to management, they were on a works night out and it’s standard to expect the same behavior and policies as when in work!

I also hope she or her boyfriend have a dad or brother who comes to have words with your utter prick of a partner.

That was my first thought too, OP. He fancies the 17 year old and wanted to act like the big man. Lots of red flags here.

Do not ignore the red flag!

Big brave "man", until he's confronted by real men I bet ...bastard!

I keep coming back to this thread. Report him. Just send an anonymous email if need be.

I don't believe in karma but I hope he gets erectile problems

Awful behaviour. And how on earth did he bring this to you? Sounds like he was pleased with himself and thought it sounded funny/interesting/normal.

He is horrible.

This is horrible. My first thought as well was he fancies the girl and he was trying to show off and possibly cause a rift between them. Nasty behaviour, did he feel like the big man picking on teenagers? Weird.

I'd be dumping him ASAP. He's wicked.

Well he is soon likely to be unemployed when she complains to hr about him bringing the company into disrepute.

Your standards need to be a lot higher.

Sadly OP I think he’s shown you who he really is . I think you need to have a long hard think about whether you want to build your life with this person . At 28 you are very young and have a lot of life in front of you to meet someone else or to be miserable if he treats you that way too . It is probably only a matter of time before he treats you that way if he doesn’t already .

I couldn’t be with a man like this, I just don’t think I could get past him acting like this towards a couple of kids but also a kid he works with.

I’d be thinking about what other nasty things he’s done or said that I don’t know about. The fact he’s so blasé about it & finds it hilarious is worrying. It’s obviously not a new thing if he’s so relaxed about it, and he can so easily get others to go along with him. Nope, it would have to be the end for me. What happens if/when you have kids? Is he going to be the dad that belittles his daughter’s boyfriends? What about their friends, is he going to be bullying them too?

I was thinking that.

Incredibly weird and a dealbreaker for me. Not just because it’s so odd and nasty, but also because it reveals a really weird and problematic attitude towards teenagers. This would be it for me.

Eurgh. And he came home bragging about it expecting a pat on the back. I'm in my 30's & couldnt imagine speaking to an 18 year old like that.

It sounds like the 18 year old handled it really well. I hope someone has reported your partner, its vile what he has done.

I'd leave my partner over this

If anyone on here has a 17 year old daughter who has had a work Xmas party recently please check in with her. Hopefully her mum might be on here and encourage her to take this further.

Same goes for an 18 year old son who has been to his gf works do.

Urgh what an utterly vile wanker 🤮 Get rid!!

That's an immediate ditch situation for me. I don't have any tolerance for bullies, particularly adults who know better. The fact he came home preening about it is enough to seal my fanny shut for life. Ick.

I'm a man. Let me assure you that he's got the hots for this young woman. He's acting aggressively to show that he's the "big man".

1. He wants to play the field
2. This behaviour is truly bloody disgusting
3. Given the age gap, it's really weird, too
4. You really don't need people like this in your life.
5. Get yourself a new, normal, decent partner

If I were you, he would already be history. Make this a happier Christmas - get rid of him!

That would be a dealbreaker for me.

I hope you don't have children with him, and just LTB. honestly... that is unacceptable

That's really horrible what he did to the lad...but this stood out for me the most:

and saying aw your girlfriends definitely getting railed by so many men right now, to "make him insecure

Talking about a 17 year old getting 'railed' by many men is really really gross and gives off sex predator vibes!

He 100% fancies the co-worker and wants her to think he's more of a man than her bf. It's creepy. If he's made comments about you being old (!!!) then he's checking out whether he could trade you in for a younger model. He is mega gross. You can do so much better.

This. All you need to know about him.

That's worrying and problematic behaviour, especially from a 28 year old - younger people now are mostly very worried about causing offence and do not make horrible jokes like that about people's appearance like the older generation might. I'd be seriously reconsidering the relationship particularly if you planned to have children in future.

Your ex-partner.....that would be it for me.