AIBU to think my idea of Christmas Day isn’t miserable at all?

[Brandysauce]

DH and I have a three year old and, now they’re old enough to really set out “our” Christmas Day traditions, have been constantly disagreeing on the order of Christmas Day. I have extremely fond memories (as we all do) of the way I did it growing up and think it makes great sense on the day re. presents. This is my proposal:

Stocking from Father Christmas opened first thing in the morning, brought into parents’ room and ripped open in excitement. This will consist of at least one “really exciting” present that will entertain them all morning.

Later on, the family all convene for Christmas Dinner which can stretch on for a while, all the family are there including cousins.

After lunch, the whole family moves to the living room by the Christmas tree and then the main present opening begins, taking in turns.

My DH says this is a “miserable” way of doing Christmas and that we should let DC open all presents in the morning. AIBU to want to put my foot down on this?

So I've said you're being unreasonable, purely because you said 'to want to put my foot down on this'.

Who put you in charge? It's a marriage, you need to compromise.

Also my children would stage a full scale revolution if we tried to pull this 😂

I wouldn’t want to do it your way either, DC open everything first thing, but surely the key thing is you need to compromise and find a way that suits your own family? Not just one person decreeing that the way their family did it was the best and it must be replicated exactly?

This. It’s not a dictatorship.

YABU trying to dictate what to do- your husband should have a say as well! Everyone has fond memories of how they did things when they were a child, but isn't the whole point of having your own family that you can start your own routines and traditions?

My opinion on what you actually do isn't what you were asking, but YABU on that front as well in my opinion- present opening is in the morning!

When your child is older it might work this way, but I don't think it will right now. Also can you find a middle ground and compromise??

I wouldn't like your way, we open all presents first and just go for it, I love the crazy excitement

Yeah I agree with your husband, you’re unreasonable here and I wouldn’t want to do it your way & would have hated it your way as a child myself.

No I wouldn't want to do this either.

Presents from you in the morning. Also cousins may get different presents than your kids.

Id do most of it in the morning then a gift to the cousins/cousins gift to you after lunch so it extends the day but isnt madness after lunch.

Fully team husband here!

Obviously every family makes their own traditions but don't see why your way makes any more sense than husbands.

YABU for saying "our own Christmas day traditions"

Your way is our way. Our family have done it in this order since Victorian times. If you rip open the presents first thing what do you do after lunch?

Think it might be a middle class delayed gratification thing though.

Well to be fair it is mn whatever women says is right

But personally you are not a child so having a tantrum is not the way to go

Okay it seems my way of doing it is unusual which obviously it doesn’t seem to me as it’s how Christmas always was, but I don’t recall my siblings or cousins ever complaining about it. Appreciate it’s not a dictatorship, both mine and DH have our equally important special memories — just don’t think my way of doing it is “miserable” exactly!

We've always done presents in the morning - otherwise the children would not endure lunch gracefully, or let anyone else enjoy it either.

I don't see Christmas day as a time for restraint or delayed gratification!

Yeah, it's miserable to dangle presents in front of your three year old and not allow her to open them on the morning with her stocking.

Agree with this. Also presumably family coming round will be bringing another load of presents with them, so open the ones from Santa (you) first and then family presents after dinner.

I can't conceive of Xmas like this!
Stockings were hung on the fireplace and filled there. Approx 5am We all crept down to see if he'd been, absolutely no parents allowed down before children.

Then into the sitting room, and EVERYTHING opened in one go. Wrapping paper everywhere. Delighted children. Yawning parents.

Then coffee and champagne for us, coco pops for DC and then start the day.

Grandparents arrive lunchtime.

Kids don't want to wait for all that nonsense to pass first, Christmas is about the kids. Team DH here.

Mornings are for presents!

My pils did it your way.

I did think it was very unfair on the kids as mine were so wound up with excitement from early morning and would be made to wait until after all the adults had eaten.

I did use the word miserable, yes.

But what I meant to add is that you need to find a compromise. That's what marriage is about.

Thank goodness ours are old teens now and don't wake at 5am anymore.

This was always the thought in my family too. It extended the excitement for us children.

Absolutely this. Christmas isn’t the time for delayed gratification. Exciting morning opening presents, then everyone can enjoy lunch rather than having kids staring at presents and antsy to get them, after lunch play with toys, chat, play board games.

If you have a mix of adults & kids on Christmas Day with guests coming then can do presents from guests after lunch

I am same as you, DH same as yours.

Middle ground with girls is they get Santa in morning, all of it.

Then everything else in turns after lunch.

The taking turns opening presents bit is a bit sort of... formal? I'm normally sat by the tree dishing presents out and they're being opened as quick as they're received.

On Christmas our children open all the gifts under the tree first thing. They get plenty of other gifts from family later in the day to open
and they can’t wait to see their gifts Santa. The whole “put your foot down thing”. Who made you the boss in your marriage? why do you get the deciding vote.

Also I love the time spent in the morning with the children open their gifts. We can give them their full attention and enjoy the moment rather than being a big affair with other family where we have to wait in a rotating schedule for everyone to open a gift.