AIBU to think my idea of Christmas Day isn’t miserable at all?

[Brandysauce]

DH and I have a three year old and, now they’re old enough to really set out “our” Christmas Day traditions, have been constantly disagreeing on the order of Christmas Day. I have extremely fond memories (as we all do) of the way I did it growing up and think it makes great sense on the day re. presents. This is my proposal:

Stocking from Father Christmas opened first thing in the morning, brought into parents’ room and ripped open in excitement. This will consist of at least one “really exciting” present that will entertain them all morning.

Later on, the family all convene for Christmas Dinner which can stretch on for a while, all the family are there including cousins.

After lunch, the whole family moves to the living room by the Christmas tree and then the main present opening begins, taking in turns.

My DH says this is a “miserable” way of doing Christmas and that we should let DC open all presents in the morning. AIBU to want to put my foot down on this?

We spread presents through the day too.

Stockings/Santa's presents first thing, but then rounds of "shall we do some presents?" throughout the day. It's lovely and suits our family (we stay over at PILs for Xmas, so there are quite a few people). DC would just get completely overwhelmed if they opened all the presents at once - they love the anticipation; knowing that there are still lovely things under the tree.

I agree with you op that’s how we did it when I was a kid!

So after hours and hours, everyone sits around, miserably opening one gift at a time while everyone else watches their performance. Then the next person takes their turn.
Sounds excruciating.

We have always done presents after the meal.
Otherwise any one cooking or getting the table ready would miss the present opening.
I've always taken as much joy in giving as receiving gifts - I would be devastated if everyone opened their gifts and I wasn't there to see because I was making the meal.

YABVU for saying you’ll put your foot down, he’s not your child. If DH said that to or about me he’d be getting a divorce for Christmas.

I think there’s a compromise in having main tree presents first thing and doing the smaller stocking presents later. I do think it’s mean to leave presents in kids sight and not let them have them when they’re so young.

We do similar, all santa presents in the morning and presents from extended family who are coming round in the afternoon, so either mine or DHs side and any presents of other extended family (my aunts and uncles). Then Boxing Day they get presents from the other side of the family. So we probably spread the presents out more than you do. I find if we give them all in one of the kids get overwhelmed and some stuff just gets ignored.

We have always done Stockings as you did (do) and then everyone dressed, breakfast and the next round of presents in the stretch of morning before the cooking starts. I think waiting for the end of breakfast was enough for my children when they were younger. Any other presents from family as and when.

My exH did compromise on this because his family did everyone up at 6am (or even earlier!) and basically all presents opened including tree presents opened asap - even he could see my logic but think he would of said no not really to presents after lunch.

In case I don't think you should put your foot down, Christmas Day should be a joint effort with joint values. You need to compromise on this.

I always had Father Christmas presents in the morning, presents from each other and whoever is eating with us after dinner, then presents that were given before Christmas from wider family and friends on Boxing Day.

DH had a gigantic opening fest in the morning.

When we are hosting we do things pretty much my way, although we exchange gifts between ourselves in the morning too now and then just have the gifts for the guests who have come for dinner.

When we go to PIL it's a stressful mass opening, gifts are thrust at you before you've even sat down and without fail the DC end up losing things usually money and someone usually BIL2 opens any edible gifts we've been given.

Anyone who uses the phrase "put my foot down" is BU

Sooo miserable

People wait until after dinner to open presents? 😳 that's a first for me!

Could you find a compromise?

We do stockings piled into our bed (this now includes adult DC!) then downstairs where we open all gifts from us to each other /santa gifts.

After lunch with family we have a second round of gifts to each other so aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents etc.

Presents is a morning thing. Maybe all save each other an “after dinner present” if you can’t cope with present opening ending so early.

From your posts OP, you think your way is the "right" way regardless of what other people have posted (especially those who are suggesting you should work in partnership with your DH).

So don't bother garnering opinions- just put that foot of yours down and militantly do it "your" way, not your immediate family's way.

Happy Christmas.

We do stocking in rooms before parents wake up so we arent woken up at 5am. Then tree presents in the morning some before and some aftwr breakfast. Then a couple of gifts and gifts from family in the afternoon. Maybe leave on gift until after dinner. I think your way is a bit miserable if they have to wait until the end of the day to get their main presents. But everyone is different

I think the day should be more free flowing. It seems a bit timetabled.

No? In our house the kids hand out the gifts from under the tree with help from the adults to whoever the recipient is so everyone has one at roughly the same time and then we all open together. It’s really lovely and means everyone is involved, plus everyone is opening their own gifts so no pressure of being watched.

Dh and I were talking about the excitement of opening the living room door and seeing our stocking (usually a big football stock, not the fancy ones you get today) with our pile of presents, we both remuneration opening our stockings and then our big presents, we then spent the morning, playing with ours and our siblings gifts before having brunch l we both then visited family from about 1/2pm.

we then received presents from family members when when we visited them or they visited us.

this is how we’ve done things with our children and that excitement of hen coming downstairs and seeing their stocking and pile of gifts is still exciting for me. (Dd was petrified of the thought of Santa being in her room so we do stockings downstairs)

I couldn’t imagine only having opened a small stocking in the morning and then have to wait until all the family arrives to open the rest, it doesn’t seem as magical to me.

We used to do it your way op and as a child it was shit having to wait all day to open gifts. Having said that, l understand ypu don't want your child getting overwhelmed. Must be sone kind of a compromise.

YANBU!

We do stockings first thing (though they have to wait until everyone has a cup of tea in hand). Then make the kids have a bowl of cereal while the grown ups get their breakfast organised and then we all sit down with our fizz and sandwiches to open presents together. There is always one person who gives out the presents, the kids don't help themselves and tear everything to shreds.

If we have other family coming or we are going to visit other family then we will do the presents to/from each other together then, which can stretch into the afternoon.

We have done it this way for all of time. Kids are 3, 6 & 7 this year and have never complained. Last year my brothers faffed a lot in between times and there was a lot of waiting for the kids and I was incredibly impressed at how patient they were. They didn't whine once and it stops all the excitement being over in 10 mins flat.

They have also been taught (though I will admit they are not perfect yet) that they mustn't just rip one thing open and move straight onto the next thing without so much as looking at it, cos quite frankly that behaviour is just gross.

Neither of these are what OP had said, lots of people do just stockings from Santa, which go in their room or by the bedroom door or whatever. OP has said they would open their stockings first thing.

My mum used to try and make us have breakfast first, was painful. There's really no need to try and drag the excitement out for longer.

Also the turn taking present opening is entirely cringe and horrible all round.

Won't your child be getting additional presents from visiting family? So can't they do the presents from you in the morning then family ones later?

We did Christmas like this as a kid, absolutely loved it!

We had stockings and a small pile of Santa presents in the morning, dinner around 4pm and then opened family gifts. We loved the anticipation and it kept the excitement going all day. Never remember being bored during the day. Worked very well for us 😁

We have stockings in my bed. (Well used to be dc are too old to want to get in now).
Then breakfast. Then 1 present before church. The rest of the presents are opened slowly throughout the day. I love them lasting all day.

This is how we do it too. Stockings, breakfast, vaguely dressed, then family presents. Sometimes we leave a few family friend presents till later as well. I prefer the kids to have a little time to look at and appreciate the presents as they get them rather than one crazy pile.

But Christmas Day routines are so wildly different and everyone thinks their way is the right way!

We have a similar dilemma here. I'm like you, we always did tree presents after lunch (originally out of necessity as my dad often had to go into work in the morning, then just became tradition). I have to say I often resented it as a child but one year we had guests for lunch so opened everything in the morning, and the rest of the day felt so flat.

That said, as others have pointed out it's all about compromise and everyone wants to recreate their own happy memories with their children. I think we'll probably try for opening stockings first thing, then maybe spacing out a couple more over the morning until doing the rest after lunch. If the kids (4 and 2) are really struggling with it then I won't be a stickler.

Thanks, but of course I work in partnership with my DH; there are many things I’ve conceded on and done “his way” — no militant attitudes here, it’s actually a lighthearted disagreement that I thought I’d get some more opinions on, on here.